Mom lives with me is housebound but not bed bound, COPD/oxygen 24/7, anxiety/paranoia, and arthritis/muscular-skeletal pain. She needs help with carrying laundry basket up and downstairs, and a little with meal prep when she has a bad day. Every time I talk about taking a trip with my husband, she says, "Oh, I can manage perfectly well for a couple of days". Problem is, I would like to go for a week or 10 days, or it's kinda not worth going considering what the travel costs. I have offered to find someone to come in a few times for a few hours, and she starts fussing about things that need done before I go anywhere. She tells me to go, and says just plan it, but then lays all of her anxiety on me via small insignificant things and sarcasm. She says we don't need to pay money for someone to come in (she doesn't want to spend, and I even offered to pay it) and she doesn't want to be bothered with someone coming in, worries they'll bug her to death or come when she wants to be napping so it would be a waste). A million reasons why not to. Then she tells me she doesn't want to talk about it anymore and claims I'm making her out to be the bad guy when I want to address her concerns logically. I usually try to leave the room at that point rather than argue with her, or she will say something passive aggressive and go back upstairs. She can't take anti-depressants, and the counselor that was coming to see her didn't help much so she discontinued the services. We have not had home care before, and truthfully I'm a little anxious about having a stranger in our home, but willing to take a chance and give it a try to keep my own sanity and get my batteries recharged. I know I shouldn't feel guilty for needing space and time of my own and to keep our marriage on track, but I feel like if I leave, she will make me "pay" for it. Anybody have a reasonable solution/suggestion?