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My husband who won’t stop drinking, I’m thinking he is dying. He will NOT go to the hospital or paramedics. He has been sleeping about every 20 mins so deep he does not hear anything, however tonight I helped him go to the restroom where he fell asleep on toilet and then got him up and dressed, his pee was very little and very dark. His stomach is extended and he has a hernia about the size of a cantaloupe coming out his umbilical. So since about 12:30 this afternoon, he has been sleeping without getting up, I think he is going to get up but still hasn’t, he won’t talk unless I say I’m calling the paramedics he will say No very loudly. His hands and feet are very cold, but his middle is warm, he is sweating on his forehead and neck. His hands are darkish in color and his arms have splotches up and down. He also moves his arms up and down, grabbing the pillow and clasping his hands together.

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Gina, kudos to you for calling EMS.  And the fact that he needed to be intubated is confirmation that you really did the right thing.    I hope you feel comfortable with your decision. 

As to whether or not he knows you're there, from what my sister told me and depending on what meds are used, he can be aware that you're there.   When my father was intubated and in ICU for about 3 weeks, I visited regularly, played CDs and sang to him.   

He was on a monitor which showed among other things, his brain activity.  One of the nurses observed it and said he knew I was there, as brain activity increased when I  visited.
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If someone is seriously ill, you need to call 911 regardless of whether they want you to or not. I have had to call several times for my father and mother. The fire truck responds first, then the paramedics come and assess the situation. They always suggest going to the ER. You don't give the sick person a choice, you just call 911, period.
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I’m so glad that you got him help. He will now receive the help that he needed. I hope he will improve soon and both of you will find peace and joy in your life. Hugs.
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Well done Gina!!! I hope that hubby will get the treatment he needs and that things will look up for you both and your family, Please keep us updated.
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OK I did call the ambulance and got him to the hospital, they had to intubate which is helping him breathe or actually breathing for him right now he’s got several different medications one that has keeping him sedated so he doesn’t pull out the breathing tube I believe he can hear us but he can’t talk or open his eyes so I just told him I love him in and that I’m glad he’s getting better and then I’m making him turkey dinner so when he comes home he can have it he has been having some small heart attacks and they’re giving him medication to thin his blood so that will hopefully help that
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lealonnie1 Nov 2019
Good job Gina! You did the right thing. Bless you for helping DH get the medical treatment he SO needed. Keeping you in my thoughts & prayers and wishing the best possible outcome for your hubby
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gina - how are things?
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AlvaDeer Nov 2019
We are all thinking about you, Gina. Hope you can update us. How are you today?
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Call 911 even if he refuses treatment when they get there. There's a risk you could be faulted for not calling them regardless of what he says. You can tell him that - that you have to call them because if you don't, you could be blamed for the outcome.

Also someone below said he might not be aware enough to give or withhold consent. Get them there. If he does die, you're want to at least have called them.

Please keep us updated on what happens. As someone else said below, we'll all be worrying now. Good luck!
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Good advice and suggestions.  You're in a difficult situation, so you do have to think about repercussions to him and to you if you don't call EMS.   

You might also privately raise with them the fact that alcohol is involved.  There may be a way they can take him to the ER, even if he refuses, b/c of the dangerous potential of alcohol, in combination with the negative physical signs he's displaying.  

And the fact seems to be that he's unaware of his condition, raising the issue of whether or not he's cognizant enough to make decisions on his own behalf.

I don't recall the details, but have some recollection that in addition to a psych hold, there used to be a temporary hold for evaluation if someone was unable to make his/her own decisions.   That's just a recollection from a long time ago; ask EMS when you call about that kind of temp hold, which might help get him straightened out enough that he's literally not on the verge of death.

I feel badly for you; it's really upsetting when someone is in such danger but won't accept help.
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I am not medically trained, however, I have seen this before with my cousin. I would call 911 and have the EMT's take a look at him, hopefully they can convince him to go to the ER.
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I would call 911. If you don’t you may regret it. Do what you want to do, not what he is telling you to do.
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Of course follow the advice given but may I ask how he is continuing to get alcohol. I am assuming you do mean that. Hopefully you can not continue to have it in the house. It doesn't sound as though he is capable of obtaining it himself physically. Sorry you are having such a difficult time with self destructive behavior.
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Just do what your gut instinct tells you to do. Don't wait!
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I think that you must know if he is conscious he is able to refuse treatment, unless completely irrational. If unconscious you should call 911. It sounds as though this continuing to drink has him at end stage, and he may not make it, but you will have tried. I hope that you two have made out any papers you must to make things easier for you, and that you have plans in place for the inevitable. I am so sorry that this is his decision, as it is a virtual death wish, but there is little you an honestly do. I am so very sorry. It does look as though you are looking at the end of his life. So very very sorry. Please update us as we will worry about you.
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You all know that unless he is unconscious that he can refuse to go. The only thing that getting EMTs involved will accomplish is there will be a record that he refused to go. This is good for her.

So...call 911.
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Call 911 immediately regardless of not wanting you to do so!!! He needs attention now!!
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DEFINITELY call 911 right away whether he tells you No or not! My sister neglected to do that and found her husband dead when she came home from shopping. She will always regret the decision she made because she didn't want to make him angry. It's ok to make him mad.......he will forgive you while he recuperates from whatever he's suffering from. He needs medical attention.
Good luck!
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You should just call 911. This doesn't sound good.

I would also request a psychiatric evaluation once he is there. He is to young to be so apathetic and he needs help to get back amongst the living.
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