MC unit where we moved mom to got an Rx for anti-anxiety, i avoided the move (let brothers do that!) and stayed away for 2 weeks. They used that during the first few weeks. Other than hounding my younger brother when he managed to visit about taking her back to her condo, she never bothered me and I heard nothing bad until she developed a UTI. She was usually easy to refocus, redirect and no issues at night. She needed Rx for the UTI AND more anti-anxiety - had to fight doc for that as it is a "fall risk". Better a tumble than her raving around trying to get out! Was not really overnight though. About 1/2 hour after taking it she would go off to bed.
She has it available for "as needed" only now. The begging brother to take her back to the condo changed about 9 - 10 months (Nov 2017) later to asking for a ride to her mother's. She has forgotten the condo, and has tied her previous residence to her mother (and more recently to her father too! Both gone 40 and 50 years ago.) What generally works is to brush it off today (too late, not on my way, etc) and suggest tomorrow, which she okays and then forgets.
If you could ensure mom is not sleeping during the day and perhaps get a low dose anti-anxiety to be given in the later evening, perhaps it might help? I am also not a fan of meds, but in this case it has worked and she does not take it all the time. Also, if mom's move was recent, it will take some time. As others have said, the "professionals" should know how to deal with this. Some places and/or staff are not so good at it...
More detail from them would be good. Is she sleeping during the day too much? If so, they should be engaging her in some activities. That's their job! If not, if it has only been a short while since moving in, she may need some mild meds to calm her and allow the transition to happen. If none of the above applies, it would not hurt to try the anti-anxiety meds - mom didn't need two weeks to have it kick in, like some medications. It (Lorazipam) works like a charm even if she only needs it once in a while. NOTE: if this is tried and seems to be working, but then she has some kind of melt down, suspect UTI. Mom was fine after the initial adjustment and then became out of control much later (like someone else said, they called and asked me to come up - what good would that do, I have never dealt with her like that!) It is one of the arguments I used to get doc to restore the order, because it generally happens at night when they are not available and in the first instance it was on a Friday, so we had NO HELP all weekend to keep her in check!!! THAT was due to the UTI, found on Monday and she needed the anti-anxiety for nighttime for about a week during treatment for the UTI.
So, get more details from the DON about what is going on. Just saying she is disruptive at night does not give you the complete picture. Then discuss a plan of action with them and/or her doctor.
When my mother in law went into the home. I stayed with her until she went to sleep for the night. It helped her adjust. After 2 weeks, she was better.
It is hard to see them cry and beg to come home. My Mom did that once. So, one of the staff called me and put her on the phone. And she sobbed and cried it was horrible. For them to put you through that is wrong. I told the girl to give my Mom something to calm her down and talk to her or something. It s their job. To this day I hear my Mother cry and it breaks my heart.
Dear Segoline, You know I forgot to say my mama got kicked out of memory care at the first place. She also was sent 3 times to a behavioural hospital from there. This also turned out to be a wonderful blessing. She is on some low dose meds that have really helped her. I was very against drugs but nobody wants a parent unhappy either all the time. Some circumstances and people just call for them. My mama was a toddler class Sunday School teacher for 50 years. I try to think of what she used to say.....This too shall pass!
Well my dear Mama has not given up wanting to go home from hospital to memory care. This has been going on for a very long time. Everytime I go visit that is the first thing she wants from me. Redirect over and over,Change the subject, meds etc. It is only the evening sundowning that is so bad. She walks by herself but turns into a fall risk with too many meds. The new MC is much better at keeping her active in the day and better at redirecting her. When she says she wants to go home, it is not the home she lived in with my daddy for 50 years but her childhood home. She wants her brothers and sisters. They have all passed away as she was the baby. You will read all of these same problems in here over and over. I still get calls but not near as many now. But when it is happening to you and yours it seems so awful doesn't it? My mama lived at every nurses station every place she went! Just wanted you to know you are not alone here! Grace and Peace for all of us in this New Year.
Same thing here. Used to get calls at 3am. The other residents on her floor all had to close their doors so as not to hear her yelling! Some nurses were better at calming her down then others. One in particular calmly took my mother with her and had her sit at the nurses station for a few hours before returning her to her room. I stayed there a few nights a week to be a familiar face and even brought in her former at home caregivers. After much discussion with her doctor they decided a mild anti-anxiety med might help. Took about 2 weeks to kick in but she’s much calmer now. Still not an all night sleeper but no more calls in the middle of the night.
I agree that they need to come up with a solution. This is not uncommon for NH patients. The nursing home called me late one night and told me mom was in the hall crying very loud and they could not get her to go back to her room. I told them that if I came to the NH she would not listen to me which is true. I told them to tell her that they called me and that I would be there tomorrow to speak to her. Apparently, she then went to her room and to bed. The next day she did not remember it happening. They called again last night and said she was ringing the call bell continually because she thought it was calling me. I told them to tell her the same thing. So maybe she just needs reassurance. They could tell her something similar. Also, if you speak with the doctor they can give her non narcotic meds that will chill her out. My mother was getting very aggressive when I visited. She was verbally abusive and would throw things. The doctor prescribed medicine to calm her down. She still has moments, but not as many.
when they sleep all day, they will sundown at night. I keep my mom awake during the day and she does indeed sleep all night even with her end-stage Alzheimer's. and she is not on a single psychotropic or narcotic.
That happens. The people sometimes don't know where they are or won't give up on wanting to go home. Imagine having so little control over your life. Anyone would be upset. My mom has been found on a couch in the common living space at 2 am, sleeping curled with the stuffed animal she brought along from her room. And yesterday another lady wandered into my mom's room while I was there. She stayed and chatted with us and obviously had no idea where she was or how to get back to her own room. It was cute, but sad. One lady kept convincing my mom to take off down the street with her to get wine. If your mom disrupts, the care givers will have to come up with ways to calm her. That's their job. It may go on for a while, but she will eventually forget and be at home there.
The night nurse at rehab enlisted DW's help in rolling another patient around the facility. Under direct and hands on supervision. Wife thought she was doing a good thing and the nurse was able to deal with two disruptive patients at the same time. The nurse actually did most of the pushing and changes in direction. Both patients became calm and went to bed happy, nurse got her work done and was happy also. Some nurses are really creative while still being nurses.
Then they have to solve the problem. Ask that she be given a sleeping pill or anxiety meds. A DON can contact the Doctor affiliated with the facility and have him prescribe something. This is why she is in MC.
The DON may have just be keeping you up on Moms care. They are the professions and should be able to solve problems. This is not unusual with a Dementia patient.
She has it available for "as needed" only now. The begging brother to take her back to the condo changed about 9 - 10 months (Nov 2017) later to asking for a ride to her mother's. She has forgotten the condo, and has tied her previous residence to her mother (and more recently to her father too! Both gone 40 and 50 years ago.) What generally works is to brush it off today (too late, not on my way, etc) and suggest tomorrow, which she okays and then forgets.
If you could ensure mom is not sleeping during the day and perhaps get a low dose anti-anxiety to be given in the later evening, perhaps it might help? I am also not a fan of meds, but in this case it has worked and she does not take it all the time. Also, if mom's move was recent, it will take some time. As others have said, the "professionals" should know how to deal with this. Some places and/or staff are not so good at it...
More detail from them would be good. Is she sleeping during the day too much? If so, they should be engaging her in some activities. That's their job! If not, if it has only been a short while since moving in, she may need some mild meds to calm her and allow the transition to happen. If none of the above applies, it would not hurt to try the anti-anxiety meds - mom didn't need two weeks to have it kick in, like some medications. It (Lorazipam) works like a charm even if she only needs it once in a while. NOTE: if this is tried and seems to be working, but then she has some kind of melt down, suspect UTI. Mom was fine after the initial adjustment and then became out of control much later (like someone else said, they called and asked me to come up - what good would that do, I have never dealt with her like that!) It is one of the arguments I used to get doc to restore the order, because it generally happens at night when they are not available and in the first instance it was on a Friday, so we had NO HELP all weekend to keep her in check!!! THAT was due to the UTI, found on Monday and she needed the anti-anxiety for nighttime for about a week during treatment for the UTI.
So, get more details from the DON about what is going on. Just saying she is disruptive at night does not give you the complete picture. Then discuss a plan of action with them and/or her doctor.
You know I forgot to say my mama got kicked out of memory care at the first place. She also was sent 3 times to a behavioural hospital from there. This also turned out to be a wonderful blessing. She is on some low dose meds that have really helped her. I was very against drugs but nobody wants a parent unhappy either all the time. Some circumstances and people just call for them. My mama was a toddler class Sunday School teacher for 50 years. I try to think of what she used to say.....This too shall pass!
Both patients became calm and went to bed happy, nurse got her work done and was happy also.
Some nurses are really creative while still being nurses.
The DON may have just be keeping you up on Moms care. They are the professions and should be able to solve problems. This is not unusual with a Dementia patient.