I have been an unpaid family caregiver for 10 years. I have been subject to continuous gaslighting and abuse. I have been threatened with imprisonment, intimidated, manipulated and intentionally kept poor as a means of control.
I cared for my mother with cancer and dementia for 8 years until she passed. I had also been caring for my father at the same time through his insistance. When mom passed 2 years ago I said no more, I won't take care of dad, it's my rich nurse sister's turn. I went from working full time AND caring for 2 people, to working part time and finally now disabled and not working. My dad is very demanding of me and not of anyone else. I have lost everything, absolutely everything yet he says he wants to kill himself anytime I want to break free. I got him a therapist, I call hotlines when it's bad, I intervene to try to find help for him. Last week same song and dance. I said, dad, you aren't the only one who wants to die. He didn't miss a beat, he said don't, don't do it until after I die.
This explains also why he doesn't care about my ability to survive in my old age. He figures I won't have one. My narcissistic sister is VERY abusive. She was to my mother as well, even with dementia she would call and verbally abuse her. My father did nothing to stop this. He has said he doesn't want to piss her off because if everyones money is gone he will need her.
This is not the first time he has shown he doesn't care not even a little for my well being.
We had a hurricane a while back, I told him to go with my sister as she is 45-50 miles further inland from the coast. When the hurricane was hitting I called to check on him. I got through. He was fine, he asked about my house, I said it's pitch black outside and the water is starting to come in the house. He said ok, call you later. He waited over 5 days to call, and had a list of things for me to do for him once we spoke. People drowned and were electrocuted not far from me. Yet he couldn't be bothered. He said he was snacking and watching old movies when tv went out. He never gave me a second thought.
Tomorrow I call Dept if Aging and tell them, I have been an unpaid caregiver for 10 years. I have been abused for 10 years and I won't do this anymore.
Are there any pitfalls I am not thinking of involving the Dept. of Aging?