Is obsessive compulsive behavior common for the elderly and how do caregivers help and cope?

My mother shares a lot of these traits, OldestDaughter1. As you describe, information overload and obsessing about that is very typical but I sometimes wonder if that is a way of trying to hold on to information when so much is so easily forgotten? I also don't know if this behavior is attributable to the aging process or more an exaggeration of the person's lifelong tendency to some OCD....this is definitely the situation in my mother's case. "Things" always have to be/look "just so" and that always causes a problem with reminder notes that I try to leave visible on her table....she doesn't like the way the table looks so moves or puts them in a drawer and then has no idea where they went. As I write this it sounds like your mother's additional behavior of cutting up papers, plastic bottles, etc. and re-arranging your fridge are another form of just trying to keep some additional order in her life when she feels she is losing this. I'm not sure if I have any real answers for you other than to realize the behavior is unlikely to change but this is an excellent forum to vent and garner support for all that we collectively deal with. Good luck and hugs for support.

I'm pretty sure it is all part of the aging process. As long as your Mom isn't really hurting anyone, it might be best to just roll with it. If anything it is helping her keep in touch with normal things she used to do and if nothing more, gives her self something TO do. In a restaurant, my MIL refuses to put her coffee cup on the paper placemat because she doesn't want to get it dirty (???); she will fold her napkin very thickly and put her cup on that. Of course, not balanced properly it slops over and we have to have her area cleaned up. After a couple of times she stops. At first I'd get upset, then realized this was a 'cycle' she had to go through. I bless the wait staff, they see us coming and stand waiting for her to do this, help clean up and distract her with her meal so she doesn't do a repeat. We even time the coffee so she only upsets it once. Amazing how the mind works!

I've wondered that as well. My Mom (85) is obsessed with order and cleanliness. Shes been reorganizing my refrigerator and pantry since I moved out of her house. She's always been like that, but now things are exaggerated. And now that she can no longer do things for herself, I wonder if I should do them for her, or just tell her to live with it. For example, the bath mat must be placed with the tag down. If you do it wrong, it's now dirty and must be put in the laundry hamper. Or the toilet paper must be folded into six squares before its used. Lots of yelling screaming and crying when I refuse to do these things for her.

She's now in a nursing home and they do things though that would bother me as well. For example they put her shoes on the bed, or the toilet bowl brush on the sink. Yuck.

I think it has something to do with control and the lack of control that they now have in their lives.

I'm curious about what others will say.

I find that my father, age 93, has set himself up in a routine. I truly believe it's because he realizes that his memory is not what it was and by doing the sameon a daily basis, it helps him to feel that he's remembering. He takes many medications so he has legal pad after legal pad filled out with the name of the medication, the date and the time it was taken. I see myself doing little things repetitively that I didn't do before. I truly feel that it's a part of the aging process. He saves plastic bags from the store. They're piled on a kitchen chair. He says he uses them for his garbage, well, I'm sure he does, but does he need 100? It's not harming him or anyone else so I let it be. Sometimes you have to pick and choose your battles with them.

Recalling my own 90 year old mother's obsessive behaviors has helped me to monitor my own at age 68. My mother's diagnosis is dementia with Frontal/Temporal disintegration, so there are firm causes. I believe my "neat and clean" impulses are age related and involve being retired without enough outside focus. At this stage of life having things "just so" has become a fulfillment. And yes, I volunteer and belong to a Book Club.

YES its as they lose the ability to look global at things so focus on the small nitty gritty. sometimes some happy pills help to smooth the really OTT states, Ive noted my Ma has improved, but she still packs up everything and rearranges the room at the rest home EVERY day..

LittleBird you're a saint! :-)

My mom is 86 and obsesses over the thought of not reading something. Therefore, she cannot through any any mail, especially junk mail. The table is piled high and when the piles fall over, she puts them in a bag and starts a new pile. Hoarding of sorts. Then the bags pile up. It makes me crazy! But I can't stop the behavior. She recognizes it but does nothing to change. We've had many heated discussions over it but it's not worth it. When she dies or moves, I'll just throw it all away. Too bad I have to wait for that. She is also has OCD with bags, any kind of bags, paper, plastic, gift bags. She now has "bags of bags" in her only closet.

Just be as kind as you can.............Your turn is coming...!!! I am on my way too and I am learning....it is not easy....but I keep thinking..WHAT I PUT out into the world..will come back to me....SO I am trying...REALLY...I did not start out with this frame of MIND...I wanted to RUN FAR AWAY....but I am coping..learning..and hurting..as I watch my husband ...fade away..day by day..I was so angry...that this is happening..but It is better to have him in any capacity....than for him to be dead......I do not want to be left all alone..

My 94 yr old mom has the OCD problem especially with regard to dates/events. Birthdays, doc appts, etc. She started going down that dark road at age 90. It got so bad we had to take away her calendar. She still asks for it but not with the gripping anxiety she used to suffer. The reason for this: her psycho/behaviorist comes to visit her in her memory care facility once a month, and his main job is to monitor her behavior and adjust her meds accordingly. Her meds are: lorazepam, citalopram, and 2 others for dementia. The first two have really helped to make her more relaxed and content, and that is all we could ever hope for.