My mother has been emotionally abusive toward me since I was a teenager. I left home at 18, borrowed money for college, and moved several states away from my parents. My mother pursued me (she once drove to visit me at school and actually kidnapped me, driving me back to her home) but every time I had anything to do with her or went to visit, things quickly deteriorated into criticism of my career, my appearance, my finances, my interests, my friends, and, eventually, my husband. Understandably, over the years I have told my mother less and less about my life. To my shock, when she was 70 she moved halfway across the country to the city where I live and rented a condominium there. She was offended not to be given a key to my house, though when I invited her over it was constant criticism of my furniture and my housekeeping and how I was wasting money. She would invite me to her place and ask me not to bring my husband (who I love very much) because "he makes her sick to her stomach." The only reason had any contact with her was because I wanted to see my father, whose life she controlled. After my father died, there was about a year when we got along. Then the complaints about what a terrible daughter I was started up again. Fortunately, she then bought a condo in Arizona and moved there to be closer to some friends. I now visit her four times a year, during which time she criticizes me (often in front of other people) and urges me to divorce my husband "because he's a loser." He is amazingly patient will all of this, even though this means that all of my vacation time from work is spent with my mom — he and I make do with long weekends. My husband and I both went part-time last year and are semi-retired, but have hidden this from my mom because she is so critical of what she insists is our terrible financial situation. We are not rich, but have good careers, plenty of money, and a nice house with the mortgage paid off. When I tell her this, she demands to see our tax returns so she can see how much we make. That of course, is none of her business. I am tempted to just walk away from her now, while she is still healthy. She has plenty of retirement savings, so all she really needs from me is a target for her meanness. I've been to counseling, but am still not sure. My father, who I loved very much, would have wanted me to put up with her. Sometimes I tell myself that well, I only need to see her four weeks of the year and the rest of the time I can just pretend it's all a bad dream. I realize I'm fortunate compared with people who have mothers and mother-in-laws like her who end of moving in with them. Ideas?