My father in law did not want to die he wanted to get better. Although we knew he wouldn't get better we wanted every step taken to make sure he was treated but hospital told us he needed hospice. Being that my SO had never delt with anything like this he signed the paperwork that doctors gave him. Hospice required a DNR to be signed. My father in law had been ok for months. But when he became swollen they said they could do nothing. And being that we didnt know our options we went against our better judgement and listened to the nurses. Now they have him on morphine. And hes incompacitated. We feel like we are basically killing him.. Hes only 63
Its tough, and it is VERY VERY HARD.
No you are NOT KILLING HIM, do not feel guilty. I felt that way, but someone told me I am not God. Ya, I still feel guilty, but I am learning nobody is perfect, and no Body is perfect. Every Body is going to go at some point...My FIL when he got cancer would tell me that . He would always read the bible to his grandkids :)
Death may not sound ok, but sometimes it is. It may not be the right time for US, but for the person with a body that is not working correctly, it may be the right time.
Hospice is good, and so is the DNR. You do not want to prolong his suffering. It will be okay. Talk with him and see him as much as you can.
Neither you or hospice are killing him. He would die on the same time table regardless. Hospice is keeping him comfortable. Unfortunately, wanting to get better doesn't always work.