Nursing home facility restricts visitors but I’m mom’s POA? Any thoughts?

Image: Yes, of course measures had to be put in place to attempt to halt the spread of Novel Coronavirus. Please God - lift this virus from all of us globally. Amen. Thank you, God.

Bravo Cwillie!

And Image, we get it. You hate nursing homes and don’t trust the staff to provide proper care. That’s your prerogative. But please take that agenda elsewhere. You aren’t being the least bit helpful. We don’t need your negativity here especially at a time like this many here have loved ones in LTC that they cannot visit.

ImageIMP, you are busy making comments to posts that are already well out of date, if you don't yet realize that we all need to STAY HOME then you are part of the problem and the reason harsher restrictions on all of us are inevitable.

most of us dealing with elderly or family cases in nursing home are doing the same-lockdown. sis with dementia lived in a difficult facility for the last 6 months-horrible treatment-injuries, scabies, lost 30 pounds.

lots of digging and frustration on my part to find a new place-discovered a nurse at that facility put note in a chart notation about me being a yelling angry person to her. NEVER HAPPENED! same nurse argued with neurology office about why we would not order more drugs to further mess up my sister. evil nurse notes which other potential faculty would see when reviewing sis chart. no wonder we got no thank you reply from several potential places.

Last Monday sis got accepted at a new place. I toured before corona but now I could only drop sis and suitcase off at the door. several conversations about sis crying non stop and we review meds with new place. omg last place messed up again-with sis depression meds. I called the last place to say what happed. nurse says chart is closed so I cant tell you. really now. New staff has been fabulous keeping me in the loop helping sis talk to me by phone a few times. I had been praying for a miracle placement and wanted to give up many times-the door slammed in my face. felt such a thing was not out there about 3 months into the search.

needless to say sis is very confused and scared and more messed up than before due to RX screw up by last place. I will be sending cards to sis they say they will deliver to sis and read for her to keep in touch in between calls. we did have a nice chat yesterday.

Sis did have a slid out of bed the first day-no injuries. I ask about safety measures and they agree to put a mat on the floor, some kind of hipster pads, and will keep sis out in the common area make sure she is comfortable under very trying circumstances. last place would have never done this ever for sis safety. I asked for same the first time sis fell there too. For now she is safe and we are too from corona.

To address some of the comments about taking visitor temps at the door, that accomplishes nothing safety-wise. Facilities have to assume you are asymptomatic and infected. You cannot know you are a carrier. If you had a test, it was only valid for that day and time. No virus cares if you are POA, only child, last living relative, or anything else. If you unknowingly infected one person in there, it could be a cascading disaster with many deaths. No facility has “extra” safety gear for us to waste on a visit. There’s a national shortage. None of the safety measures are comfortable for us. It’s not for us. It’s a sacrifice we have to make for them.

My dad's AL is in lockdown and he totally doesn't understand why his caregivers (we pay for outside care 3 days a week for 6 hours per day) are not there to take him places. They have been given permission by the care facility to be there because they understand he needs extra help but the service has elected not to send them. He is begging to return to his house (he still owns it) so he can be out and about again but that is absolutely not going to happen. I am his legal guardian and I believe I can be there but I can't do anything except stay in his room and having me there will want him to leave even more so I am staying away for now. Actually, and this might sound harsh, I need a break from him to focus on my own stuff. I know he is safe, eating well, and getting extra attention from the care staff so it will be OK.

Advocate for your loved one. The restrictions are necessary, but exceptions are made for those residents who are dying. My mother's nursing home is allowing me to visit. Protocols will be in place (e.g., temp taken; mask; gown). She will be in a single room near nursing station. Other visitors may come one at a time (others staying in their car or outside the building). Dignity and respect balanced with safety for staff and other residents; a large dose of common sense; and deep compassion prevails at the end of the day (or one's journey).

There are a lot of comments on "why can't they give me protective gear to wear so I can visit my family member".  There is a national shortage of protective gear like gloves and N95 masks, etc, because they are all manufactured in China.  Hospitals and first responders are rationing those items so they can be used when absolutely necessary.  There aren't extras to give to family members who want to visit.

I had to cancel my trip to California to see my Aunt in AL and I can't go see my Mother in AL 25 miles from me.
As hard as it is, by staying away we are not only protecting our loved ones, but everyone else's loved ones!
They are safe and sound where they are!
Having said that, I feel there should be exceptions (screening) for those who have loved ones that are End of Life!
God bless and hang in there!

Your love shines through your words here. Very difficult situation. Maybe they would let you visit if you totally suited up in protective gear? They just don't want an asymptomatic person bringing it into the facility. But you are no more likely to do that than staff is. After all, they are going home when their shift ends!

My dads in MC total lockdown now. I visited daily before but can’t go in now. As his POA I can request snacks and other things for him. I’m allowed to drop things off at the front door, too. This is so hard on all of us. Perhaps you can talk with admin and tell them your requests and they can takeover your kind care for awhile? I feel your frustration!

My mom's NH is on total lockdown now. Only essential staff, medical personnel, and vendors allowed in and they have to go through the checks before enteringthe resident area. No packages being allowed in. Visiting through the windows is discouraged as it scares some residents to have people wandering outside where they can see them. They are doing everything they can to accomodate phone calls, facetime and skype. Families had a conference call with the administrator and he was very knowledgable about the situation and did a good job answering questions and plans to keep connected with updates as they happen. Things are changing rapidly. More and more is becoming known about this virus, but there are still plenty of unknowns. We do know it can easly kill the elderly and those with compromised immune systems. I absolutely hate the idea that I can't visit with my mom, but I want her to be as safe as possible so I will use the means available to stay in touch and use my extra time to catch up on things around the house.

I saw someone mention on another site about people video chatting with parents, besides calling. I guess the staff sets it up for the resident probably.

We are all on the same boat and hurting deeply because of it. Keep in contact with staff.

I can relate 100% so sorry for you..We are having the same issue here in NY. Dad has dementia since 2011 we did homecare for 9 years.. Dad has only been in the facility since October Mom goes daily I go 1x a week and all day on weekends. We do everything the care people do as far as feed and entertain. We also had to be his advocates and push for action more times than I can count. Its group care which means 4 staff for 25 residents. All whom have needs and dementia or Alz. Mom is 76 and Dad is 78.5 They are understaffed, he cannot feed himself or understand what is going on, they have 25 other memory care residents, which is why we went daily and for his comfort and security. The workers pose the same threat ..my mom went so far as to be tested and then try to get a job there to see him that's how desperate she is! The ban could be as much as 6 weeks or more. We understand protection and prevention but then why can they not allow one immediate member to be screened daily and put through the same sanitizing routine? At my Dad place the workers feed, bathe and change,,do you think they haven't
grocery shopped after work or gotten gas or perhaps visited people? For families like ours this has been a nightmare. There is a big difference between a casual visitor and one who is the administering the care because the staff cannot always. I can only mentally hug you and pray for you and all who are going thru this. The families who provide the hands on one on one care. What others don't realize is people like my Dad and your Mom thrive with the care and familiar faces and we are not casual "lets go see Grandpa once a month" people. Huge difference!! And my Dad cannot talk on the phone or FaceTime..we call daily for reports and they say he is not eating and withdrawing. 😭😭.

There are over 3 million people in the US who are over 65 years old. If only 1% of that population gets the virus then 30,000 people would likely need medical attention. there are approximately 4100 ICU beds in the US. This is an adequate number normally, but it won't be for this. Social distancing is hard, but it can keep the spread slower and it will reduce the number of cases. Truth is that this age group has a far higher rate of serious complications and death. Every one of us is having to do hard things. It really hurts sometimes, but we do it.

I feel like they should separate the residents that are on hospice from the residents that are not sick or dying.  That way family could still visit the resident that is dying and not miss time with them, and that would remove the risk of a healthy resident catching something from the visitors.  I know that is probably easier said than done...

My mother's NH also has imposed restrictions with the exception of "essential" family member for residents who are actively dying. I happened to have a meeting to start Hospice for my mother today. I advocated for my mother and requested a special exception so I could be present and visit her while the Hospice eval was occurring. The nursing director granted my request; and my temp was taken; and I donned a surgical mask and gown and visited with my mother for 15 minutes. Her condition took a nose-dive over the past week, and we believe she had a stroke. She is not eating her pureed meals, and she has dysphagia and "pockets" food in her cheek; unable to take her oral medicines. So in this situation, I was granted an exception. Meanwhile, I will contact the NH and get a "report" from the floor nurse on my mother's condition; and Hospice will keep me informed; and I will try to have phone conversations or Face Time with my mother. I work in a hospital and understand the restrictions. The exceptions can be made on a case by case basis depending on the situation.

newnormal2, I am right with you! My precious Mom had a stroke and just recently started talking again. Even though I'm a 2-hour drive away from her, I visit her often and we have so much fun together. This morning I was kicked out of the nursing home rehab facility. I understand the need to protect the residents, but Mom is new there and will be so lonely without her visitors. I cried when I left her, only had a few minutes to say good-bye.

As long as we are not showing symptoms, I wish the nursing homes would allow us to wear protective clothing, and even particulate masks, to be able to go in and visit our loved ones. It would do so much to raise their spirits.

I left Mom's old cell phone and charger in her room, along with a list of family and friends, and asked staff members to help her call us. Even though your mother cannot talk much, it will help her just to hear your voice, and you can tell her all about what's going on in your life.

We will have to keep hoping that this situation won't last long! All the best to you.

My mother's assisted living facility sent out an email tonight saying visitors are not being allowed now. I was there yesterday and they took my temperature before allowing me in. I get that they are being super cautious but think it may be a little too far. It isn't a nursing home. I called to be sure we can still pick mom up tomorrow for her birthday lunch. Thankfully they can't lock them in even if they are discouraging outings.

Our elderly LOs are at the greatest risk for death from Co-vid19.
Better safe than sorry!

The restrictions are not law. They are suggested. They make sense. Not sure a nursing home can keep you out. Even if it’s a good idea to help restrict the virus from spreading..anyone know more?

I see varying levels of optimism here, but I wouldn't be surprised if this policy lasted for several weeks or even a few months. Considering that this disease can have a two-week incubation period with the possibility of being contagious even before symptoms show, it seems likely that many cases will pop up around the US (and probably at least several other countries where it hasn't happened yet). Having said that, it would seem to follow that restrictions just now put into place would have to be continued while this pandemic unfolds. I'm not trying to be pessimistic of depressing, but rather realistic.

Yesterday I read something to the effect that mortality rates in those over 80 y/o can be as high as 15%--and that age group, of course, includes a huge percentage of the residents of most nursing homes--and those that are younger are probably there due to health issues that may compromise their resistance to this disease.

Today I went to visit my mother (95), and the front door of the nursing home didn't swing open as it usually does, and there was a sign that only essential individuals would be allowed. My mother would be incapable of hearing a telephone call or even remembering if I called. I thought of standing outside her window with an "I LOVE YOU" sign, but the blinds are usually closed, and it would probably tax the staff to call them and expect them to open the blinds and prop her up to see out the window (the facility has only one floor)--and perhaps she would even find this depressing because it would remind her that I can't visit. (I doubt she is even aware of the policy unless the staff is wearing masks and explains it to her.) She tells how she almost died of measles at age 7, so if it were explained to her in those terms, it would probably make more of an impression.

Keep in mind that you could have been exposed to someone who will get the virus but doesn’t show symptoms yet. You would go into the NH and infect those there, even if you are not yet sick. It’s not worth it.

The restrictions were put in place due to COVID-19, aka, Corona Virus. President Trump put in place a National Emergency today.

The restrictions are for corona virus which your mom will be very susceptible to having the worst case. The biggest worries for residential facilities is that staff or visitors will pass the virus on to their clients and that will cause a major outbreak among the very susceptible population. They can teach staff proper hygiene and disease control - not so much with visitors. So the visitors must stay out until the local outbreak is not longer an issue. Maybe you can call the facility and arrange to "visit" through a window while calling her on your cellphone.

My mother, 92, is in a nursing facility here in Mississippi under hospice care. Twice in the past two weeks they told us to prepare to say good bye. We have been staying with her around the clock. Now, we can’t visit. She cannot use the call button or her cell phone to contact anyone. She can’t pick up her water glass if she’s thirsty. She has moments of lucidity and I’m sure wonders what’s happening. I’m so sorry, I did not mean to make this about me but it hit so close to home. I feel there should be special exceptions in cases like ours. I’m so sorry for your circumstances and hope this ban on visitors doesn’t last very long.

The nursing home staff must love this. Some didn't seem too happy when I used to stop in to see my mom in rehab each day for a short time. On the other hand they didn't seem to mind if I changed her or made up the bed, relieving them of some work. I always wondered why the scowling when family and visitors came in to see residents there. I wonder if family can drop off any snacks or supplies, and if the resident would even get them. I hope most caregivers here can trust the nursing home their loved one is in. Only one out of the three my mom was in for rehab stints was trustworthy.

The CDC and local board of health shut down visiting. This is the best thing, as no one knows who is sick. That's what caused all those deaths in the nursing home in Washington state. It kills elderly very easily as they are fragile and immune system are weakened.

I am going through the same situation with my mom who goes in and out of moments of dementia BUT also hard of hearing. She just called me wanted to know when I am coming up to see her. It's just very hard to explain it to her as I tell to her on phone and she hears every other word. But I know she is I good hands as they call me every day. I am the POA also, but there is no decisions that I need to make now on her behalf.