Has anyone ever dealt with a NH dumping their parent to another facility because they became too difficult to handle?

I think you need to have a meeting with the Director of Nursing to find out EXACTLY why mom is such trouble. Is she combative? Does she continually try to get up by herself? Exactly what is going on?

If it is because she is a high fall risk, then find a nursing home with a public dining room in the middle of the action. A newer facility is a likely candidate. Then it's wheelchair to the dining table, tucked under and locked. The patient then can't get up. Look for a facility that uses the dining room as a common room -- it'll have a big screen and they'll use it for activities.

In many states, nursing home patients cannot be restrained with a safety belt or food tray to keep them from injuring themselves. In SOME states with that restriction, a doctor can prescribe restraint. Find out if your state is one of those from that nursing home meeting.

I wish you success.

My mom became combative and frankly, very wild. The unit she was on absolutely could not handle her, nor should they be expected to. During a psychotic (wild) episode, she was taken to the ER, then a geriatric psych unit for 5 days to get her meds adjusted. Best thing that ever happened to her. The skilled nursing unit was not built or intended to handle problem patients.

This was procedure, not dumping.

She required a secure/locked unit because she was an escape risk, so she came back to a special dementia unit instead of the skilled nursing unit she had been in.
The whole facility in that unit is built for dementia patients with behavioral problems. The staff are trained for it. They aren't considered a problem in that area because that's what it's for.

There are dementia patients *not* in that unit because they don't have the behavioral problems that put themselves and other patients in danger.

Mom's geriatric psychs were miracle workers. In 5 days they got her down from being absolutely wild & out of control to being pleasant. Her permanent dosage is somewhere in between those two levels. It controls her anger, paranoia, and the violent behaviors that go with all that.

Not every nursing home or skilled nursing unit is setup to handle difficult dementia patients. And you can't know if you're going to be one or have one until it's happening.

We had a similar situation with my mom. I was getting calls early in the morning while my kids were still in bed from nurses saying my mother was up all night pestering the nurses and they couldn't get their work done. I thought taking care of my mother was their job. Within a week they called to say she had escaped from the secure memory care unit and I was to come collect her immediately, that they would no longer take care of her. I had two young children and couldn't just leave immediately. It took a few hours to find another NH to take her. It was an extremely stressful experience. Sorry you're having to deal with people who aren't interested in taking care of your mom. God bless you through this.

I have had a similar situation and I empathize. My then 94 year old Mom who has pretty advanced dementia had lost a lot of her ability to articulate her thoughts appropriately. One day she woke up and the first thing she said was "If I had a gun I kill myself and shoot the man." Heaven knows where that came from since my mother is probably the most gentle person I've ever known. But, according to state law, when someone says something regarding hurting themselves or others, a psychiatrist has to be called in. I was aware that a psychiatrist was going to evaluate her but was reassured by the nurse that it was just procedure so I felt relieved and thought all was well. The psychiatrist, who evaluated her in the evening when her dementia was most prominent, told the facility that she was depressed and needed 24 hour supervision. Later that day I got a call from someone at the facility who did not make it clear who she was or what her position was. I later learned she was the facility administrator. She told me my mother had to be supervised 24/7 and either I could had to do it immediately or I had to get someone to do it. If I was not able to not comply, they would move my mother to a psychiatric facility some miles away while they got her meds adjusted. I could only imagine how frightened my mother would be if they moved her. Fortunately, the social worker at the facility was kind enough to walk me through the process and put in touch with an agency that provided one on one care. It was fairly expensive ($18/hour) but even after she was deemed ok, I continued the care during the day twice a week so she could have companionship. I suggest talking to the facility's social worker to help find a home health care person. Secondly, make sure any psychiatric eval is done when Mom is at her best. Once, psychiatrist saw Mom in the morning when she was smiling and cheery, he realized she was fine. Talk to whomever you feel you need to at the facility. I finally felt I had to talk to the facility admin's boss in order to really be heard. Once that happened, attitudes seemed to shift and I felt the situation to be more stable. I truly understand how frightened you are and wish you the best.

I don't have any better answers than the ones provided. Contact the ombudsman and have them attend meeting with you. Also the fraud dept of medicare and medicaid investigates and PROSECUTES cases of abuse and neglect. I would get them involved. Mostly, I responded because all day I have been struggling with that question with regard to my mom and her facility. How can a dementia unit not be able to adequately care for those with dementia, and, that being true, why the h*ll are they taking our money. I'd move my mother in a minute, but she's in the only dementia unit in our county with a guaranteed private room. She's lost so much to this disease, she at least deserves her own small room with dresser and twin bed. God help me, I fight on. Have resorted to taking care of a lot of her needs myself. She's "resistant to care" as they say, which I think is bs. She just needs a gentle touch, not some hurried, underpaid stranger telling her to get naked for the shower,

Thanks everyone for your kind words and advice. Mom is currently in a Senior Transition Unit (geriatric psych ward). When admitted to the hospital, she was severely dehydrated and they discovered the nursing had not been giving administering her thyroid meds. I do not know why YET, they were not giving her this medication. Her thyroid was so out of wack and combined with the dehydration put her in a mass state of confusion. After she was hydrated and they got her thyroid under control, she is very calm without adjusting any of her meds. We actually were able to communicate with her.

Also, nursing homes are required by law to give you 30 days notice of intent to discharge. During that 30 days,you have the right to appeal. Again, your ombudsperson can give you the details.

UPDATE…Mom was sent to a geriatric psych facility. She was calm for awhile and returned to the nursing home. Her condition deteriorated quickly and she became combative again. At that point, we called Hospice, as not only her mood changed, so did her physical condition. She easily qualified for hospice care. They came to the nursing and took over. All unnecessary meds were removed and they took over her medication therapy. The nursing home was no longer permitted to ship her off to an emergency room when she became difficult without the hospice teams consent and had it been necessary, the hospice team would have made the arrangements to send her to the hospital. They were able to assist in keeping her calm. Honestly, they were wonderful. Mom passed quietly in her sleep last night. Her torment is over and finally she has peace. To those of you who commented on this thread, thank you so much for your support. And to those of you who have a loved one and are still dealing with this horrific disease, my heart is with you, I truly know what you are going through. Again, thank you all.

I think the word JoAnn was looking for is "Ombudsman". If so, it's pronounced like "AHM-buds-mun". It means a patient advocate and I think most states have one and, if so, the nursing home may be required to have a notice posted somewhere with this person's photo and contact information, usually in the state capitol. Your local "office on aging" (or similar title) can also tell you if your state -- or even county -- has such a person. That person's job is to investigate complaints and to advocate for the patient. I just can't imagine what our family would do if our Mom were to be treated this way; I'm sure you are frantic and I am so sorry for your troubles. I will pray that you find someone "official" to stand with you through to a resolution on behalf of your Mom. Angels watch over you all!

I am disagreeing with most of what is said here. Taking someone who is combative to the ER is not unreasonable. Sometimes there a physical things, like urinary track infection, electrolytes imbalances, etc that can cause psychotic features. These need to be checked out. Also, a geriatric psychiatric unit can be VERY helpful in adjusting medications. I think psychiatrists are the best at getting medications right and one who specializes in geriatrics is very appropriate with a person who has forms of dementia.

Most long term care facilities try really hard to care for their patients. It can be very difficult both physically and mentally on these care givers, and most need to be applauded. In the case of PAcaretaker, if you really feel the facility was neglectful, feel free to take legal action, and of course, you don't want your mother there anyway. There are good facilities with good people working in them, you just need to keep looking, as they are out there. I am in the midwest of USA, maybe facilities are better here than else where. I can only speak from my experiences in this area.