Now what?

Sandy, I am glad that you had some respite time, but obviously that wasn't enough. Who arranged the respite? Does Mom have a case worker or social worker or someone from an agency involved in her care?

When you are so thoroughly burned out then any issue that pops up can seem like a huge crisis. We get that! Moths are unpleasant, but I'll bet 14 years ago you could have coped with that without feeling overwhelmed.

Sandy, this is not your fault. You are not doing something wrong. But you do need help for yourself. Are you seeing a counselor or therapist? That might be a good place to start.

I understand that you don't have the energy to tell us the full situation. For now, know that many people on the forum are thinking about you and wishing you well. When you can write a little more perhaps someone will have specific suggestions for you.

Hang in there!

Sandy, hang in yhere! Hope you can tell us the more detailed version soon, at least in bits and pieces. There are some terrific problem solvers on this site!

Where do you not belong anymore and do not want to be at? This forum or earth? You truly sound depressed and I'm sure there's good reason. Please see a doctor and, if it can be arranged, a therapist. Some people find that to be helpful.

I totally get it that a week wasn't long enough to get everything done. That's like when my husband takes a week from work and I have two weeks worth of honey-do's. I just have to prioritize and compromise, as difficult as that is.

If she cannot afford the nursing home, is there any way that she would qualify for Medicaid? Well, vent here anytime you have a chance. Wish I could help you with the moths. Every now and again we get fruit flies that just drive me insane. Best wishes.

Some moths are cereal eaters. Look in the cupboard for some really old grain products. Maybe an old bag of flour. They also munch on dried flower arrangements.

I get moths that come from sunflower seeds and bird food. We're fortunate not to have the clothes eating type here.

sandy, have you considered going to the ER yourself, maybe sign yourself in for evaluation? It does sound to me that you are very near the edge and you could use some help. I wouldn't consider any more caregiving until you can get a good handle on life again. It sounds like it is time to hand over the caregiver reins to someone else. Call family or a county worker and let them know that your health will not let you do it anymore. Then take care of yourself.

You will probably tell yourself that if you don't do something, then who will? You might imagine that there is no one. However, in the US you cannot be forced into labor against your will. There are always other options. You just have to say that you can't do it anymore and let other people step in.

I can tell that you need help with your anxiety, depression, and frantic feelings. Concentrate on getting that help and let someone else take care of your mother. I have the feeling you are presently not able to do it.

BTW, if you can't find a place that will accept her, let the county find a place that will. Then concentrate on you.

Dear Sandy, You belong here.We all get that feeling that we're losing our mind.
Let's deal with the moth problem first:
Moth's lay eggs.
The eggs are often spread by your vacuum so you have to change the bag or empty the container every time you use it.
Closets, drawers etc where moth's have been found should be emptied and all articles washed and stored in sealed plastic bags.
Once your drawers, closets are empty give them a thorough wash down (cracks and dirt collecting crevices especially) and then .....moth balls (dollar store) lemon verbena, mint ( garden variety) or other will help keep them away.
Unused, seldom used clothing are usually the favorite spots for moth's for moth's looking to raise a family.Start with those articles and storage areas first.
You rarely find them on clothing,bedding etc. that is used / washed regularly.
The best advice is a deep cleaning of your home. A lot more work for you but once it's done you can put that aside and concentrate on the other matter of getting little relief from caregiving.
I'm home with mom (94) 24/7. I work caregiving for her 16 hours a day.
I know how you feel.What I do is from 11 PM to 3 AM play a virtual game called Sims.It clears my mind totally.
Perhaps there is something you enjoy? Reading, chatting online with friends?
Even an hour "virtually" away from your situation can refresh your spirits.
Last but not least remember; nobody lives forever even if it seems so.
While you are caregiver plan your future.Life will be waiting for you,no worries.