Is it wrong not to want to celebrate a birthday after Mom passed away? - AgingCare.com

Is it wrong not to want to celebrate a birthday after Mom passed away?

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I am generally all about birthday celebrations, after all it is your day, the only one you really get! Mom passed almost 2 years ago. I don't want to even acknowledge my birthday anymore.Is that wrong? I don't want to upset anyone. Luckily this year no one is around except for my wife so I can do low key. Its not that I am depressed, I just feel weird about it. Mom always made birthdays fun, even as an adult I would get an extra card from mom just from her besides the obligatory one from both. I used to buy mom flowers on my birthday. Is this normal?

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I've never enjoyed celebrating my birthday. I come from a big, rambunctious family. I really had no choice. It was like being run down by a big tidal wave. So I just endured it when I was young. The family just wanted an excuse to act silly and have cake. So be it.

My Mom and I had a special bond. When I became an adult her and I would go out for Lunch and she would shyly hand me a card with money in it. We'd go browsing through the mall looking for something I could buy with the money. It makes me tear up just thinking about it. She was so special.

She died a little over a year ago and I miss those special afternoons. I am sort of ambivalent about the whole birthday thing now.
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For the Surprise party we arranged the rental from Abbey Entertainments Toronto...Was Really Great
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My dad passed away long back when I was 12, After my dad's death, my mom was too sad. Since it's her 55th birthday this is the first time we are planning to celebrate her Birthday after my dad's death. For me, my mom is next to god. She is celebrating her 55th Birthday on next month. I am planning to make her day special. I wish to arrange a DJ surprise party.
As a personal gift, I made an album which shows small photographs of the members of our family She loves chocolates, I think candy bouquet works where I can mix the flowers and candy. I wish to make her day special. Please help me with your suggestions to make her day
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My sister Geri died 2 years ago she was 49 of sudden cardiac death. It's just mom and I now and I celebrate mom she's 79 with Alzehemiers , but I don't celebrate mine anymore . Geri made life fun , since she died I don't want to celebrate. For Geri's birthday I sent pink balloons to heaven I wrote on them I miss her . I am so sad without my BFF
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I feel the same way, very very sad today on my birthday, because my mom passed jan 4, 2014... The feelings you have a very normal, and I am sorry we are so sad... they say grief has no timeline.. and comes and goes like the tides of an ocean...
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It was low key, just my wife and I. Went out to lunch and out for a drink later. Got to see our girls over the weekend so that made it all better. A couple friends asked how I got it past them. Just was better that way......... Good to have some quiet.
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Glad you have it a shot and enjoyed your day. Happy birthday 🍷
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It wasn't bad, I had a few things to keep me busy. My wife and I went out for diner, just chilled for the day. Went out for a cocktail later. So it was good. Low key was good this year. Some friends commented on how I got it past them this year....
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It is just as important to receive as give. Maybe you can do something to honor your mom on your birthday, like plant a flower, tree, visit a grave, etc. but a small celebration from those who love you would be nice for them too.
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It's normal for me, but I'm a depressive. I loathe my birthdays, and I especially loathe them when my kids make an effort for me because then I feel ungrateful and cruel and mean on top.

So if you have always celebrated your day, and enjoyed it not only because your mother made it very special for you, then I'd say for you no it isn't normal and it sounds like an aspect of depression. You do, do you not, have things to be depressed about - your mother's having passed, the changes in your father, the feeling that you're in for a long, heavy haul, and so on?

Low key sounds a good way to spend the day, but try to enjoy it in some small way. Perhaps, if you do this sort of thing, you could have a private word with your mother early on in the day and tell her you wish she were there to share it. After that, see how you feel about Thanksgiving and later on Christmas. And if you're not getting back into the spirit of things, or you're getting lower and lower in mood, it might be time to seek advice.
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