No one really knows when God will call us home but watching my mother this last week, I believe that her time is near.
Certainly I am running the gamut of emotions as one would expect. I anticipate a lot of the stress will be alleviated as well as some of the added physical challenges I face, being a caregiver with my own disabilities.
However watching my mother fade away like this is horrific and I just want her suffering to end, I'm not 57 anymore; at this time I am that little girl who put on her mommy's jewelry, the teenager who was more than a handful now hoping I have made up for the pain I caused during those years. The bride-to-be picking out a wedding gown, wanting to see that pride & joy in her mom's eyes.
I caress her head and recall the many costumes made by her hands for all of us kids. The countless meals made from scratch. She's still cooking in her dreams and in her 'visions'.
I recall what a good daughter she was, & what a great mother she is. My memories of her as a selfless, fun (yet always teaching) grandma, bring such happiness at an otherwise heartbreaking time.
She will soon be with her parents and sister & brother. My mom will cross over to be reunited with her husband of almost 66 years.
Knowing she'll be with my dad again makes me happy.
Funny how I am damn near 60 and I feel like a little girl as her mom's hand slips from her grasp and a sense of dread and fear envelope me.
I'm playing some of her favorite music and helping her 'cook'.
How did/will you all say your goodbye?
Upon visiting and seeing the tips of her fingers and back of her head have cyanosis, I knew it was time.
The only person, not part of Pallative care or Spiritual, to show compassion was the 2 nurses. The dude who had called to push for letting her go, not only mentioned she was "dead" when she was brought back to ICU 5 days earlier, but acted like a kid in a candy store when he learned life support would be terminated. His behavior was so inappropriate, the Pallative care Doc asked to him to leave.
The nice nurse called to say she passed at 5:07 PM, 7 minutes after life support stopped.
Hospital wanted her out of there so fast, "doc" non medical staff member called police to deliver message to call them. Called, staff member mentioned start of decom to drive home the point they needed her out of there. Went back to sign,so they could release her to funeral home.
Later found out doc submitted his invoices to get paid, Jul 4, day after she was signed out and hospital sent her a survey on the care she got.
Peace is not dealing with this hospital or docs.
That's how I said goodbye to Mom.
Blessings to you!
I'm sorry you are facing this most difficult time as well katlew23.
My mom's passing is torturous. She is mostly unresponsive, not eating or drinking. She is nothing but bones....so emaciated. 😭
If I have her off oxygen her O2 saturation will drop, but other than that her vitals are strong.
When she has a fleeting moment of the 'here & now', she frets about her condition.
The evening brings the worst: nights are long & hard-
moaning, restlessness, tearing her blankets, gown & depends off.
To see ANYONE go through this is hard; for it to be our parent is crippling.
This journey we all share is so difficult.
I know she'll be in a much better place, but watching her as she is now is very very painful.
Hospice nurse says it's a matter of days now. I'll be surprised if Mom makes it to weekend.
so many emotions....hard to cope, impossible to process.
May God grant you grieving mercies and strength may He give your mom a peaceful passing.
It was tough...my mom was a strong willed woman whose dimentia kept her from fully grasping her condition. She fought the inevitable like a true warrior.
She finally came to peace and rest last night.
I was at her bedside holding her, soft light, Christian music and just encouraging her to allow her soul to be set free, from the prison her body had become.
With two small breaths, a slight smile, and a "brightening" of her face, she left this stage of her life.
God is so very good; I am so blessed and grateful to have cared for her and to be given the gift of being with her at her time of crossing.
On eagle's wings mom...FLY!
Big hug
May The Lord God grant you grieving mercies during this time.
Praise God that you know you will see her again one day and this is but a brief separation.
Not all of have that, never did, never will. It impacts us daily and not always in good ways.
What a sweet tribute, I wish you peace and calm in the coming days.
It helps to share....I find such comfort from the kind words, thoughts, and prayers given so warmly by each of you wonderful people. ❣️
So sorry for your (temporary) loss. One day we all will be together again.
You were/are SO fortunate to have had a great mom. I was so envious (in a good way) when reading all the things that your mom did for you and with you. How I would have loved that as a kid. She sounds like June Cleaver, Harriet Nelson, Carol Brady and Donna Stone all rolled into one. As Midkid said, some of us weren’t so lucky. I’d have given anything to treasure the memories you have. What a great gift and you can pull those memories out anytime you want or need to. You were richly blessed.
My mom and I weren’t close (she was narcissistic) but I stuck by her through 8 years of Alzheimer’s (89-96 years old). Last year, a few months before she passed away she told me she loved me. She wasn’t sure who I was but she knew I had been there for her. I remember her smiling with confused little eyes. I was waiting a long time to hear that. She died this year on March 15. I was so glad that her struggle was finally over. I wish I could have your memories but I’ll treasure her little “I love you.” as long as I live.