Is it normal that my Mother won't bathe herself?

If she is like my mother, she may be afraid of getting into the shower or bath because of falling. Maybe some towelettes would help? Older people lose some sense of smell, and they don't realize that they need a bath - the 'old people smell' that you hear about.

I think it is very normal with dementia patients to not want to bathe. Every patient is different and every caretaker/patient relationship is different. You have to figure out how to make them care or how to bribe them. I could smell my mom across the room and I would say to her. " I love you mom...you are so beautiful... such a princess", then I would go hug her and say "ok wow you are kinda stinky" and she would say "I am?" and I would say "yes, lets go get clean. A princess never stinks. Lets have a spa day, wouldn't that be fun? I'll give you a hair makeover and a facial and a nice warm bubble bath. You are so lucky. I wish someone would spoil me like that :) "
Sometimes, I have to bribe her. I would say," hey you wanna go get some ice cream?" She says "i would love that". I say " O K ,but we can't go out looking like that. Lets get you cleaned up so we can go get ice cream".
I would buy a really good smelling lotiion and say "smell this. Doesn't this smell great" and she say yes. I would ask her if she wants to put that on so she can smell like that? She would say yes and then I'd say well lets go take a bath so I can put this lotion on you. You are going to smell so good."
This stuff worked for me but I'm not saying it works for everyone. It is exhausting. Just kept wishing I could tell her to take a bath and have her do it, but it's just not that easy. I only made her wash her hair twice a week and bath every other day

Mom has refused to let the CNA wash her hair for 3 weeks and lately she rarely bathes. She is shadowing me and very clingy so I pretended to prepare to bath myself and wash my own hair in her bathroom, using all her prized toiletries. At the last moment, I asked her if she wanted to go first and she agreed!!

Yes, pretty common as dementia advances. However, her MD can order a bath aide or occupational therapist to help with this. Without bathing, she will develop skin fungus, especially under the breast area.

Rosebush,
that's a clever one! I wish I would've thought of that one before the APS stepped in and the courts took over. Hindsight sure is a good teacher. However, I must admit that I am very inexperienced in dealing with these types of cases let alone any at all. These situations that I don't with what ones that I had to learn as I went. I never thought that I would ever be faced with a situation where I would end up having to take care of someone else. Everyone faces their first time at some point, and my dad was definitely my first. I'm sorry I never really knew the ropes, but I must admit but I am learning from this site! This will definitely prepare me in case I ever face another situation later

Yes. My mother is bedridden and it's so difficult for me to have her agree to a bath. In her case (who has vascular dementia), I think it's because she's terrified of being naked, even if it's only in front of me. She feels vulnerable and this scares her. I can't do a full bath on her anymore because it just distresses her too much, so every other day I take only ten minutes after dinner and I quickly wipe her down all over from top to bottom with a warm wash cloth that has a tiny amount of soap to prevent a full lather (so I don't have to rinse) but enough to get any dirt off. I deep wash her hair once a week in one of those blow-up shower basin off of Amazon.

Perhaps she has a problem balancing herself. Is there equipment so she can do so comfortably? She may need some help.

I had 2 three year old kids at the time so I was into bribery, I did what worked to keep my sanity. I like that people on this site not only give advice but share their personal experiences. We are learn from our mistakes.

When i first started showering my mom, I would keep a think robe in her while I washed from the waist down, took it off, put a towel over her lap then did her hair and the top of her. I think I got it down to about 5 mins, the quicker the better. I would dry the upper half and put a dry robe on to get her out. My mom was very modest so I know showering was not easy for her. I am now going on axon, never heard of the blow up shower.

My mother didn't even know she had an odor bc she had lost her olfactory sense. I had to stop being near her when she was and after she used the toilet. That's why I purchased massive quantities of the Bath & Body Works room sprays! Works wonders!