Is it normal that my Mother won't bathe herself? - AgingCare.com

Is it normal that my Mother won't bathe herself?

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My mother didn't even know she had an odor bc she had lost her olfactory sense. I had to stop being near her when she was and after she used the toilet. That's why I purchased massive quantities of the Bath & Body Works room sprays! Works wonders!
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When i first started showering my mom, I would keep a think robe in her while I washed from the waist down, took it off, put a towel over her lap then did her hair and the top of her. I think I got it down to about 5 mins, the quicker the better. I would dry the upper half and put a dry robe on to get her out. My mom was very modest so I know showering was not easy for her. I am now going on axon, never heard of the blow up shower.
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Yes. My mother is bedridden and it's so difficult for me to have her agree to a bath. In her case (who has vascular dementia), I think it's because she's terrified of being naked, even if it's only in front of me. She feels vulnerable and this scares her. I can't do a full bath on her anymore because it just distresses her too much, so every other day I take only ten minutes after dinner and I quickly wipe her down all over from top to bottom with a warm wash cloth that has a tiny amount of soap to prevent a full lather (so I don't have to rinse) but enough to get any dirt off. I deep wash her hair once a week in one of those blow-up shower basin off of Amazon.
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Sorry for all the typos, I have a really hard time moving the screen back up when typing on my phone. Patrice
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Sylvia, when my mom was able to help with transfers, I put the side of the bath chair even with the side of the tub, would pivot mom from wheelchair to bath chair then help her lift legs into tub. Had grab bars on wall, she would stand and hold on when it came time to wash her bottom. Then did the same routine to get her out. I put a dry towel on chair to start so her butt would swivel as I was getting her legs in. After I washed that area, which was the last thing I washed, I would pull the wet towel off and put a dry one down. A year before my mom died she was no longer able to help me but my sins had just finished college and I had 2 string bodies to lift her in and out of the shower. I was very fortunate. I had an occupational therapist come to the house to show me the easiest way to shower mom. We were originally using a bigger shower chair but she suggested using the smaller one. She came out a second time and mom and I practiced doing getting in and out ( everyone was fully clothed) so she could see if what she told me would work. My mom was not happy in the beginning when I started showering her but then realized that I could do it quicker then she could. Any questions, don't hesitate to ask. Good luck
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My mom doesn't leave the home except to go for a drive with her husband. They return in time to use the bathroom so telling her we were going somewhere would not give her an incentive ;)
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Rainmom- I have the exact same problem with my mom. The doctor finally ordered home health but when they came to check her, she made them leave. Are the home aids better at getting them to cooperate? She will not with us!!
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Rosebush- my mother has Alzheimer's & post polio syndrome. She walks with a walker but not well. She gets so angry if we even mention a shower. I noticed you mentioned your mom has a wheelchair. How does she get in & out of the shower? My step dad lives with her & doesn't want to make her angry. She hasn't had a shower in about 2 years!
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It seems always necessary to have the positive incentive element, not only the "you stink" element. The reward of being able to go out works for Mom. She likes to look good for parties and outings. She also likes going over to a warm swimming pool, for which she has to shower first at the facility with her companion spraying her. And she enjoys the whirlpool tub at assisted living if they do the whole service ritual of preparing the carry bag with soap and lotion and fresh towels, and she sits on a fresh towel in the tub too, and wears her nice robe, and lotion afterwards, etc etc all of it. It really is first rate spa service for her. Dementia patients often DO NOT THINK there is anything wrong with them, and can't learn that there is.
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Private: Good strategy!
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