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I am 24/7 caregiver for an Alzheimer’s patient in his 90s. Neither of us have family or friends that could help us. My ophthalmologist wants me to have cataract surgery. The procedure lasts about an hour. I think that I could schedule it in the late afternoon and put my Alzheimer’s patient early to bed like I do for dental and other doctors appointments. The ophthalmologist would also want someone to escort me home, and I am not sure how I would also address this problem yet. Any suggestions?

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I would try to get respite care. You can't bend over or lift anything with any weight for several days. This is not something that you want to mess with, I know 2 people that thought they could fudge through and one, my dad, lost his sight because of it and the other was blessed enough to have a nurse as a wife and didn't lose his vision but, it was another surgery and a long recovery time.

You can take Uber to and from the appointment or contact local charities and ask if they have rides for something like this.

Good luck with your surgery.
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Ricky6 Jun 2021
Please see my additional comment above.
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This is important, so please don't decide there is nothing you can do about the situation and either decide to just not have the surgery or to have the surgery and muddle through, trying not to do lifting or bending over.

I bet you're not being paid enough to be the 24/7/365 caregiver (slave) for your friend. So how about getting him/her to pay for respite care? Are you the POA/HCPOA?
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Ricky6 Jun 2021
My patient is LO, and I am HCPOA. The feedback I got from the ophthalmologist and optometrist is that I still have some time to wait for the cataract surgery. If I can get beyond being afraid about it, I need to determine the logistics for me and my patient.

It is a little hard to understand that I cannot put in or take clothes out of the dryer, or put in or take out dishes out the dishwasher washer, nor put socks on or off!!!

What a mess! I almost do not think I would not forget and do something I should not do for two weeks by accident for myself and/or for my patient.
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My husband just had that surgery. You can't do any heavy lifting for weeks. It is time to think about placement for the person you assist. What if you have complications? And yes you do need someone there to drive you home and back to follow ups.
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My mom had cataract surgery. She had to have someone drive her home, that day and to her post op appt the next day. She was told not to bend over, even to put socks on for 2 weeks. That's because it puts extra pressure on the eye and then you are at risk for not healing properly and complications. Also for 2 weeks no lifting anything at all heavy. You will have an eye patch the first day and eye drops to put in periodically to help prevent infection and swelling. You cannot rub your eyes while healing so they will give you an eye shield to wear while you sleep. You usually have eye doctor appt day after, 2 weeks after. And then again a month post op to check if finished healing and get eyesight assessed for glasses.

Although this is an out patient procedure, its not like getting a shot or an xray that you are done with in hours. Its surgery, and you need to heal. You don't want to risk your sight. If you were ill, someone else would need to help your patient.

You probably should consider a respite stay at a local facility for her. You could still go there and be her companion, but others can do the physical stuff. Or have her hire a helper to assist you during this time, even a night for several weeks, maybe a college student on break. You need someone to help lift, bathe and dress her,, and do any chores that require you to bend over, like taking clothes out of dryer, on putting stuff in dishwasher,
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Ricky6 Jun 2021
Thank you for detailed explanation regarding cataract surgery afterward restrictions. You comments reminded me of a patient at a NH where my mother was in residence. There was an older woman whose daughter agreed to have her mother get cataract surgery. I did not understand why she would agreed to it because I could not see how her mother would benefit from it with it due to her severe dementia. One day I saw her mother rubbing the surgery eye when an aid was not present. I tried to stop her, but it was useless. Unfortunately, a few weeks later the patient passed, and I thought she suffered unnecessarily.
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Is your Alzheimer’s patient in hospice? If so, you might be able to call hospice social worker and get their ideas to find you some help.
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Ricky6 Jun 2021
No, he is not under hospice.
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I had heard that I could not lift anything heavy, but did not know about “not to bend over.” I have a lift for the patient, but need to get him in his sling to transfer him (I need to pull/push him up.), then there is bending over to put his shoes on/off.
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Call and ask your eye doc if you would be allowed to take an Uber home - otherwise you may need to hire an aid to take you home. I know some outpatient procedures, the patient is required to have someone to assist them home, in case of any emergencies.

In addition, you need to hire aids to assist you to do the heavy lifting and bending.

I'm sorry you have no other supports. Best of luck.
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Ricky6,

Who pays you? The person or agency that pays you weekly will have to find another caregiver to look after your 90-year old with Alzheimer's for a few days.
If it's not possible for one to come into the home and take over the caregiving, then the 90-year old will have to go into a nursing home for a respite care stay. It's the responsibility of the people who pay you to arrange it. Unless, you have access to the client's finances and are authorized to spend his money. Then it will be up to you to find care or temporary respite placement for him.
Also, someone will have to drive you home after the cataract procedure. You will have a patch on your eye and will be given instructions like no bending over and no lifting.
You will not be able to care for your client for probably a week.
Don't delay getting the cataract surgery done. Saving your sight is more important then a 90-old with Alzheimer's. A nursing home will take care of him if a respite care stay is arranged for a couple of weeks. It will give you a break too. Or a live-in respite caregiver to take over your duties for a few days.
Who will take care of you when your vision fails because you put off the cataract surgery for so long that the doctor can't save your eyesight?
The answer is no one. Unless your 90-year old with Alzheimer's has made you his POA and heir to whatever estate he has (this has been know to happen), family members will come from somewhere to collect after he passes. They will throw you in the street. Believe me families or a care agency have absolutely no loyalty to their caregivers. A family will not think twice about putting you in the street.
This being said, don't let yourself become a martyr to caregiving. No one will appreciate it. I worked for years for an elderly couple. I had wanted to leave the position because they were just too needy. I was guilted into staying by them and their out-of-town family. I turned down a job unrelated to caregiving to stay with them.
Their son sent me a text message saying my services were no longer needed. No explanation, nothing. Turns out they found cheaper help. This will happen to you so don't put anything before your needs and your need is cataract surgery.
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Ricky6 Jun 2021
No I do not work for an agency. I am taking care of a LO. It would not be easy to transfer my patient to a NH because I know that the patient would not get the proper care that I provide (The patient has so many health problems that the patient would have been gone a long time ago, if not for my care.) The patient lives in my home and has little assets, no family, but we share expenses. A live in respite care person is probably too expensive. Perhaps someone part time might work, however, I know that care agencies usually want 4 consecutive paid hours a day, but the person probably would not be there when I really needed them.

Ideally if the patient was in the hospital for a week to ten days, it would solve everything for us.
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This really doesn't have anything to do with your question, but I couldn't help but notice that in your responses to others that you say you're caring for a loved one, yet you continue to call your loved one, your patient. I guess I'm curious why you call him that.
I cared for my husband(who was a loved one)for many years, and never once did I call him "my patient."

And as far as getting your cataract surgery, sounds like you're going to have to delay it for the time being, as it seems more involved than you first thought. Hopefully that will give you time to get your ducks in a row.
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Ricky6 Jun 2021
Oh I only call my LO a patient because I am taking care of them, not because I am doctor. Just a figure of speech.

I agree it seems that I can only delay my cataract surgery until circumstances change.
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