What to do with Mom when no nursing homes will take her?

Call the police and tell them she is a danger to others and herself..hopefully that will get her into the 'system' and then tell them she needs a court appointed conservator because you are unable, due to your own safety, to care for her any longer. You, precious daughter, have done enough, detach with love and let the system kick in and take care of her.

What a terrible hospital not to advise you! Where were the social workers and discharge planners! I am so very sorry! There should never be a dead end when people are in this much trouble.
Please keep us posted. Keeping you in my prayers.

I would contact your state's Department of Aging - with the increasing number of people with dementia - which often includes depression and psychotic-like behavior, they should have some ideas for you. If you or your mother have no money, she should qualify for Medicaid and be able to be placed in a state-run nursing home and they should be able to medicate her so as to keep her from hurting herself or others. There may not be a therapeutic cure - so it may just be a matter of medicating her to the point that she's not a danger to anyone, which isn't optimal, but at least she won't be able to kill herself or hurt someone else. I'm so sorry you're going through this - it puts many other people's situations in perspective, and as you can see from the other responses, our hearts go out to you. Let us know how things are going - perhaps on Monday, you'll be able to reach someone with the state or your county - whichever has a department of aging - and get going in the right direction. There has to be a solution - she's not the only elderly person who's behaving this way. Take care of yourself, too - you need to hand this to a professional to handle. It's too big a problem for you to be on your own handling it.

You poor thing nothing like being at your wits end.I suppose the only answer is to get her doctor to put her in a hospital so she can be medicated properly.My heart goes out to you,this must be heartbreaking.

Oh my! I would be calling her doctor and getting her in a mental facility for evaluation. While she is there she will get the correct medicines after determining her mental condition(s). I would search for a nursing home near that mental facility too. Hang in there, and keep us updated.

This is a sad situation you're in. In addition to looking into the mental health facility, get in touch with the Area Agency on Aging. A representative from this organization may be able to offer you some great advice...I know I have benefited from this for my grandmother's situation. Does she still have a primary care physician outside of the nursing home? If so, get in touch with the office ASAP...the doctor may be able to help you with advice/medications and possibly admit her somewhere if needed. Best of luck to you.

Missmel, please don't feel alone.

Where exactly is your mother at the moment? And what are your circumstances - are you living alone or with other people, are you working, what else is going on in your life?

I really can imagine how heart-sinking it is to have a parent nobody wants to take in. But remember: your mother may be a very difficult person to look after, she may have very complex needs, BUT SHE IS NOT THE ONLY ONE and I really doubt if she's the worst. After all, just for example, there are big strong men in late middle age whose dementia makes them violent - but one way or another their families get through. It may not be pretty, but there will be a way.

Also remember that you are not responsible for your mother's behaviour. She's your mother, not your child. If other people push her away because she's abusive, remember that you too are a the victim of her abuse, you're not the perpetrator. If you're prepared to help her in spite of her behaviour, so will others be.

There will be a way. Keep asking until someone helps you find it. Can you tell us a little more about what kind of conditions your mother has been diagnosed with? What kind of care she needs?

Has she ever been to geriatric psychward? Maybe they can get her stabilized with medication before she goes to another place.

Missmel how are you doing?

Any medications recommended? Tried?

missmel, this is painful to read. I am so sorry that you are going through this. The only solution that came to mind is to get the state involved. Your mother may need to go into a mental facility. I don't know anything about how this is done, but your county mental health service workers should be able to help you. I wish it could be different and I hope you're able to receive the help you need. Big hugs to you and your family.