No help from rest of family. What can I do?

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I am the caregiver to both my parents (85 & 89). I've been doing this for 3-1/2 yrs. 24/7/365. I have only had approximately 10-12 days away from their home over the last 3-1/2 yrs. I live above the garage, so I do get away to sleep! My 2 siblings live 2,000 miles away (both). How can I get them to understand this is too much for me and to have my parents realize this is unrealistic to ask anyone to do. I'm 52 yrs old and not knowing when it's our time, I'm scared my life is passing me by. What should I do? I know I need to be here for them but I need help!

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1. Don't put yourself and your opinion down because you are adopted. Your input matters and really carries more weight than theirs because you are doing all of the work.

2. Being stuck in this situation at 52, you are right, your life is passing you buy. Not only that but you are putting your life at risk since 1/3 of caregivers who try to do it 24/7 end up dying before the ones they are caring for.

3. Are you financially independent or don't you really need to get back to work so that you will have enough money for your own retirement?

4. Do your parents have the ability to make a contract with you and the means to afford to pay you for what you are doing.
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Hopefully your siblings will realise while they are with you the crisis which you are facing. In the UK we are entitled to a 'carers assessment' through social services, where you are assessed regarding yours and your family's needs. It sounds like you do everything for your parents and you need a break. The fact that you're adopted should not make any difference legally and your siblings can't have it both ways - by letting you look after your parents without any support from them and then disregard you in any decisions to do with your parents. However, this is typical when one sibling takes on the responsibility of caring for parents when all the other siblings do is criticize, stay in denial or take control for the few hours that they can spare when they feel like they should, leaving the 'fallout' for you to clear up. Contact social services, hire some help - sometimes we have to be a little underhanded if parents aren't accepting of help - introduce any help you receive as a friend, it's difficult for elders to accept strangers. You have the most important job ever so don't feel intimidated by your 'caring' siblings. Take care of yourself and try to take control. Good luck.
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Do you have durable and medical POA for your parents? If not, it would be wise to get them soon.

Do your parents have any resources by which they can hire some caregivers to come during the week to give you a break?
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We all live on a farm and they are completely against moving into any type of assisted living, etc. Not only do I have them to care for, but I have the farm. The other 2 siblings are here for Christmas, which will be the 1st time we've all been together in over 7 or 8 yrs., probably longer. I would like to address the situation while everyone is here, but since I am the adopted child, I feel I don't carry much weight with them in decision making. My parents are surprisingly mentally strong yet. Physically they are not well--dad is in a chair and mom uses a walker and will soon be in a chair.

Thank you for your input. Anything is welcome.
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If your siblings don't understand it's because they haven't been in your position. It's easy for them to have opinions from 2,000 miles away but until they've been through it they can't know what it's like. If they're not pitching in their opinions don't really matter. Trying to convince them won't help because they have no idea what your life is like. Stop trying to convince them and figure out how to get out from under your parents.

Have you considered placing your parents in an assisted living facility? They could go together and you would get your life back. Since you are the only adult child involved in your parents care what you say goes. Your siblings have no right to sit thousands of miles away and dictate what you can and cannot do.
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