Anybody else out there have no clean clothes, dishes, floors, etc? I am completely burned out.

I suspect there are a lot of us who haven't been able to keep up on household chores. I'm still waiting for a Fairy Godmother with a Dyson vacuum and magic wand.

Oh, and I wouldn't mind a chef either, especially one who makes delectable chocolate desserts.

Have you ever heard of the phone call that changes lives? The one reporting the results of lab tests that fingers are crossed about? Any one of us could get that call. Lives change forever. Do you know how many caregivers die first?

Dad is living with you and your husband. Excuse my bluntness, but this, hopefully, is that whack upside the head we hear about. SPEND SOME MONEY. I know there's some there because dad is living with you and gets Social Security. The average Social Security check is $1200 a month.

The average at-home caregiver thru a service is $25 an hour.

Your husband is a saint. Please tell him some crazy lady on the Internet said that. It'll make him feel good.

If you are not going out with hubby twice a month for 3 or 4 hours, you are a fool.

Enjoy your respite and promise yourself you'll do better for you and your husband.

Is that your phone I hear ringing?

And the funniest thing about this is that my dad looks fabulous everyday. He doesn't realize the extra strain on his 60 yr. old daughter. He asked this morning, "You aren't good at housekeeping are you. I'd hire a maid if I were you!"

Bwahahahaha. I have to laugh.

My mother was ultra critical of my housekeeping (cuz I worked 50+ hours a week, commuted 10 hours a week, had 2 sons and their extracurricular activities, plus running the parent errands!!) I got to the point where I kind of gave up!!! In the 7 years since her passing, I have kept her house spotless and let mine get even worse. Bottom line is you put the effort where the GUILT lies...I feel guilty about the need to clean her house to a standard that pleased my father, and have no guilt over my own house needing more attention!!! Now my son lives in that house since father is in SNF, but I still make sure that house is clean!

What is really more hard to understand is that I no longer have to cater to him on a daily basis, but I am still in a state of feeling burnt out!?

Mincemeat, my son complained a great deal when I taught him to do laundry, saying no other kids on the block have to do their own laundry. Then, he learned how to mop and vacumn. Today, his house is clean, and his wife appreciates him. I am so happy for him.

Mincemeat, I think the changes, adaptations and compensations for survival made during caregiving stay with us for years. They're intense, adaptive and in my opinion created during survival mode. That doesn't change easily.

Please, if you can manage it, pay for people to clean for you. Why not? Often when I admire how a friend looks "put together" I find she or he pays others to do the drudge work! I have someone in every 2 weeks. I am starting to think I need them every week. I am now 68 and never had much energy to begin with. I had a full-time teaching job and 9 years ago hubby had a serious stroke. I retired 3 years ago. I still cannot get my housework done! Please, please pay some help. chris

Paper plates and bowls are a godsend. Not environmentally good but I can throw them away and not have them pile up in the sink.

Run the dishwasher ever time the quantity of spoons or forks drops below 2...

I used to keep a tidy home. While working, commuting, and caring for Mom , the house is a wreck, I don't have the energy to cook, and I didn't even get the laundry done this week-that has NEVER happened in my adult life, and I'm 62. Mom keeps me awake all night when there is no overnight staff. Mom is messy and a hoarder. I'm exhausted, and I feel like my stressful job and caregiving for Mom finally collided this morning after 9 years. My brother came when she fell (3rd time in 2 weeks), and I just lay on the sofa. I guess he actually figured out I was done. He took her, then got a caregiver to come for a few hours when he brought her back (his wife can't cope with Mom more than an hour or two). I just slept. Here I am on AC, all the mess right where I left it except for a bit the kind caregiver took care of, and I see that others have less than picture perfect homes, too, so I 'm going to quit beating myself up.