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I think there is a real need for a new kind of care. Hubby and I need more hours to be a couple and individual time to decompress. Having that kind of care available for 16 hours once or twice a week would really help relieve the stress of having Mom with sundowning, dementia and Parkinsons there all the time without having to put her in a home.

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You two are amazing taking care of someone with dementia and Parkinsons who is sundowning 24/7.

I don't know how long you have been doing this, but I do wonder how much longer you can maintain this not only for your marriage and personal time, but for your overall health as well. I think it is like 33% of people die before they person they are caring for does. Thus, I think you need more than a night or two break.

My dad has dementia and Parkinsons, but he is more than what one or two people 24/7 can care for. His long term care insurance enables him to stay at home with 24/7 via three caregivers on 8 hour shifts. Unless your mom has that kind of money to provide her more needed care at home so that you can care for yourselves, I don't see any long term solution, depending on her age of course.

Why is having her in a nursing home such a big issue? Has her doctor said anything about her going to a nursing home? My mother was in one that was fine for 4 years. She had dementia and was fully ambulatory from day one.
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There is a blog :" DayCare at Night __ Over-Night Care __ Night programs serving individuals with Alzheimer's "

Carers often experience chronic sleep deprivation. At the onset of nighttime. The demons of anxiety, anger, fear, hallucinations and paranoia come out. Night time can be unpredictable, up and down cycles.We need All-Night Care all night respite programs. nightregistry.blogspot

It takes just one person to encourage setting up Night-Care respite for those with dementia.
If YOU are using or involved with a assisted living facility, senior services, day-care, caregivers, senior center, or area agency discuss Night Care programs with your peers.
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Hi we are going thru sundowning syndrome with my mother in law and we dread the time, she becomes very strong verbally, what we do is just ignore and let her speak, up as much as she wants. its upsetting but we have to go through it.
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Have you talked to her doctors about meds? I can't imagine allowing my mom to get in that state night after night, for her sake.
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Ebees, it's great if you can get that kind of care to come into your home. What about exploring medication that can help your mom rest at night. It has to be rough on her too if she's anxious and not able to sleep. Does she take meds for anxiety?
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Thank you cmagnum. However, my husband is disabled and I also care for him. Mom only sundowns at 5pm - bedtime. Another problem is that we live in a rural area and caregivers don't want to come out here. Mom just turned 95 and uses a wheelchair most of the time and sometimes a walker.
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Uncle Dave. Thank you very much. I will look at the blog.
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Samantha10. I know what you mean. My Mom can get that way when it is late at night and needs her brief changed and doesn't want me to do it. Is she on medication for the dementia?
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Babalou, I will bring it up. Mom wants to walk around the house every few minutes once it is 5 p.m. She has told me that it is because she sits all day.
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Sunnygirl1, I was actually proposing that the Day Care Center provide overnight care at their facility, or another. Both my husband and Mom are on hospice care with a nurse and bather that comes to our home. Mom takes a sleep aid to help her sleep. She does take meds for the anxiety.
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