I feel NH social worker (director) is minimizing mom’s condition. While she is stable her dementia gets exacerbated by any movement or added confusion. She was diagnosed for LTC by internal team at NH. Prior to that I was aware of hallucinations sundowning and other symptoms however did not understand it was dementia. I cared for her for years prior therefore eligible for caretaker exemption for her home. This was all kind of sudden and in hindsight I realize that there is much more to planning and coordinating everything involved. Somehow I have made it this far. I feel that NH simply did not want my mom in their Medicaid “wing” I can only imagine it’s of a monetary nature. As my mother home is exempt from NH. NH had previously wanted to transfer mom to other NH however different insurance issues held process up, mom is on welcare and Medicaid and I was not keen on details of the switch so mom stayed in rehab. Then social work tried to send mom to assisted living which is not the level of care she needs. She is a wandering risk as NH rehab has put a monitor bracelet on her which later tried to take off but I intervened with doctors (NH doc) backing and conceded that the bracelet would stay. Therefore significantly reducing NHs that can accommodate wandering risk. I believe these were tactics to absolve them of my mothers care. I have long thought these and other measures NH has taken are suspect however I did not cause a investigation. I simply want mom safe. I have wrestled with idea of her coming home to me for the entire length of her stay there. I have a new understanding of that commitment since her fall. I don’t feel I can care for her 24/7 and sometimes I am optimistic that she would be ok while I went to work. Then I realize that I would never not worry about another fall or worse. She hasn’t talked about home and when it comes up she speaks about her childhood home not the recent home of 12 years. NH has told her things like “I wouldn’t take her home” I feel coaching her to push me to taking her home. However I know she would ask me if that was her desire. In fact had she even referenced home to me I would be compelled to taking her home. I have often pondered why she didn’t speak of home yet remembers my children and asking about them from time to time. I am exhausted by this all of it. I have typed this in an effort for some insight I don’t know what to do… I have children of my own and also step children. I love my mom and miss her for who she was before this I never would shirk my responsibility both as caregiver and her son. I hadn’t worked for two years while I cared for her now I have employment and am gaining success. I went in to substantial debt caring for her with out proper support which I only realize in hindsight yet I have managed so far but I am not sure for how much longer. I am not a doctor, Medicaid specialist, accountant, or attorney. I just love my mom. This forum has given me some insight previously now I am asking again. Thank you all and to all in this struggle I appreciate you thank you
Rehab is only 100 days when Medicare is paying. If a person needs 24/7 care after the 100 days they should be transfered from rehab to an AL, MC or LTC. It will be selfpay after the 100 days. If the person has no money than Medicaid for LTC has to be applied for.
You mention Mom is on Welcare (Medicare Advantage) and Medicaid, which I assume is LTC. So I will assume here that the NH is getting her Social Security and any pension she receives and Medicaid is paying their share towards her care?
Where I live, Rehab and LTC are in the same building so makes it easier to transfer. I would say they want Mom out of the rehab wing. If they have no LTC at the facility, Mom needs to transfer to a LTC facility that does have a Medicaid bed. IMO, its up to you to find a LTC facility for Mom, at this point, not the rehab.
If finding a Medicaid bed is the problem and you have POA, sell Moms house, must be at Market Value, and privately pay for her care at another facility. You will get her in one much more quickly. About 90 days before her money runs out, apply for Medicaid again. This means you need to find a facility who takes medicaid. For me Mom paid privately 2 months which gave me time to apply for Medicaid and the 3rd month Medicaid took over.
Here's the reason why your mother is being moved out of rehab. No one is paying for her to be there anymore. She also has dementia. So they know her condition is not going to improve and they're downgrading her to regular memory care/board and care.
You can't take care of your mother, and unless she made her home a protected asset five years or more before she went in the nursing home, you're going to have to find somewhere else to live. It's good that you're working, but PLEASE talk to a lawyer who specializes in elder law and estate planning.