Hello and thank you so much. My mother was diagnosed with Parkinsons/dementia when she was 55. Now, 10 years later, we've moved her into a memory care facility and my family and I are moving 'home' to be closer to her, my dad and my brother/his family. We're a close family, but I'm nervous about how to be there after being away for years. Obviously, this is not about me, it's about my mom and my family, and the focus will not be on me. However, I worry that my eagerness to make up for the years I've been away (and the guilt I've felt) will potentially cause trouble. Because I've been away from the day-to-day caretaking of mom, I assume that my grieving process has been far different than their's. I am so happy to be able to be closer to her before she passes, and to my family. So, my question again is, how do I move home during this time (she may have years left, or one year - no one knows with these diseases) and be the best daughter/sister I can be?

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I'm going to suggest anxiety meds for you and do a lot of reading on Parkinson's plus watch some Teepa Snow videos on youtube. Try not to let your hero cape unfurl and resist the urge to try and fix things. For starters resist the urge to uproot YOUR family and move. Visit mom when you can, call once a week and talk to her if you can. Don't add the stress of moving.
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Join an exercise program, if meds aren't in the picture. Remember the saying "too many cooks, spoil the meal." By that I mean, let the nursing home staff do it's job. It is often recommended that the family stay away for up to 3 weeks to let the patient get settled in.

I think that I would just ask my family for a list of things that needs done - rooms need cleaned out at home, garage sale set up, laundry, meals, etc.

Good luck.
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Thanks Pamstegma. I'm going to steer clear of meds if I can, and the move is happening no matter what (jobs). But, I hear and appreciate the 'try not to let your hero cape unfurl' advice. Well put! Thanks again.
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