This is an embarrassing question, but has anyone ever neglected to take care of themselves due to stress and exhaustion?

Well, at least now my Jeep resembles its driver.... it hasn't been detailed in years... it took me 7 months to finally run it through a car wash to get the winter mud off of it :P

Thank you so very much, everyone! I'm so sorry it took me this long to respond. We had a very difficult week and I haven't been able to get online very much. Freqflyer: you made me laugh with the Lysol comment! I feel the same way these days. I walk around with deodorant in my purse and body spray...which might not actually smell as nicely to other people as it does to me. I know about the phone ringing. My father has been falling a great deal lately, twice last week. I realized that my phone is NEVER off for the very reason you mentioned. I used to take great pains to put on a full face every morning...now, I'm lucky if I can even muster up the energy to put mascara on the second eye. I truly walked around like that one day - only my right eye done. I didn't even care. Assandache7: I feel like I've been wearing the same clothes for weeks. All I can say is: thank God I discovered dry shampoo! JessieBelle: I am the polar opposite of you. I HATE the dentist, but I keep up pretty well with my primary. I suppose this is a good thing because if I become too concerned about this funk I'm in, I can always reach out to her for help. GardenArtist: your suggestions about food preparation are so, so helpful. I'm going to try that this week and see how it goes. I'm so easily overwhelmed these days. I could benefit from being way more proactive about chores. Sunnygirl1: I'm so sorry you suffered such pain as a result of your experience. It sounds awful. I've been very afraid to ask someone to give me a hand because, truth be told, my father is a very difficult man and is hard to like, let alone love. My family members are beyond grateful that I've taken up the task of caring for him, though my sister actually said I look a little worn out so I think she may give me a little reprieve. Thank you so much again everyone for your support. I was starting to really scare myself. I think I need to come up with daily routines so I don't let myself go too much. Small things help, right? I need to remember that when I feel too tired to even lift my arms to wash my hair.

Yogalove, I can relate and I is not fun. You get so focused on chores, tasks, and needs of the moment, that you can't really relax. It's much too stressful. My issue is that I was too worried to sleep. I hardly ever got tired, until months later, when I fell apart.

When my loved one first became in dire need of help due to dementia, I had to drop everything, even though I was self employed. When this happens, you know all the things you have to attend to as DPOA and HCPOA, doctor visits, financial plans, household upkeep, insurance, bills, utilities caught up, cleaning, attorneys, etc.

I was so stressed out trying to do the job of 3 people that I really caused myself problems. As soon as the major crisis was over, my body started falling apart. I had a terrible dental abscess, root canal, my eye got infected, my hip went out, my psoriasis flared up, my stomach started making this horrible sounds, and I ended up losing about 40 pounds, though that was welcomed. The rest of the aliments were not.

I now know to not allow a situation of caretaking to overwhelm me like that. It's not worth it. Someone else can help or do the work. It's an unkind thing to do to yourself and I won't do it again. Sometimes we learn the hard way.

Can't you get some help? The job you are doing is very challenging. Please take care of yourself.

You're not alone. In fact I suspect most of the caregivers here share the same concern. The physical aspect is demanding, so is the emotional aspect. I don't think it's at all unusual to be so overwhelmed by both that exhaustion is the result.

And it's not an easy situation to correct. You have to specifically set aside time for yourself, even if it means that some things don't get done for your father. It really involves prioritizing, putting off some things that aren't critical.

Some of the posts I read express exhaustion b/c of all the chores - the daily cleaning, cooking, etc., plus care for a parent. Some of that can easily be spread out: cook enough for a few days one day, same thing next day, then eat leftovers for 2 days with maybe fresh salads and rolls or something like that, and integrate the cleaning on the noncooking days.

I won't schedule more than 2 medical visits per week unless there's an emergency. And I now also schedule some relaxing time so that whatever we do includes a blend of "work" as well as pleasurable activity, with a mix of critical path activities as well as noncritical ones. Otherwise, I get too stressed out.

And of course I leave time for Internet play on my days off.

I don't do the normal self neglect. I shower most days and always have on clean clothes. But I do slide on the makeup unless I'm going somewhere. I mean, like who's going to be looking here?

I am seriously guilty of not going to the doctor. I haven't gotten a new primary since my old one retired three years ago. I know I need to find another, but I always think, "I can do that next week." It's starting to look like I'll be saying the same when I'm 90. It's strange that I go to the dentist more than the doctor. I might die young, but at least my teeth will be sparkling.

I've looked down at myself and said "oh I guess I haven't showered or dressed today" , oh well...

Also have fell asleep on the couch in my clothes and been woken up by Mom to start my day, so I wore the same clothes again...

No big deal, just to damn busy..

"Whatever".. Who would know anyway..

Yogalove, welcome to the club. I am sure there are times when I arrived at my office and had forgotten to comb my hair. Hey, one shower a week is fine, especially now that the weather is much cooler. In-between use Huggies Natural Wipes or walk through a mist of Lysol.

I know I have cut back on the make-up as I just don't feel like doing it, my hand shakes too much for liquid eye liner now, oh what a mess.... as my mind is so overloaded with elder parent stuff and wondering why my parents had been so stubborn.

Even with my parents now both being cared for by paid caregivers, it is still physically and emotionally draining to ones soul as prior to this year I was running here and there for 6 years, juggling my work schedule, and trying to care for two houses. And every time the phone rang I would jump out of my skin wondering who fell this time.