This is an embarrassing question, but has anyone ever neglected to take care of themselves due to stress and exhaustion?

You are not alone. I use to shower every day. Now maybe once. My mother has dementia and cant be left alone for a min.. she doesn't understand when i ask for her to sit and not get up. She also has a very unstable gate and has already broke her arm from 1 of several falls. Now, shes not left alone for a sec.. i have chair alarms but im paranoid that the alarm will fail. Anyway... I use her wipes and my body cream and spray and pray no one knows. I still work... I just make sure I sit alone. My daughter just here to help... I have to leave in half hour. Just no time for more than a wipe bath.

Speaking of wrinkled skin, has anyone ever noticed that Native American women may have wrinkled skin but there's an aura of composure, perhaps satisfaction, or of acceptance? It's hard to define but the men also look solemn and yet at the same time comfortable with their age.

At least they don't look like some of the women who layer on so much makeup that they look like stage performers.

There's something inherently positive about a person who ages and still feels comfortable in his or her own skin.

Also I think the older you get, less is more when it comes to make-up.

Sunscreen and more sunscreen. My Mom was 92 when she died and the nurses would often go on about how she had no lines on her face. She was always meticulous about sunscreen and taking her vitamins. In particular Omega 3's.

But Jude you are right about exfoliating too. Otherwise you get this thick layer of dead skin.

GA I am with you 100%. I don't like makeup and now the wrinkles are coming I ending up looking more like a clown. I do however moisturise every day exfoliate at least twice a week and I use a toner every day too. If I don't I could claw the skin off my face because it dries out incredibly quickly - probably from having to keep the heating on for Mum. I don't buy anything special just Nivea and it has worked from for some 40 years so I see no reason to change now - love the stuff

I'm going to introduce something here to address those who feel somewhat guilty or less than properly made up if they don't use makeup. I used to wear makeup when I worked, got away from it when I didn't, and moved much farther away after reading about the chemicals that were in makeup when I used it.

Lead in lipstick was one of the biggest concerns I had. I shuddered to think how much I might have absorbed when eating if the lipstick hadn't worn off. And when it wears off, where does it go? Into your lips? Yuck.

After reading more at the Campaign for Safe Cosmetics, I gave up makeup almost entirely.

If you're feeling guilty for going out w/o makeup, take a look at all these chemicals in makeup:

If the link gets deleted, Google "Campaign for Safe Cosmetics".

malloryg8r - It is definitely not too late for you! I don't know how I missed your post. My friend just recommended a "Blues Buster" lamp to me for my winter blahs. It's a giant blast of Vitamin D that you sit in for about thirty minutes a day. It actually really, really helps. I just bought my own this past weekend and I've used it in the morning while I have coffee. Also, grief can be absolutely paralyzing so don't beat yourself up. Imagine - your whole existence was caught up in caring for your mother. Now, that part of you is gone and you need to rediscover yourself. It will happen. I just made an appointment with the dentist after not having gone for over a year. Why is it that we neglect our teeth so easily? Why are teeth the first thing to go? Chin up!

Forgot to mention the so very fragrant and delicious cocoa mint and sweet orange lip balms, made with beeswax (no petrolatum, paraffin or alcohol). They're the creamiest lip balms I've ever used - nothing like those commercial chemical concoctions that fee; like wax when you apply them.

And since there's no petrolatum, they can be used by someone on oxygen.

Yogalove, I learned about the wonders of No Rinse shampoos when my father was in a rehab facility, or maybe it was one of the hospital stays. Used it myself last year when I had an unexpected hospital sojourn.

The woman who creates the pure herbal lotions that I love has brought back her chocolate line for the holidays - tis a pleasure for anyone in love with chocolate. Think of a hot chocolate body polish and body butter....I think I'll get the body butter for Christmas. Maybe I can save the cost of buying chocolates if I have a little sniff when I put on the body butter.

I love all of these self-care tips! Anyone appreciate the wonders of dry shampoo? i just discovered this recently and I can't believe I've lived so long without it!

I've realized that I especially struggle this time of year. I imagine it's because there's less sunlight and so much more darkness. Classic seasonal depression, I suppose. I keep reading that we should start with the little things that make us feel better. I had no idea how accurate this was until recently when I remembered how much prettier I felt when I put on mascara. Blackhole has it right: we should be kind to ourselves.

Now we know why FF loves to vacuum. It all goes back to the trauma of that day with the carpet powder.

Speaking of room sprays or the plug-in scents, I read somewhere many moons ago that pets have a very heighten sense of smell and it was recommended not to use such things around them. What might smell really good to us would be x100 for them which would be sickly overwhelming for them.

I remember back in the 1970's I used a shaker of carpet freshener, something new on the market, and an hour later one of my cats was in respiratory distress so I rushed her to the vet. Even though I had thought I had vacuumed up most of the powder there was enough left in the rugs to make her sick. Went home, opened all the windows, and vacuumed the day lights out the rugs. The cat came home the next day and she was fine.

Hand raised !! I hate to use lotion, too. It was just last year that I finally bought some at Body & Bath Works that had a half way decent smell... smelled like pine trees which I liked :) But I still dislike the feel of it going on my skin.

Now that I think back, my Mom never taught me anything about using lotion or even night cream. How I wished someone would have clued me about night cream for the face, my skin had aged terribly since I grew up being out doors a lot and never used sun tan lotion.

GardenArist,
Thank you for the heads up about Febreeze. I had no idea. I'll look into that and find a natural alternative.

Eddie, I just wanted to say that I've really struggled with drinking and it got much worse when my father became ill. I've finally managed to give it up like you and, while difficult, I know it was the correct decision. I used to drink a bottle of wine every night. I think of those days now and I totally cringe. Cheers to you for moving away from the booze!

Yogalove, I don't want to be a wet blanket or frighten you, but I'm concerned about spraying Febreze on oneself. From what I've read on environmental forums, it does contain a variety of toxins, including BHT and several others.

The Environmental Working Group has addressed this and other toxins in sprays, etc., commonly thought to be safe and used in home environments.

If you Google "Febreze toxins", the first hit should be "The Dangers of Febreze." You might want to read it before spraying this stuff on your body again.

Went to use the spray bottle to freshen my hair, and wouldn't you know it! The tube was cut short and used for something my husband needed, so the sprayer no longer worked. Uffda!

GiveaHug - I LOVE that you mentioned Febreeze. I have several bottles in the apartment. I really do think it works. I spray it on myself, the furniture, all over. Timbuktu, I'm glad you brought up the teeth brushing. I have neglected my teeth so much that I can't even deal with thinking about it. JessieBelle, I used to run all the time until I injured my hip. I seriously miss the endorphins as I truly believed they helped battle depression. Now that I can't, I really feel the effects, especially this time of year. I'm trying to figure out ways to keep my body moving.

If I just want to brighten up my skin I use a spray bottle and baby oil and straight after my shower before I have even gotten the towel near me I spray my wet body with the oil, do a sort of 'I love me salsa' in the shower to get it to most places I can't usually reach then dry myself with the towel which gets to the places I sure as hell can't reach

Gershun no no its not the only option honest. I use an exfoliant and I used to use a really expensive one until I found this incredible recipe for a home made one that costs virtually zip AND does two jobs in one. When you have a shower correction before you have a shower mix together ordinary sugar and vegetable oil to a loose paste. The before you turn the shower on scrub your body with it and rinse well - ashy top layer all gone and body oiled all in a one. My Jamaican friend now uses nothing else and is amazed how cheap it is (I should mention he also mixes it with one of the most expensive cologne/aftershaves because he 'likes the smell' for goodness sake and they say women are vain!

I hate giving myself pedicures. The older I get the harder it is. I welcome winter so I can wear socks.

Yeah, Jessie I hate doing the whole lotion thing too. But the alternative is ashy looking skin. :(

Just flossed and then did something I really hate to do. Put lotion on my legs and arms. I just hate doing lotion, but my skin is of the age where it needs it. I have to tell myself I'm keeping the gator at bay, so just do it. Most days I don't, though. I wish I could drink a lot of water and never have to use lotion.

JessieBelle thats so funny. I wander around my place when I floss. Watch t.v., whatever. Sometimes I stand in front of dining room mirror and floss. I noticed speckles on the mirror. I think its from me splating out spittle when I pull the floss out. LOL. I'm not even a care giver anymore. I have no excuse. Blah!

I love to waterpik. I don't have a countertop or electric outlet in my little bath here, though, so I floss instead. I do get kind of tired of the nightly ritual of flossing. I'm getting lazier and lazier. Sometimes I put a movie on the computer and floss while watching. A lot more fun than standing at the sink. No one's around, so who's to know? Except maybe the rabbit and she's not talking.

My sig other and I had those water pics, and even with cleaning both units it still developed mold/bacteria, so we threw ours out.

I think I will try one of those spin toothbrushes... just got to remember to place in mouth before turning on :)

Yeah, it is one more thing on the counter. The portable ones are smaller - no large reservoir but apparently they hold enough. The pretty nighties help me to feel better about myself when I am not well. Can't hurt!

golden23, great advice! My good friend just had gum surgery and was told flossing may have contributed to the gum recession. She's doing the water pic now. It just seems like one more thing to have on the counter top, but I guess it's worth it. Also, treating yourself to pretty nightie sets is a lovely suggestion. I enjoy watching classic movies and love the beautiful nightgowns ladies wore. I picture Elizabeth Taylor in a satin bed jacket.

re flossing - get a water pic or water flosser, They are way easier and much more effective. I am looking for a portable one to take with me when I travel. I wish the hygienist had mentioned it to me before. I have been using one for a couple of years and my check ups are great. Another tip for dental care is rinse with peroxide (3% drug store variety) - diluted about 1 peroxide to 3 of water. I can't brush the back of my tongue as I gag. The peroxide rinse takes care of that. You can gargle with it for a sore throat too. I have suffered some heath issues due to not paying enough attention to them being so occupied with mother. I am making an effort to take care of myself better now. The years are flying by, mother is still alive, I will be 80 in 2 years and I have things I want to do.

Kathy -and everyone else - I hear you. I was in bed a lot due to illness for a couple of years and ended up buying myself some nice nighty and matching robe sets so at least I had some variety.

The lack of a hygeine habit is one of the most icky things about my 89yo mother. She sleeps in the same clothing including same pullups for 2-3 days at a time till the most bossy companion gets there to make her change clothing and bathe. Everyone else at the ALF just quits when she says no, despite being paid to bathe her. She has tons of excuses "oh I don't want to" or "I already changed" or "these clothes are fine" but she knows full well that she just doesn't want to do it today and thinks it does not really matter. So, now I force myself to be sure I do a daily shower and full change of clothes every single day while reminding myself "oh my God I need to have this habit or I might become like her".