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I would imagine the hotel will have other travelers reserving your room hours after you check out. This doesn't give housekeeping adequate time to have a clean, hygienic room available (without unfair check in delay). After hours on the road we need our room to rest up for the long day ahead. Consider how his extensive needs will impact others.
It will not impact others, JeanLouise. If they make a mess rhe hotel closes off that room. Then they will add a HUGE charge onto their credit card for a deep cleaning of the room and a replacement of a mattress and it will be a lot. My husband and I stayed in a beautiful, 5-star, Four Seasons hotel chain. It was a no smoking establishment. There was a discreet sign on the inside door that read a $500 room charge would be added if there was smoking or vaping in the room. Add pissing on a mattress, a couch, or the rugs. They'll charge anything they want.
Why does he require traveling? His condition is that he no longer can travel and placed should be placed into a respite facility in your absence, or it’s no travel at all.
I’m sad that so many people suggest no travel….if traveling …even though difficult … brings any happiness might it be worth the trouble? My 82 yr old husband ( mostly in a wheelchair/ Parkinson’s/CHF and urinary incontinence ) and i travel a bit. Hotel stays require preparation and equipment! I pad him and the bed up with pads that i bring…laundry bags and laundry soap so i can wash every day to keep his clothes and the pads fresh. If you’re traveling by plane, you can get most of these things delivered to your hotel before you arrive . I’m 82 as well so being realistic about scheduling is important … don’t want to get too exhausted ! Its different from when we were younger but we both value getting out in the world. Particularly seeing our grandkids! I understand that dementia adds an additional problem but highly recommend getting out and traveling even with all the additional logistics and equipment!
Perhaps traveling and hotel stays is no longer an option.
If you have to, here are tips for managing the incontinence:
For incontinence, Make sure he is wearing Depends, or adult diapers, which are more absorbent than Depends.
Washable bed pads come in multiple sizes. You can get one that is roughly 3 feet by 4 feet for more coverage. Also, even though the pad has a moisture resistant backing, liquid will eventually seep through. I double up the pads, one right on top of the other. You can also buy 30" x 30" disposable pads, with a plastic backing, so you can throw it away rather than figure out what to do with the soaked cloth pad.
You can also buy a waterproof fitted sheet to take with you and cover the entire mattress. You should never be leaving any hotel room with a pee-soaked mattress!
How old are you? Why do you find the need to travel with a 91yr old incontinent man? Even a death in the family, after a certain age, would get me to drive any distance with someone incontinent. I would tell them sorry with husbands health problems cannot come. I placed my Mom in respite care so I could travel 8 hrs to nieces wedding.
Why are you traveling with your husband who is in such condition without an aide being with the two of you? Or even at all?
You've gotten some good advice on bringing your own bed pads and making him use Depends along with pads. You should also speak to the hotel manager and explain the situation to them. They may make a special acommodation for you like putting a waterproof mattress cover on the bed. Talk to the hotel management before you go. If the bed getting peed on, you will get charged for a replacement and will have to pay. Talk to them ahead of time.
Washable Incontinence diapers and fully lined pull-up waterproof diaper underwear over that. They have comfortable ones with full absorption. They also sell washable diapers that velcro with an opening to slide in Bamboo or charcoal pads known as nappies and then, put the outer pull up over that. XXL washable bed chucks. I also purchased a bed wetting alarm used to train toddlers. The alarm goes off on a watch or device. While we aren’t potty training our beloved elders or any age, it will alert us so that we can clean them up and keep them comfortable as can be. I bought everything on Temu and works like a charm even for bowel incontinence. These items are for anyone of all ages for any medical issues, nervous bladder from anxiety or even sick with the flu, etc and having mishaps even while sleeping. I learned quickly not to use any fabric softener as well as sheets. It prevents full absorption and leaking happens. These work so much better than disposable. We also use McKessonn adult wipes to keep Skin and all clean and drop into a Diaper Genie bin.
We also found a bed pad that is large enough to go all the way across the bed and has extensions to tuck under the mattress so it stays in place, as well as other protections that we kept packed in a specific go bag labeled “hotel stays”.
"My husband has bladder cancer (on surgery #3), moderate dementia, and his kidneys work at 40 and 60%. He feels okay at 91. No symptoms, so he doesn't want to talk about hospice, but I do."
And be sure to use them wherever you go. I assume this is emergency travel? Otherwise, leave DH home with a caregiver. He seems in no condition to travel.
Is he also using disposable, absorbent briefs? there are absorbent pads that you can add to the brief so that it is more absorbent. Do not try to "double up" on the briefs, the outer part of the brief will prevent the next layer from absorbing any overflow. There are larger under pads that can be used as well. You could in a pinch pack a few large "contractor trash bags" and place one under the bottom sheet on top of the mattress. The sheets may still get wet but the mattress will not get wet. As to it being "embarrassing" ... YOU have nothing to be embarrassed" about Your travel partner is probably not embarrassed about it. Hotels are used to all sorts of "accidents"
Also do yourself a favor when you make reservations ask for Handicap accessible room. It will be easier for both of you if you are not stepping into a bathtub to take a shower.
Chux come in two sizes. Get the peach color, its larger and more absorbant. Your husband needs to wear depends. Limit his liquid intake in the evening.
I will assume he has Dementia or some physical problem where he can't get out of bed at night? Just curious, why do you need to travel. I placed my Mom in respite care because it was an 8hr drive to my nieces wedding. She had Dementia and was incontinent.
You can find a wide variety of sized pads, some with cute patterns if you search for washable dog pee pads! My mother preferred the patterns and they make sizes up to the size of a rug. Many also have no slip backings.
You make sure that "he" wears Depends along with a pad in them, and put down either a waterproof pad or chux underneath him to make sure that you keep pee from soaking through on to the hotel mattress.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
We have not heard back from you regarding your husband's or partner's condition. Details will help our forum. Thank you!
If you have to, here are tips for managing the incontinence:
For incontinence, Make sure he is wearing Depends, or adult diapers, which are more absorbent than Depends.
Washable bed pads come in multiple sizes. You can get one that is roughly 3 feet by 4 feet for more coverage. Also, even though the pad has a moisture resistant backing, liquid will eventually seep through. I double up the pads, one right on top of the other. You can also buy 30" x 30" disposable pads, with a plastic backing, so you can throw it away rather than figure out what to do with the soaked cloth pad.
You can also buy a waterproof fitted sheet to take with you and cover the entire mattress.
You should never be leaving any hotel room with a pee-soaked mattress!
That's a terrible idea because a shower curtain cannot stay in place and will slide off the bed even if it's under the bottom sheet.
You've gotten some good advice on bringing your own bed pads and making him use Depends along with pads. You should also speak to the hotel manager and explain the situation to them. They may make a special acommodation for you like putting a waterproof mattress cover on the bed. Talk to the hotel management before you go. If the bed getting peed on, you will get charged for a replacement and will have to pay. Talk to them ahead of time.
They have comfortable ones with full absorption.
They also sell washable diapers that velcro with an opening to slide in Bamboo or charcoal pads known as nappies and then, put the outer pull up over that.
XXL washable bed chucks.
I also purchased a bed wetting alarm used to train toddlers.
The alarm goes off on a watch or device.
While we aren’t potty training our beloved elders or any age, it will alert us so that we can clean them up and keep them comfortable as can be.
I bought everything on Temu and works like a charm even for bowel incontinence.
These items are for anyone of all ages for any medical issues, nervous bladder from anxiety or even sick with the flu, etc and having mishaps even while sleeping.
I learned quickly not to use any fabric softener as well as sheets.
It prevents full absorption and leaking happens.
These work so much better than disposable.
We also use McKessonn adult wipes to keep Skin and all clean and drop into a Diaper Genie bin.
Best to you and family.
"My husband has bladder cancer (on surgery #3), moderate dementia, and his kidneys work at 40 and 60%. He feels okay at 91. No symptoms, so he doesn't want to talk about hospice, but I do."
Buy Ultrasorbs on Amazon:
https://www.amazon.com/Medline-Extrasorbs-Underpads-Disposable-Incontinence/dp/B09NWF2Y1X
And be sure to use them wherever you go. I assume this is emergency travel? Otherwise, leave DH home with a caregiver. He seems in no condition to travel.
Good luck to you.
there are absorbent pads that you can add to the brief so that it is more absorbent. Do not try to "double up" on the briefs, the outer part of the brief will prevent the next layer from absorbing any overflow.
There are larger under pads that can be used as well.
You could in a pinch pack a few large "contractor trash bags" and place one under the bottom sheet on top of the mattress. The sheets may still get wet but the mattress will not get wet.
As to it being "embarrassing" ...
YOU have nothing to be embarrassed" about
Your travel partner is probably not embarrassed about it.
Hotels are used to all sorts of "accidents"
Also do yourself a favor when you make reservations ask for Handicap accessible room. It will be easier for both of you if you are not stepping into a bathtub to take a shower.
I will assume he has Dementia or some physical problem where he can't get out of bed at night? Just curious, why do you need to travel. I placed my Mom in respite care because it was an 8hr drive to my nieces wedding. She had Dementia and was incontinent.