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Well, as you may know, by reading my posts, my mom passed on at age 94 this past March 2017. I'm beginning to feel better, although there are days the grief creeps up! I've been remembering my mom daily, usually, most of the day, wishing she were still alive. And beating myself up occasionally about what happened to her. But today I realize that I went through a tremendous battle with her last few months of her life. Having no family to help me and going through it all alone was like being in a war I suppose. Although I am feeling much better now, I feel as if I was run over by tanks, shot at, beaten by baseball bats, you get the picture. And today, I realized that I've been through hell and need to remember that and take care of my needs now. I am wondering what everyone's thoughts are regarding that? Thanks for all your support!!!

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I think that it is good that you recognized this. It shows progress in the grieving process. This process will last several more months, with the pain lessening and coming less frequently. My all means, start taking care of your own needs! And be gentle with you ... you are in mourning.
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Recognizing the war you just went through is a part of it...but also Mom went through that war with you.

I came to understand that it was a horrendous ordeal for Mom. She is at peace. So, finally, am I
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Grief is a terrible journey. There are so many raw emotions to work through. Its been 9 months since my father passed away and I am still very tearful. I still feel a lot of guilt and ruminate and dwell on every what if imaginable. I try not to let these dark thoughts consume me, but sometimes I fail.

I'm glad to hear, you want to focus more on self care. This is very important. We are still part of the living and we must try to find a way to keep going forward the best we can. I say, yes, please do whatever is necessary to care for yourself. Please keep us posted in what you find are the most helpful steps you have taken.
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My thought is: yes. Quite.

Keep in mind that hug option we all have - "it's okay not to be okay." Yes, do recognise the intensity of what you've been through. It's a big step, well done.
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Its difficult to think of my own needs when I keep remembering my mothers suffering. And all the what ifs scenarios and did I make the right choices.
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bloomschool, I lost my mom April 12th of this year. It's very difficult I know.

My husband lost his dad March 25th, and my uncle April17th. Now my almost 14 year old dog is dying.

It's horrible watching my little guy struggle through CHF. I know a dog is in no way comparable to a parent. I just didn't need that so soon after the loss of parents.

It's definitely made the loss of parents harder as he's my constant companion.

Perhaps it's focused me off of my own needs and grief of mom will come later. Suffering is awful though he's got a good appetite and walks around.

Mom loved our little Jack Russell like her own and he spent time with her in her bed on her last day.

I think losing him will seal the deal. I dread that day but it won't be long now.

Just remember your dear mom is no longer suffering. Your choices were you and your moms. You knew her best. You fulfilled her wishes as best you could. ((Hugs))
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Was mom on hospice? They offer grief support. Or find other grief support and counseling. It is a process, take your time do what you want to do.
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