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Both my parents live with my husband, and I and 3 children. My dad is still very sharp at the age of 75 works part time and is in good health. My Mom has always been in good health too, but the past 6 months or so we have been noticing her Thought process not being as it used to be, She is forgetting people in her past, forgetting things she has done all her life, etc. We are in the process of obtaining a DX for her. Having some tests done next week. My concern is My mom has always handled all the financial stuff and my Dad has never had to deal with it. I think she is OK for now, but I am little concerned about what is going to happen if her condition worsens. Also would like to have a paper saying that all doctor's and such can talk with me. She gives them permission but if her mental state continues to change that may not be as easy to get from her. Just not sure what I should do? Power of Attorney? Don't know that I need that, my Dad is still very capable but just not used to doing some of these things. Any opinions would be greatly appreciated.

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do not share the poa's with anyone, there needs to be one person who makes the final decisions but DO HAVE PA backs up #1 and #2 i the event something happens to you!!!! Mom has a simple will and trust.
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you will need medical and financial power of attorney to act on her behalf. why you are at it it would be wise to get the same for your father. Before I got both of these, my mom had to have surgery and I took her to the surgeon, the hospital, pre surg lab work, a heart stress test with die etc. For some reason, since I was the one bringing her and scheduling everything everyone gave me information even her new pcp. Thereafter, the paper work was needed.
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What do you do when your mom has mental health issues and her husband is "slow" ? My mom has been diagnosed with paranoid delusions so she is skeptical of everyone and doesnt even trust me, even though I am the one seeing to everything for her (and running myself ragged in the process). I just want to make sure she is safe and her money lasts as long as possible because she is not that old and has years and years left that she will need assistance. How can I safeguard her money from her husband (who steals from her) and make sure she is getting her medications etc ?
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cmagnum, I don't know if I'm considered co- owner on her checking, I just know I'm on it enough to write out checks from it. I guess tho I'm not because she needed to do a withdrawl from savings & she had to be with me. I couldn't do that o n my own. My BIL does her income taxes & we just have her sign it. She signs most of the checks we send out. I fill out who they are going to for her. I keep her involved to let her know that she still is in charge of her money. Thanks for your help!!!!!!!
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The parent has to be the one signing the POA before a Notary for it to be valid. My mother signed both POAs and listed me by name as her POA. My signature does not appear on the documents.
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You do not need to involve an attorney if you cannot afford it. I did not and everything was fine. Just the notary is all you need. I sign my name and then write "for" then my parents name I print. As long as those agencies have the copy of your POA, you are covered.
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With my Aunt, the hospital explained the Durable Power of Attorney to her prior to her surgery and she was happy to sign it, 'Just in case'. She is still sharp and able but usually tells me to sign for her anyway. All decisions are hers at present, but should she be unable to make them, I can take care of it for her. It is a big responsibility to be a POA and a good idea to keep detailed records of each and every time you sign something or make a decision for her. You never know when you might be asked to verify something.
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Good information. I checked it out online. Shows a short video. if necessary you need an attorney while filling out these forms it will let you know. Thanks for the info.
Equinox
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Quicken WillMaker Plus 2012 Has everything your gonna need.
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ZOEY1ZULU2, Yes, you can get Medical POA for it is a separate POA from the Durable one. Without that medical POA there will be some doctors, particularly in hospitals who will not talk with you without it due to privacy laws which a doctor is breaking if he or she talks with you without you having the medical POA.

However, your BIL's durable POA will cease upon your MIL's death. Who is the executor of your MIL's estate? Whoever it is will be dealing with the financial and property matters after your MIL's death. Does someone know where her will is or does she have one? My mother could not remember where her's was and it took me forever to find it, but I did.

BTW, paying her bills is a lot of what a durable POA does and often a bank likes to know who the durable POA is. Are you on your MIL's accounts as co owner with right of survivor ship? Many people with a durable POA are not and can only deal with money matters because they are. I'm my mother's durable POA and about 10 years ago she made me co owner of all her accounts with right of survivorship. However, when ever monthly long term care check comes in each month, I have to sign it for deposit as her POA. When I sign her tax returns done by the CPA, I sign as her POA with a special ID number from the IRS. BTW, who does your MIL's tax returns and signs them?
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cmagnum, My MIL never had a medical POA, only the one that has to do with financial stuff. The reason she had put my brother in law in charge of that end is because he is VERY good with finances & money stuff. Frankly I prefer not to be the POA of that stuff because of all the B.S. that I read on here that comes with it. It really is just for the matters when she dies. Alot of that stuff I don't understand. I don't have a problem taking care of the checking account & taking care to make sure her bills are paid because she doesn't have alot of bills . She gets her S.S. check & we just pay her bills & personal stuff out of that. It;s pretty easy. I do have access to her savings but don't have any reason to touch that. We don't need to use any of that because her S. S.check covers her bills & she still has some left over that we just let be in the savings. I just wondered can I just do the medical part & not the big money part? I'd rather him deal with that after her death..
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That is a very good question. I can answer the question by my experience.
I have pOA that allows me to sign on my moms behalf. ( she has glaucoma), allows me to speak on her behalf. I also have a durable power of attorney and healthcare power of attorney. Each time my mm was admitted to hospital the staff asked who is the Poa for my mom. I carry these papers in my car. I am the only daughter that takes care of her also. I cant really say i make all the decisions, i do accept the drs expertise as well. For them, they have some family member that can legally talk to for information, due to the privacy rules. This was drawn up
by an attorney. You should ask what you need if the need arises for hospital care or NH etc. so that you will have a peace of mind. Hope this explanation was helpful.

Equinox
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Dear LOVEMYFAMILY5, I am so so sorry i interrupted in on your question. I didn't realize that this was a spot where people just answered your question. I thought it was a place anyone who had a question pertaining to the topic jumped in. Next time I'll make sure I put my question in my own spot. Sorry, Love, Sherri (zoey-zulu)
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From a legal as well as a practical point of view, your MIL should revoke the current durable and medical POA and give it to you or to your husband.
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My main reason for the question is because we are not POA
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my mother in law lives with my husband & I. We are her caregivers 24/7.We have access to her checking & savings. I am on her checking account. I write all her bills out for her. My brother in law however is actually her POA. I take her to all her Dr. visits and I'm the one who knows every single detail of her health issues. When I take her to the Dr.s I answer most all of the questions they ask her as she is 88 with dementia. All of her Dr.'s know me & know I have been taking care of her for the last 3 years. They let me know of everything health wise pertaining to her. My husbands brother & sister only know of her health by me. They have never taken her to the Dr.. After reading things on this site, I'm just wondering since my husband & I are not her POA ,will there ever become a time when her health concerns won't be up to me &my husband. I know my brother & sister in law trust all the decisions that we make for her, I'm just wondering from a legal point if there is something we should have stating that the family allows & trusts our judgement on all her health concerns? I hope I've made this understandable for you guys out there to answer!!!!!!!! Thank you
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Durable POA is needed for financial matters and Medical POA is needed for medical matters which include making decisions when the person is not able to. If you do not get these POAs for your mother soon, she will not be competent enough to give them to you and you will have to file for guardianship which involves going to court and proving a loved one's incompetence via doctors. Normally, people get a lawyer to draw these documents up so that they comply and reflect the POA legal statues of that state. It is important to give doctors a copy of your medical POA and to carry a copy of it with you when someone goes to the hospital for hospitals want to know who the medical POA is. My cousin keeps a copy of her durable and medical POA for her mother in her car glove compartment so that she always has it with her. Not a bad idea.
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Be sure there is a sentence that specifaclyy says to all who are preparing poa documents and health surrogate, that you will not be responsible to pay for their medical bills.
Eq uino
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All of you are very wise with what you have done having the POA, My husband had a stroke and was flight-cared to a hosp in another state near by and I knew nothing to do. Some one said that the hospital should have had a paper for me but my daughter flew in from San Diego and she works for a court reporting firm and got all the papers for me and we had them signed for my self also. I guess were just suppose to know all of this but I didn't. What a blessing she was.
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My sister-in-law designed it for me because she had one for her mother. I assumed she got it off the Internet. Legal forms.com should have them. Free, I think. Make sure everything is included from medical to financial. I knew I would have to sell the house, make investments, sell the car, file income taxes, a multitude of medical decisions i.e., surgeries, rehab, meds, doctors, ER, and procedures. If you cannot find the form, let me know and I will send you the form I used or post it on this site for everyone. Take care. Hugs
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Where do you get those forms?
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You don't wait to get poa you get POA so it is there when it is needed!!! Get it now from your father for both your mother and father if they allow this. If not get mom to get in and hope she has a good memory day. Someone may have better advise for the mom poa piece. Dad might be able to turn over POA to you for both of them. Don't wait. I needed POA for everything I did for my mom, esp doctors because i was the financial poa and medical poa.
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Since I was not named in the healthcare surrogate, living will, or POA papers signed years ago,my sister's husband who was POA, an attorney, and I drew up HIPPA portability papers and had them notarized for me to be able to have full access to any health related issues including doctor's appts. and questioning billing, etc..My sister lived in another state before living in my home for the last year of her life. I was her caregiver 24/7 and most of the time I had no problems before the HIPPA papers were prepared. But I did run into a couple snags before they were in place.
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Durable Power of Attorney is a good idea, especially if you're geographically close & will be handling things for either of them. I agree, get it before you need it (my Mom designated hers years before she was diagnosed with dementia). In Canada, at least, you need a separate Medical Power of Attorney to be able to determine things like when to "pull the plug", should that ever be necessary. I've scanned my POA and have it ready to email or print out whenever it's needed (and it's been quite frequently). Your mother's husband has the automatic power (by virtue of marriage); he doesn't have to have a designated POA, as I understand it. For just talking to doctors and reviewing her medical info, though, I think that she could allow that in writing without giving POA. (The POA allows you to actually sign her checks, etc., too)
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Forgot to tell you that after the paper is signed, sent copies to all government agencies, power company, water, etc. when you sign the check in your name, just write POA next to your name. Your parents' account will still be used to pay the bills. Don't have to open a new account.
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Get a General Durable Power of Attorney. I have that for both parents. It entitles me to all health related issues and financial issues. I sign for everything for them. I do income taxes to agreeing to meds. You can download the forms yourself. Just have your parents sign in front of a notary. If you only want to be the POA for your mother for now, that is fine. If she does have dementia, it will make it easier for you and your father to make decisions about her health. Good luck.
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power of attorney and health.And financial issues. it works for me. Just so long as its not coerced into a choice of person chosen. My moms primary care dr had a form that indicated who can ask on her behalf to fill out. It's a must to have. Better to get it written up before you really need it. Sounds like your dad is doing well health wise. He would be the first contact for info. Typically with the privacy rules his name must be on a form.
Equinox
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