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And now early onset Dementia. He wants to me with me 24/7. I try to explain that I need "me" time. He panics that if something happens to me who will take care of him. He stills trys to drive and go places, but he sometimes gets lost, then he panics again. I just cannot be the see all, do all....I am getting so tired and sad. I feel so overwhelmed. Any suggestions as to making him feel more secure in my absence?

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Some is your husband on medication for the adhd, anxiety and depression? If he is, you need to contact his doctor to let him know that the symptoms are breaking through. If he's not on meds, you need to make a list of all of his symptoms and talk to his doctor pronto.

Yes, you need Me Time. But his brain is broken in significant ways and can't take that idea in anymore. If you are going to be successful at keeping him at home, there needs to be a better level of medication.
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I agree with Babalou. Your husband needs his meds tweaked but I'm afraid that it won't solve your problem.

You absolutely need your "me" time but I'm afraid that your husband's dependence upon you is just going to get worse. Have you considered in-home help? You can hire an agency that provides caregivers. For example, you can have someone come over for 2 hours 3 times a week. Or any combination that works with your schedule. You could go to lunch, go visit with family, just get away for a while.

Or if you'd prefer to stay at home and be able to take a nice relaxing nap maybe your husband would enjoy an adult daycare for seniors.

Unfortunately with your with your husband's conditions it's going to be up to you to work for that "me" time but I think it can be done.

And good for you for knowing that you need that time to yourself and caring for yourself enough to figure out a way to get it.
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