Need ideas on giving mom a bath in her shower to wash her private areas. Any suggestions?

how about placing a wet soapy towel in rolled position from front of shower seat to back of shower seat and have your mom straddle it when sitting down. then when your are done with everything else, have her stand and you grab the front and back of towel and pull it back and forth across her bottom.

your mom could stand in the shower and hold onto something while you wash her bottom. would this work????

do you have safety bars in the shower, if so, have her hold onto that and use a "sprayer" to clean her bottom. wishing you luck.

my mom has dementia. i tried a shower chair but ended up buying a mesh bar stool (patio furniture) we found that a mesh dining chair was too low. my husband installed a removable shower head so that i could spray through the mesh and into her bottom. That was the best thing we could have done. Gratefully she can stand (wobbly) but when i do that i can wash her with a wash cloth in her private area. It is hard because my mom gets upset a lot but somehow we get it done.
One of my caregivers also rinses her bum with warm water after she has pooed in the toilet. she has her lean forward and washes her. it makes a mess with water on the floor but she puts towels down.

Get help from a home health person who does bathing. I have seen how they do it. They do it with compassion and sensativity. Just like washing a car with compassion and sensativity.

Those bidets that fit on top of a toilet seat could really help if she can sit on a toilet.

I don't work for this company but their products are so amazing I have posted about them several times.
LUME (available online) makes a gentle, sudsy soap. Follow the was up with the LUME cream deodorant (just a pinch is all you need) and apply it in the crevices. Controls smells amazingly well for up tp 72 hours. (Their commercials alone are a hoot!)

If washing your parent's privates gives you discomfort wear a pair of medical grade gloves. The feeling of there being a 'barrier' between you and your LO is a mental thing, I know, but it was the only way I could wash my mom. Seemed more clinical that way.

And, sadly, sometimes we have to go through the closet and do 'sniff tests' to see what simply cannot be saved. (Pants, which have been laundered but not with the right detergents and additives to kill the urine smell.) Keeping your LO well stocked with fresh panties or boxers, whatever, and tossing the ones that cannot be adequately cleaned is not cheap, but helps a lot.

Is she able to use her hands on the side of the chair, to push herself up? My mother used to do this ~ when I was able to get her "in" in the shower. If she can't, just do the best you can. Something is better than nothing. My heart goes out to you!!

Don’t know if she can do this but try to have her lean back on a shower seat - one that has a back!- and out her legs up. And “spread” herself or you do that. You gotta get in there (sorry). If she can’t lean back or get her legs up you must get something you can spray from bottom- they *must* make a shower seat like that, or if not perhaps a bedside commode chair in the shower (same concept).
lastly, “scrubbing” (of course I mean lightly) with a washcloth seems to help also. Great question!

I am, a cancer survivor , had 4th stage colon cancer & spent 4 months in a coma, sepsis and died from heart failure. I also have early onset Parkinson's. We had this situation with my sweet grandmother who I miss!
I would have her stand up and use a spray bottle filled with soap and then use another bottle spraying clean warm water then pad her dry and put on cream or antibiotics. Dr J Grenan PhD

I usually have a hand held shower head installed. Spraying area while standing before sitting down. There are shower chairs you can buy with holes in seat so you can reach the area.

Another idea is to get a patient lift (like get-u-up lift by Inv*care.) Get the sling that is easy to put under arms, but will have the rest of the person’s body exposed below. In this way you clean her front and back, and between her legs. (You probably will need to get the lift sooner or later, and Medicare will cover it with a doctor’s order.)

It is probably easier to get a bidet seat or conversion for a toilet than try to deal with this in the shower where she may feel unsafe / unbalanced if you try and get her to stand for washing. Alternatively bed bathing for just this private areas may be an option, use of wipes either to wash or whenever toileting are other options. I bought my mother this - which has a small plug so wipes don't go into the drainage system but it depends if she can assist at all which option may be best for you.
https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B00I459LFS/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1

Make sure you and or her caregiver are doing the wiping for her from now on, she probably isn’t wiping correctly or at all. After every toilet use follow up with adult wipes or baby wipes to keep her more fresh. Wash her bottom first before she sits down and change her undergarments every morning or evening but daily for sure. I don’t know if you have a caregiver but it may be time to hire one on her bath days to take over this task for you. Make sure she’s drinking plenty of water too.

Hi,
My 83 year old mother was having difficulty showering using a shower chair and we recently solved the problem by installing a Windsor walk-in bath for her, which has a wide door to enter the bath and a moulded seat on the inside. Mum enjoys a great soak and a good clean several times a week. We found that the walk-in bath was the perfect solution to give mum some independence and to keep her clean and fresh.

Imho, it (her bottom) doesn't even have to get to the point of malodor if you use Cottonelle bath wipes after she's done using the toilet. After each toilet use, she should be using the Cottonelle (or any other store brand) wet wipes and half or most of the problem is taken care of.

Dear Texas,
I totally get where you are at. I'm really close to my momma and we often joke about how she wiped my bum when I was a baby and now i'm wiping hers. I'm sure at first, a couple of years ago it might've been uncomfortable for both of us, but now it's just like cleaning between her toes! No big deal. Now my Mom had to go to a rehab center 2 years ago after hip replacement, and all "privacy" went out the window. So she's okay with it. Recently she had a fall, was in hospital with a pad under her and the nurses taught me how to use the bedpan and change both her "pull ups" and pad on the bed. Now because she has digestive issues, I don't allow her to wipe her bum when I'm home to keep things sterile. My mom has a large shower with a wide chair that sits two legs in and two legs out. She sits down, facing me then turns towards the shower handles, then puts her feet in the shower while sitting. The caregivers do this as well with her. There are safety handles vertical along the shower and one horizontal under the shower head. We installed a shower head on a long "hose" and I stand behind her. When I'm done with her back, arms, armpits, chest, legs then she stands up. I give her the wash cloth soaped up and she cleans her pubic area and urinary area. I then use the cloth and wipe her bum going front to back. If I can see any visible poo, I'll use a medicated wipe (like a baby wipe we use after she poops on the toilet) first, then wash with soap and water. If your Mom is not able to stand long enough then I'd suggest having her lay on her side on the bed, with a pad under her use a bed pan with soap and water. It's a pain, but "diaper rash" or UTI can be very painful. I hope this helps. You can do it. Just think of all she did for you when you were young and vunerable. Remind her that it is a priviledge to care for her.

* Guide/catch her before she sits down (hold on to her so she doesn't sit down nor fall) "oh, we need to clean you bottom first!" or something like that.
* Put a towel on the chair that has lotion / soap already on it. Tell her the soap needs to be cleaned off with water and help her scoot up a bit.
* If she is already sitting, tell her you need to rearrange the chair and assist her to get up.
* Does the chair have holes in it? Get that hose underneath like one of those toilets ('dubay') !
* Don't make a big deal out of it. Make a statement and keep going.
* You could also do a similar process in the bed . . . or wash her when sitting on the toilet. Perhaps it doesn't have to be done (all the time or initially) in the shower.
* Different approaches may work at different times.
* Once she gets used to it, hopefully / likely it won't be a big deal (to her).
. . . I do not have personal experience as many do here. I am sure you are getting lots of useful advice/suggestions.

The simplest for me is to take a rubber or plastic sheet and lay on the bead... get her clothes off and lay her on the sheet. Then you can take a pan of warm, soapy water and a soft sponge or wash cloth and wash her privates and anal area easily by having her pull her legs up toward her chest or lay on her side and lift one leg vertically, or simply spread her legs as far as is comfortable, then have her roll over to clean the back side! I have to catheterize my wife's bladder daily and while I am at it, I simply clean her bottom with wet wipes while I have her in position. It would be simple to go ahead and bathe her whole body lying in bed but a head wash is simpler sitting in the shower. But cleaning the perineum area is something she just can't do effectively!

Hi there. I use a removable shower head, have her hold onto the bar while I hold her with my strong hand. I use my left to clean her downtown. What helps is I use a sponge that is attached to a plastic handle (kind that you use to clean drinking glasses.) Takes out the weird factor of having to use my hand.

What about using a mesh chair or a commode chair, along with a hand held shower wand?

This way she can wash herself through the mesh or the hole in the commode chair with the hand held shower wand.

Here is a link to something that may help.

https://www.medicalsupplydepot.com/Bathroom-Safety-Products-1/Raised-Toilet-Seats-2/Extra-Wide-Tall-Ette-Bariatric-Elevated-Toilet-Seat-with-Legs.html?itemNSId=73901&utm_source=google_ads&utm_campaign=11496083171&utm_content=113239553998&utm_medium=cpc&utm_term=&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIk7rF2KX-7gIVdgytBh0DXgtqEAQYASABEgLfB_D_BwE

I saved that part til the end. If she was able to do the front part herself I let her. Then I had her stand, turn around putting her hands on the shower chair, I had her bend over, Then I washed her. I also used a hand held shower it is the best thing for getting in there and giving her a good spray/hosing both front and back.

I changed over to adult wipes versus toilet paper. If you think about it, toilet paper is not the best material to clean a mess. Sam's is the cheapest (and largest) I've found and you can order online. If you or a family member has the $100 per year Plus account with Sam's, it is worth the free shipping on nearly everything you order during a year. There are 5 packs per box of the wipes and very durable. Can't flush them. I ship as many things as I can - saves a trip to the store, you don't load/unload items from car, and boxes delivered right to your front porch. As a suggestion - do several orders at one time because they will put so much in the shipping box it is often too heavy to get into the house. Ex: clothes detergent is one order, 3 boxes of wipes is another order, incontinence pads another order.

The problem you are having is why I hate shower chairs. Everything is not getting cleaned. They do have sitz bath, available at nearly all stores, that are placed over the toilet. That might help you. It would probably be too tall and a safety issue to place on the shower chair.

If you still have a bathtub in the house, there are lift chairs that will get her all the way in and out of a bath so she can actually soak in the water and allows for better cleaning. I spent about $3K and it has been worth every single penny and we were dealing with an exceptionally small bathroom, so you don't need a lot of room to install and use it. Call Kelli Beckel 5096309571 - she can send you info about their pro bath chair lift. Tell her Cathy sent you. I've tried to refer everyone I can after getting one set up. Look up pro bath to see what it looks like. Don't have to worry about a leak that can happen with walk-in tubs, the cheaper lifts that sit in bottom of tub can be a little difficult for someone with mobility issues to get on/off of. The man who designed this chair is a genius. He and his wife are wonderful.

Hi Texas. Like many others have said, a handheld shower head really helps and in my opinion is a must have. We didn’t have grab bars so my mom would do what I call a police frisk stance against the shower wall where the faucet part is. I had an anti slip mat in bathtub so that helped. Doing her privates first avoided any slippery walls from water cast off. Before I did any other washing. I put the handheld dealio between her legs in her front and aimed the water stream towards her back end. Then I did the back end aiming the stream downward. I had her soap up the area as best she could with one hand as she still braced herself against the wall with the other and repeated the wash and rinse. Too little soap is better then too much for seniors sensitive and thin skin so I wasn’t too worried about her being super thorough with the soap part. After privates were done, I then had her lean on me to sit down. I had her soap up her body as best she could and rinsed her well. Since she was seated at this point, soapy water didn’t really get onto or into her privates and they were already clean from the beginning process. If your mom can’t stand up at all, they do make mesh chairs where you can still do at least a water spray in the private areas with some creative moving about on your part. Modesty went away rather quickly as being clean felt much better then worrying about what was exposed. If you don’t have a handheld, you can use squeeze bottles of water to get enough force to rinse areas. ( I used those empty bottles you buy to fill with ketchup and mustard) You could fill another one with soapy water and a third with plain water. Key here is too have your “ set up” ready and good to go so you can do this smoothly and quickly.

After I give my parent a bathe, I then spray with "Summer's Eve", freshening Spray. That's deodorant for the vagina area.

For Mother's bath time, I have her wash her body with a suddsy puff -- arms, legs, feet, chest -- mostly as occupational therapy. I take care of her back. Then I have her stand up using the grab bars for balance. Once she's good, I take a bar of soap, get my hand good and soapy and wash her bottom (only takes five seconds). I give her the bar of soap and she takes care of her front side. Meanwhile, I rinse her back side. When she's done washing, I hand her the shower head and she rinses her front side.
So, when I first figured out I would have to take matters into my own hands (litterly, I guess), was that I realized she couldn't reach her backside so well and was trying to was her front side sitting down with a cloth. I explained how she could get a better clean if she stood up and that I would take care of her bottom. When it's time to take care of bathing her down stairs, I say, "Okay, I'm going to wash your bottom, " before I touch her. This way she doesn't feel surprised or weird uncomfortable. She's in charge of her front, just because I that would be too uncomfortable for her and I'm not gonna lie, me as well.
Then, there's a young woman who was the receptionist when Mother went to physical therapy after breaking her hip. She took care of her grandfather who was in his 90's and had dementia. To bathe him, she would shower with him (don't get weird on me people, of course she was clothed), because, although he could still walk and stand pretty well, he just couldn't connect the dots with some tasks. She was lucky that he wasn't a fighter. More like a well behaved child (oxymoron? lol).
So, there you have it. My 2 cents. 😁

A few things that I found helpful are wipes after they go to the bathroom. I love Water Wipes because they do not have any of the harsh chemicals. Also if you have a detachable shower head that really helps a lot to reach places you otherwise can not get too. They also have some with filters to get rid of the chemicals like fluoride and chlorine..

Someone might've mentioned this already but there is a shower chair with the center part of the seat cut out. This enables you to easily "get in there" with a loofah/brush/showerhead/etc. I bought it through Amazon, you can search for "PCP Shower Safety Seat, Cutout for Easy Cleaning".

I understand this issue completely and in my case, it is absolutely mandatory (all my life) to thoroughly wash/rinse my private areas or I immediately have problems. I have too much arthritis to wash myself and must have a daily shower. In my case there is a safety bar that goes around the entire shower (do you have a safety bar for her to hold on while she is in the shower - in front of her? If not, get one. Immediately as she gets into the shower have her grab that bar, lean over and thoroughly wash/rinse the private areas. Then sit down. I don't think anything else would work. Good luck. Females can be prone to too many issues if they are not cleaned with lots of water daily.

If she doesn't want you to do it, (when she get up from the chair in the shower) I would take liquid soap and poor some down the back close to her butt and some in the front area close to public area. Oh look mom you need to clean there otherwise the soap will irritate you. This forces her to clean closer in the area. If this does work, you're going to force it on her (gently). Maybe she smell so bad because she is not cleaning well after toilet visits. Maybe again you will have to do this do. She will struggle at first, but soon she will forget. My husband did this for his mom.
Good Luck.