I’m trying to help my grandma she’s 83 has dementia I’m her granddaughter and only family left
I have a small child I’m a stay at home mom I have no car right now and I live almost an hour from her
Grandma lives alone I have cameras all over her home recording 24/7 I can see them from my phone
My husband goes to see her when he can and tries to help
My grandma is stubborn, in excellent health, lives alone, Her mind is gone, can’t remember anything, hallucinations, seeing dead relatives forgetting they have died says we are stealing from her and so on.
I’ve been trying to get her to agree to help for years I am not in charge of her medically or anything.
After years she finally put me on one savings account and checking.
Most of her bills are automated. I have only been paying for pool service groceries and handyman services out of her checking. She did this because she knew she could no longer handle things but after she did she told everyone we are stealing from her and buying stuff for ourselves. Not true I have proof.
She refuses to see a lawyer, she did not do any estate planning. I don’t know anything about a will or her wishes or anything. She says to leave her alone it’s none of her business. Talking to her is like beating a dead horse
She has neighbors across the street that have stolen from her. I have checks written to them, they caused her to lose $8000 on a plumbing job, they park their cars in her driveway, just bad people.
I've told them to leave her alone. They won’t. I have them on camera. I’ve told them I’d have their cars towed. The wife called me a b*tch and so on they still park their cars. I can’t tow unless I’m present and I’m never able to make it over there.
The police can’t do much and adult protective didn’t seem interested.
These neighbors called adult protective on me trying to get me in trouble to get back at me for telling them to stay away. Adult protective knows nothing is wrong but I still have an open case because of my grandmas doctor not sending back a form that adult protective wants.
I finally made a doctors appointment with my grandmas doctor but this doctor is useless.
My grandma also refused to let me go back with her again I have nothing stating I have medical POA but my grandma signed a HIPAA form saying I could go back but again refused to let me I ended up talking to her doctor and got no where doctor said she needed an mri and blood work and a home health evaluation.
But nothing is physically wrong with my grandma so I doubt she would be approved for services and if she was it’s like what an hour 3x a week
I mean I give up.
I have called area of aging in Florida they admitted they have no funding or social workers and I could get her on a waiting list that could take up to a year to get her on a program
I’ve called other programs but she won’t qualify because they are Medicaid based she has Medicare and too much mone.y I’ve called alz.org and all they do is listen I’ve called local alz no call back, I mean I’ve hit dead end after dead end.
My grandma has money but if we pay for tons of care it will wipe her out her home is in bad shape that’s why I brought in a handy man.
Now I’m worried I’m going to get in trouble for doing repairs even though I’m joint on her accounts and can do whatever I want with the money technically.
I hired a companion and my grandma yelled at her and the lady called me and quit within an hour.
I hired my brother in law to go 3 times a week for 2-3 hours.
My grandma didn’t agree but hasn’t told me no. She seems to respond to guys better and likes my brother in law.
So I have to pay him now.
I don’t have money to get a lawyer I also don’t want guardianship
I really don’t want to be dealing with this at all I have no family left to help me.
My grandma can’t live with me she also has animals she won’t give up her dog is old and pees everywhere and bites. She had a parrot that bites and 1 cat.
She’s going through 17 cans of cat food in a few days for 1 cat stew dumping food down the toilets and running around at night in the street looking for my grandpa who died 4 yrs ago.
She refuses to sell her home or cars she can’t drive we would like her to sell and live closer or go to a home
Confused on Medicaid 5 yr look back she gave away money so we are screwed if she needs that ?!!!
She did not buy long term care insurance !
Please I can’t handle the stress what do I do. I don’t want to deal with this I don’t want adult protective on me when I’m just trying to help but I can’t force my grandma to do anything legally and people don’t get that
Help me please I’m crying and stressed everyday because of her when I should be worrying about my child.