I like Agingcare.com but where is the forum for aging spouses taking care of their spouses ill with dementia etc?

I object to your saying that you feel unwelcome here on Agingcare.com. May I First point out the top of the page: Agingcare.com Connecting people caring for elderly parents. Uhm…this site IS for Aging Parents. BUT, AC does NOT go around Discouraging posters on commenting about caregiving their spouses. I’ve jumped around enough to know this for the past year. May I ask Where on this site that AC has made you spouses feel unwelcome and like “chopped liver?” If you can find the place where they have done this, please copy and paste the link here. I would Gladly make a formal complaint on your behalf.

Why do you feel you’re unwelcome? Because there’s not enough topics about caregiving your spouse? Have you even checked the search engine on the top right and searched the words “Caregiving spouse”? There are 2286 answers to this topic. If you scroll to the bottom you have the option of searching specifically: Caring Spouse, Spouse Alzheimer’s, Surviving Spouse, Husband Caregiving, Spouse Association, Spouse Partner.

Like BoniChak recommended – make your own thread for caregivers. However, there was one started around January of this year. Unfortunately, those caregiving spouse did not support that thread and it ended in February.

Here is a link where they Tried to do a thread for you spouses. Maybe you can help continue it to grow by posting there. And perhaps you can also inform the other spouses on this site of this link.
https://www.agingcare.com/discussions/caregiving-for-husband-spouse-155578.htm

I want to know why we cannot delete our own posts! Sometimes we all enter something here that we want to take back. I'll bet the psych types are all just waiting for us to crack :-P

Make one. This is about aging people, not just parents. If you want to talk about particular problems with spouse care...start a thread.

A caregiver is a caregiver....it doesn't matter WHO you are caring for.

Flora, there was a thread here in which you married people were commenting. I do believe "sex" popped up - not in detail but..very very general. I was skimming as in speed reading and that caught my eyes. I never realized how much more difficult it is for married couples when one spouse has the dementia. I never thought about...what if your husband who has dementia and absolutely refuses to shower wants to be very very intimate with you in bed? I read that and just cringed. Okay, you all win hands down on that. And I skipped to the next thread. Sorry, I can't remember which thread I read that from. =)

To "Follow" Bellas, just click on her name to get to her profile. When you do, hit the "Follow" button.

Thanks, bellas. To follow a thread, I have found out that I cannot press "Following" on my Kindle. I checked my sis's IPad 2 and the same applies. You can click on the "Following" button on your laptop or desk computer. BUT, you have to make the screen on MAX (not MINIMUM or small like I prefer). Once you have a FULL screen, on the LEFT side of this OUTLINE, are boxes for Share, Like, Tweet, g+1, Comment, Following, Print, Email. Click FOLLOWING.

I found another way to follow when using the Kindle. Comment. Once you comment, sometimes it will pop up on your NEWS FEED (located on the top right box ACCOUNT) If you click NEWS FEED, it will show you the Last comment posted on what you're following.

I just did that, and read Bellas post with my name on the front line. So, I clicked here to see what's up. =)

You are right Book. It DOES say parents. I was assuming it was all caregivers, because I DO see so many caring for spouses, siblings, children etc.I find this to be such a warm and helpful community,( with one or two exceptions ) that I was put off by this "chopped liver" persons attitude as well. One thing I have learned in my long, hard life is.......some people are never happy, no matter what they have . I feel sorry for them.

I just feel bad that I never spoke up when people say anything negative - and other posters - regular posters - stopped posting because of this constant negatives. I'm referring to Jeanne. I feel guilty because I saw over and over the negative comments to her. I didn't see any reason for those comments, and I did Not Respond but let it pass. An incident happened to me in November, and instead of slinking off, I stood up and defended myself. Spent a month licking my wounds and tentatively came back. Now, I find myself defending others - new ones - and not the older posters. After Jeanne,I learned that even the regular posters need Positive Feedback to counter the negatives. Sigh... I try not to attack other people because I know how that feels. I hope I didn't come across as attacking ShariRose.

Hi bellas. I,too, was sooo glad that when I first found this site that I was not hurt by someone's comments. I was way too vulnerable at the time - suicidal from the thought of caregiving forever, in this prison. I found my lifeline here on AC. Absolute strangers helped pull me from the edge. And I still come here for support - which my 6 siblings are not able to provide for me.

As I read about your comment with the counselor and chopped liver, it does make sense now about this displaying as anger with the situation. I'm so glad that your spouse shines his"light" on you daily. {{HUGS}}

book...you saw correctly and cringed appropriately...FloraSteele, I don't post enough to follow me but there is a topic called "How do I handle a sex crazed husband with dementia..." that I believe is still active. Also it might be helpful to go to the top of the page and do as I did to find the site bookluvr came across and just enter the word "sex" and press search. You will have a list appear from which to select, read and follow if they are still active. The sex issue is really a huge problem for the caretaking spouse, so FloraSteele, I do hope you find the link and get connected with others dealing this problem. @bookluvr, you are most kind in trying to help Flora...I love this community! Such a blessing to be able to share the common 'pain' the 'outside' world doesn't understand.