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My husband is incontinent and wears disposables but still manages to get pee all over the side and at the base of the toilet and on the vinyl floor. He is diabetic who has high blood sugar in spite of all the meds he takes and because of his horrible health habits, so the pee is sticky (sorry to be gross).


I have a Swiffer with the wet pads, but it doesn't seem to get the floor clean. Would a sponge mop or a steamer work better? I have also considered a long-handled scrub brush system. Those are smaller and would be easier to store. Also there is a dried on crust of pee around the base of the toilet. Guess I'll have to get on my knees to attack that one. I'm no spring chicken. I don't have storage room in our apartment for a bucket/mop system.


He also had a bowel accident on carpet. I'm not sure I got all the stain removed. Suggestions, please!


I am super sensitive to bad smells, so it's hard for me. No, I cannot afford a cleaning person, and I would be embarrassed for anyone to see how he lives anyway. I'm glad I don't have to use his bathroom.


I am so tired of this. He does nothing to help improve his condition, and I do everything, but that's a complaint for a different board.

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Try hydrogen peroxide in a spray bottle. Spray it on the toilet and base. Let it sit for a few minutes and wipe everything down. It help for stains and oder. Is he able to sit and pee? That may help not be so messy.

Best of luck to you.
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Reply to MamaT65
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Biokleen- Bac- Out and stain remover - whole foods
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Reply to KNance72
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“He does nothing to help” – he’s too important to bother about trivial things like this? He doesn’t have dementia, so that’s not an excuse. I’m not in a ‘forgiving’ vein this morning, and my feeling is to put a stool next to the toilet to help him get down to the problem, then hold off on food until he has done it.
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Reply to MargaretMcKen
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I don't have an answer for how to clean but can tell you what happened here. Flooring was old and stained. I wanted the flooring replaced, which meant remove the toilet. Oh what an ugly mess. Floor had rotted. Got that fixed, new flooring installed and had to replace toilet (long story). I had a long discussion with the plumber - how much caulk do you recommend - some want none, some will caulk part way around base of toilet, etc.....point being if completely caulked, then you won't know if you have a leak. I had them caulk 3/4 around, leaving back open. Beautiful job. Following year, repeat this situation with a second bathroom - rotted floor (surprise?). This new flooring is a lighter color and any dripped pee is visible. Hubs is in denial. I started placing one of those brightly colored microfiber rags (12"x12") in front of both toilets....he simply kicked it out of the way. I don't appreciate getting up in middle of night and ... wet feet. This isn't answering your original question, but you aren't alone with your problem. I can understand men might have a slight drip but don't ignore it and waddle away. If the rag is there and you have a slight drip, then simply use your foot (or cane) to move the rag into place to sop it up....any other action is simply defiant stubbornness. It is becoming very old and I'm tired too. (And yes had same problem with at least two bowel accidents on carpet area. Removed what I could...would have to replace carpet to fix that - not in the budget). Similar defiant issue with new toilet seats - he didn't like the plastic ones - too wobbly, so wanted the wood ones (white). If you don't clean them up right away, the stains don't come off. Figure in the cost of new toilet seat, the ones that he prefers - not cheap - simply because he is too indifferent to keeping the place looking decent...I guess I'm too particular.
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Reply to JLyn69
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I’m wondering if Nature’s Miracle will work. My late dog had pee and poop issues and I used that stuff like mad. It worked great on the carpet, sofa, etc. I also used the pee puppy pads… for my dog AND my aunt. My aunt uses them on the bathroom floor.

Best of luck to you.
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Reply to JustBreathe8
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Okie, there is a product called Sniper, sold online, that has been amazing for my home and office. It is used in hospitals and it sanitizes, removes odor and is odorless. I love it for keeping the bathroom clean.

Can you afford to have a cleaner come in monthly? If yes, I highly recommend that and spraying the bathroom down with sniper daily, that can help with odor between deep cleans. You can safely use this product everywhere and anywhere you need odor control and sanitization, clothing, furniture etc, all safe.

Good luck finding a workable solution.
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Reply to Isthisrealyreal
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OkieGranny: Do try a steam cleaner. Also, perhaps your DH needs a better fitting disposable if he's having this issue.
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Reply to Llamalover47
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Ive had to get right down on my knees with Mr Clean and paper towels.
If he's able, a funnel from Walmart automotive dept. has been very helpful (No doubt that's amusing but it WORKS). I was sick and tired of the mess, smell and another disgusting chore.
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waytomisery Mar 28, 2024
Who cleans the funnel? 😜
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I'm facing a similar issue with my father. It's more challenging for us because we wouldn't normally anticipate this kind of behavior from adults, which takes a toll on our mental well-being. To cope, I liken his actions to those of a pet that hasn't been house-trained, which somehow eases my mind. Although urinal mats from Amazon can be somewhat pricey, they do assist in reducing the odor.
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MaryKathleen Mar 29, 2024
Have you tried puppy training pads at Costco, they come in a yellow box?
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I ordered those blue and white disposable pads that you can use on the bed, I’ll cut to fit around the base of the toilet. When wet, just throw away into a plastic (grocery) bag.
Peeing all over the toilet area makes me so angry!
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JeanLouise Mar 29, 2024
Ugh, I hate it. Just adds to the misery of caregiving
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250 mg of pumpkin seed oil, 2x per day, research has been shown to help reduce the urge to urinate, and assisted with enlarged prostate. Also, you could tell him that if he doesn't clean up after himself then you won't be cooking dinner. If he does keep his bathroom and carpets clean then once per week you'll make his favorite treat (made with pea protein or almond flour and sugar substitute, of course!) My mom was rushing to the bathroom several times per day, took the pumpkin seed oil, and the sudden urges and peeing before reaching the toilet stopped--she's so grateful to not have that anymore! Hope it helps!
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NeedHelpWithMom Mar 28, 2024
That’s so interesting. My mom couldn’t control her bladder later in life.

I find that I have to go to the bathroom more frequently. I am 68. I do drink a fair amount of coffee and tea which is a diuretic.

Have you tried this remedy yourself?
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This what we bought from Amazon & it works very well - COCOER Toilet Rug Mat U Shaped-Contour Bath Mat Rug-Absorbent No Watermarks Dirt Resistant. It was about $20.
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You might look into purchasing an electric spin scrubber. The one I have has an extended handle and several different brush attachments. It is most excellent in getting around the base of toilets, corners, grout, flat services, just about anywhere actually, without having to get down on hands and knees. Plus, you don't have to handle the mess up close and personal. I bought mine on Amazon. Originally, I was just thinking for bathtub and shower, but I've ended up cleaning an 'explosive accident' of my father's and have since discovered many uses for it. So sorry for your situation. Many blessings.
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NeedHelpWithMom Mar 28, 2024
Can you share the brand name and Amazon link for the product for the OP?
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I find that a steam mop cleans the floor very well.

As far as the toilet goes there are so many different products.

Do you rent or buy?

A friend of mine who used the original Comet cleaner was upset when her landlord told her to stop using it.

She loved the product but she was ruining the surface when she cleaned.

Cleaning on a regular basis with Comet scouring powder will damage porcelain toilets.
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MaryKathleen Mar 29, 2024
Need help, My comment comes under the heading, I Can Laugh Now. When one of my children was little, she decided to help me clean house, she used a entire can of Comet on the bathtub. I waited until it dried and vacuumed it up. Of course like you said, it totally wrecked the shine on the tub. I did not scold her, I just told her that next time, not to use so much cleanser. It was never repeated, of course, because she was my "outside" kid. She would do the yard but I had to force ably make her make her bed. (laugh).
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Spray any Shaving Cream around all parts of the toilet, then wipe it all down and let it dry naturally, ( don’t forget the very round bottom of the toilet where caulk is.
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Reply to elizRog1255
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Try a handheld steam cleaner. However, it might deteriorate the caulking at base of toilet over time.

If you don’t want to try that, spray with any bathroom cleaner, let sit for a few hours to dissolve rustiness, the wipe away. Perhaps you could try a disposable pad and wrap around toilet base and floor - you’d have to be careful not to make a tripping hazard.

My husband also can make a mess. I try to go in right after him and wipe up if needed. The longer you let it go, the more difficult it is to clean. But I know it’s difficult when you are the caregiver to do it all.

As for carpet, try one of those enzyme cleaners made for pet messes (they have for human messes too). Remember a fresh stain is always easier to clean than an old set in one.

On carpet follow directions on cleaner and do not rub…blot on an old white towel that you can toss or wash towel with a little bleach when you are done. Blotting with a white towel will let you see the stain transferred from carpet to towel. It’s next to impossible to tell with any other color of towel. I used buy some cheap white towels just for purposes of cleaning carpet stains. Blotting the stain up on a white towel will take a fair amount of time. Keep changing position of towel to a clean area of towel when you see stain coming up. Keep going until you don’t see anymore stain transfer on white towel. Then get another white towel and stand on it over stain to help dry area.

But again, when you see it happen clean it right then if at all possible, or at least as soon as possible,
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Reply to Donttestme
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The pee and poo on carpet and upholstery I can help you.

Dab with an absorbent material (old towel, paper towel, sponge) as much as you can. Mix in a bowl 2 tablespoons baking soda, 2 tablespoons hydrogen peroxide, and 2 tablespoons dish soap. Mix well and then add 2 tablespoons of water. After well mixed poor into a spray bottle. if the material is colored test it in an inconspicuous place 1st. Spray the area with the pee or poo scrub gently with a soft brush. Let it sit for about 5 minutes, dab it dry with a clean cloth. Spray again with fresh water dab it again. Let it dry and the stain and the smell will be gone from the fabric.

The toilet I would clean it with peroxide alone. Soak the crusted thing with peroxide, for a few minutes to soften it up. and then use a brush to scrub it. I am not sure if you would be able to use peroxide on the vinyl flooring.

Hydrogen peroxide works really well on human and pet fluids.

Best wishes
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Reply to SusanHeart
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A steam cleaner really does come in handy and does a good job in the bathroom. You can get in those cracks easily and you know things are being sanitized. We also use a lot of white vinegar which kills bacteria and the smell of urine. We soak moms wet bed pads and clothes in it prior to washing and it has eliminated the constant urine smell that used to exist, unless I’m just getting immune to the scent (I’m not). I spray down the bathroom with vinegar and water in a spray bottle as well every time Mom uses it.
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Reply to Lymie61
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I suggest, for the future, get an external catheter on him so urine will not be an issue. Men's Liberty External Catheter is what we use and Medicare pays for it.
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Reply to IAmTryingStill
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Odoban, it's a enzyme cleaner specifically for urine
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Reply to RockinNikki
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A Mr. Clean Magic Eraser will get the pee crust off the base of the toilet. Spray the toilet with a bleach-based cleaner (Scrubbing Bubbles brand with bleach is excellent). Wait a few minutes, then go at it with the magic eraser. Or even a toilet brush will get that off.

I hope you have a rug shampooer. If you don't, get one. I can't imagine not having a rug shampooer and I don't even live with incontinent people.

There is a product for smells called Pooph!. It's available from Amazon and I think Target too. This product is like a miracle for smells.
I had which I believe is about the most nasty and disgusting job on earth. I was a visiting CNA/caregiver to people in their homes. I did this work for 25 years. If there was no product like Pooph! available years ago. It eliminates every smell. There's even one for the laundry.

Pick up the products mentioned here, and you'll do all right with getting it cleaned up.
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Reply to BurntCaregiver
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Hubbys briefs don't fit right, number 1. Not if he's wearing them full time and pooping on the carpet. And sitting down on the toilet and peeing all over the floor. I'd get him tab diaper type disposables that can be adjusted to fit. Then accompany him to the bathroom to see what's going on with your own 2 eyes. You can lay down puppy training pads around the toilet bowl, but not in front of it to create a tripping hazard. My husband is 66 with no cognition issues and pees all over the floor in the bathroom, because he doesn't pay attention. It's a man thing for many of them. They're ok living in a stinking pigsty too, what do they care? Basically everything magically gets cleaned up FOR them, so paying attention isn't necessary anyway. If you start accompanying dh into the john, maybe HE will start paying more attention, magically.
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waytomisery Mar 23, 2024
Lea,
Regarding the 66 years old ….My husband was always neat until he got old er. It is common for worse aim and more mess as they age because the stream is not as strong , they lose the good arc and they tend to dribble more when they think they are done . Most men have at least some enlargement of the prostate as they get older causing these issues .
My DH had a benign prostate tumor causing urine retention as well . He had surgery .
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Consider laying damp paper towels sprayed with Clorox all around the toilet and base so pee never reaches the floor to begin with. Then just throw them out when necessary and repeat. Be preemptive.
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Geaton777 Mar 29, 2024
Also, my hubs pees sitting down. But I raised 3 boys who didn't and they cleaned their own toilet the minute they were old enough.
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If you look up bathtub scrubber wands. You should find a diamond shaped head on a wand, on Amazon.

Good luck!
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Reply to Anxietynacy
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Thanks to all who replied. He does wear Depends- type garments and he does sit down to pee. I have no idea how he manages to get pee on the floor except that maybe they don't fit snugly enough around the legs and it leaks out the side. As I mentioned, I am getting so tired of this. He sits around all day in just a t-shirt, socks, and Depends. I had to put my foot down to get him to bathe 3 times a week. At this point, I hope he goes into assisted living soon. I'll get a job so that I don't have to live there, too.
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BurntCaregiver Mar 23, 2024
You need some homecare and your husband needs some diapers.
If he's crapping himself, pull-ups are not the right product for him anymore.
He may be at the point where you might want to consider placing him in managed care. There's no shame in having to place someone if you can't provide for their care needs anymore.
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I use Comet bathroom cleaner. Have for years. It has clorox in it and cleans very well. You may need to hand scrub around the toilet floor. I would use a toothbrush around the base to really get into that groove. Yes, time for him to sit.
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BurntCaregiver Mar 23, 2024
Comet. An oldie but goodie. Comet is a good product. I use the Comet soft cleanser with bleach on the kitchen counters because it doesn't scratch.
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Try shaving cream in the bathroom toilet and floor. Let it sit for 30+ minutes or more. That will help with the clean-up and the smell.

I too am super sensitive to smells. I have so many air fresheners all over my dad's house. Before my stepmom passed everything they used was scent-free. I can't do it any longer. I changed all the laundry detergent, fabric softener, bath and body soaps, air fresheners, Fabreeze, etc... I need to smell something other than "old" people smell.
Thankfully my father has been understanding.

I have even baked dozens of cookies to make the house smell nice.

Hang in there.

Starr
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OkieGranny Mar 23, 2024
I'm so happy to see I'm not the only one who can't stand bad smells. People seem to think I'm a sissy or something. I will try the shaving cream, although last time I looked, I could only find gels! I will try Amazon.

He does sit down to pee and still gets it on the floor. As I mentioned in my answer below, it must leak out the sides or something.
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When my late husband was no longer able to get all of his pee in the toilet, I made him sit down to pee every time, as I was tired of cleaning pee off the floor and toilet every day as well.
He didn't like it much at first, but I was insistent and told him he didn't have a choice anymore. I used the bedside commode and put it over the top of his toilet so he was sitting up a bit higher as he was a fall risk, and could use the side handles to get himself up.
As far as getting the poop out of the carpet, any heavy duty carpet cleaner should do the trick, especially if it's designed to get out pet accidents.
It also may be time for your husband to wear Depends(or the like)full-time now if he's pooping on the floor and can no longer get his pee in the toilet. That will be the next step you know, and that step may be here now.
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