I will try to get to the point, I live in New England, my 82 y.o father lives in Florida (formerly from here) hes been there about 6 yrs. He has COPD as well as newly diagnosed lung cancer, (foregoing treatment)
a couple of years ago he fell and broke his femur, and did the hosp/ rehab stint, but went back to living alone (against my wishes) I went there for a few weeks
Last year he was hospitalized again for COPD exacerbation, and while he was hospitalized we packed his belongings up and relinquished his motel room (yes you read that right) this is when he was diagnosed with cancer, he was hospitalized/ rehabbed for a long time I was there 1 month, before discharge we were trying to decide where he was going, my brother is there but is ill-equipped to help with lodging, amongst other things.. I am POA/ HC surrogate. we discussed him coming to NE and living with us but I said he should stay in Florida until winter subsides as to not be a shock to his system, and that in Spring we would revisit the idea so we found an assisted living facility and my dad had been there for 4 months before he went into the hospital again, now he is currently in rehab and discharge is scheduled within 2 weeks, the plan is for hm to go back to assisted living, but.... because of his health and non treating of cancer he will likely be having hospice at some point, the assisted living facility has already talked about it ... I still haven't gone back there YET (it gets costly staying in a hotel ) because im trying to wait until its closer to discharge.
PHEW.. thanks for hanging in if you've read this far, so I will try get to the quandry.. please help me with this i'm lost in my mind
I am really not liking the idea of him having hospice at assisted living, I can assume this means he will likely die there, as his health is declining so is his cognitive ability, his physical ability is limited but hes still able to ambulate moderately with a walker , we will be getting a wheelchair to ease his burden. I have talked with medical staff about bringing him home to NE and they seem to think I would need "permission" from Dr's for him to travel, I don't feel they support this idea, especially the assisted living facility, they have taken it upon themselves to initiate hospice services when he returns, I am feeling very protective and am wanting to "do something" whether it be to bring him home or relocate myself and rent a house and move him in and take care of him (with hospice help)until the time comes. I would be leaving my family here but they are old enough, youngest is a high school senior.
Please help me to get some insight as to this situation, I can't bear the idea of my Dad dying in assisted living.... but realistically will that actually happen ?? the likelihood of him going into the hospital again is relatively high., and my skewed vision about the assisted living facility is hindering my thoughts because they are very money hungry....
help me please ,