My FIL is getting to where he can't live alone. He has a son with POA who lives near him. We live in another state. BIL is a jerk. Won't answer questions when asked about FIL. FIL can't hear to call him. He uses a walker, has health problems, maybe some dementia - BIL won't tell us what neurologist said - they put him on some kind of medication. My husband wants to bring him to live with us. The first I heard of this was husband saying we could install a lift to get him upstairs. All bedrooms upstairs, powder room downstairs. No discussion on making a decision like this. Next time I hear about it, we are visiting FIL, he's angry with the brother and says I'm going to tell brother that I'm taking dad to live with me. My husband is not considering the how-to aspect and I can't bring it up without him getting angry at me. And no, he won't go talk to a professional - says they will "take my side". Who is going to provide care for FIL while my husband is at work? (That would be me but yet my husband doesn't see the need in discussing it with me? At this point, I feel that if I don't have a choice but to say yes.) How do we get him upstairs? He can't hear and has the TV on so loud that you can't stand it. He's cold and has heat turned up really high. I've had female friends in this situation and I know what they went through. What is the answer when there seems to be none?