A very vague question but there are tons of posters here dealing with this issue. If you want more help you might explain how it is directly affecting your life and what the behaviors are and what you can do to help you deal with it
I'm right there with you - those two words say it all. If you are anything like me, that's probably all you can gasp out after having to deal with her all day long. Or, maybe you are still in the discovery phase, having experienced that OMG/AHA moment when you stumbled upon an article that opened your eyes and now everything makes sense. Perhaps you are beyond the discovery phase and are now in the back-tracking phase. The one where you are rethinking the whole "mom is a narcissist" revelation. You feel guilty because she was such a GOOD mom (until you reflect upon the suffocating control, the use of guilt to get you to do what she wanted). Or maybe you feel guilty because she was such an AWFUL mom, why pile more on her?
Now that you have named it, you are probably reading everything you can about narcissistic mothers. At first it made so much sense but the more you read, the less certain you become. And that is an oddly depressing thought because you thought finally you had it figured out - why your mom was so different than all the other moms. I've spent years trying to figure out how an obviously loving mom could be so toxic. During my many Google searches, I stumbled upon 'Covert Narcissism" and there it was, there SHE was.
Chances are, if reading about 'narcissistic mothers' was an empowering moment for you, then regardless of whether or not she checks off all the boxes, she's in there somewhere.
And then again, maybe I'm just having a particularly bad day dealing with my narcissistic mother who doesn't give a damn that she's a 'total' (what they called her at the IRF), she is NOT leaving her home. She's going to buy a car online for when she's better (which will be the twelfth of never). She's preparing to come home....again...after the 6th hospitalization this year and I'm moving out. I'm done. She wants to stay in her home? She can figure it out.
I'm right there with you - those two words say it all. If you are anything like me, that's probably all you can gasp out after having to deal with her all day long. Or, maybe you are still in the discovery phase, having experienced that OMG/AHA moment when you stumbled upon an article that opened your eyes and now everything makes sense. Perhaps you are beyond the discovery phase and are now in the back-tracking phase. The one where you are rethinking the whole "mom is a narcissist" revelation. You feel guilty because she was such a GOOD mom (until you reflect upon the suffocating control, the use of guilt to get you to do what she wanted). Or maybe you feel guilty because she was such an AWFUL mom, why pile more on her?
Now that you have named it, you are probably reading everything you can about narcissistic mothers. At first it made so much sense but the more you read, the less certain you become. And that is an oddly depressing thought because you thought finally you had it figured out - why your mom was so different than all the other moms. I've spent years trying to figure out how an obviously loving mom could be so toxic. During my many Google searches, I stumbled upon 'Covert Narcissism" and there it was, there SHE was.
Chances are, if reading about 'narcissistic mothers' was an empowering moment for you, then regardless of whether or not she checks off all the boxes, she's in there somewhere.
And then again, maybe I'm just having a particularly bad day dealing with my narcissistic mother who doesn't give a damn that she's a 'total' (what they called her at the IRF), she is NOT leaving her home. She's going to buy a car online for when she's better (which will be the twelfth of never). She's preparing to come home....again...after the 6th hospitalization this year and I'm moving out. I'm done. She wants to stay in her home? She can figure it out.
So what's up with your narcissistic mom today? :)