My wife begs to come home from the memory care unit. What can I tell her?

Most of here with loved ones in facilities have dealt with the same thing. In my mother’s case, “home” was her childhood home in the 20’s. I found the more and longer I visited, the worse it was. Some people think they need to visit every day and stay for hours. I visited twice a week for not much over an hour. As was suggested, when she started crying about coming home, I threw the doctor under the bus. I also would tell her that her apartment was being painted, cleaned, etc. I never told her “this is your home now”. I never went into long explanations. I never sympathized with her, like saying, “Oh, Mom, I know you don’t like it here, but you HAVE to stay here because I can’t take care of you.” Short answers then redirect. If she sees you’re upset, she will be as well. This isn’t easy. She associates you with “home”and if she sees hesitation on your part, she will capitalize on it. See if you can get her interested in some of the activities they have. This is what helped my mom.

Chuck; ((((hugs))))!!!! This must be so very sad for you.

Have you talked to her doctor about this? Are her depression and anxiety being treated adequately?

You know, you are an important part of the feedback loop for the mental health professionals who are treating her. My mom always said she was "fine" when the geriatric psychiatrist or Nurse Practitioner asked about her mental state. We knew otherwise!

Aww. Have you told her the doctor orders she be there? Sometimes blaming on the "doctor" can be the ticket.
Stick around Chuck, you will get some helpful answers here.