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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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It’s not reasonable or sustainable to do this. Person with dementia does not get to call the shots, she is told lovingly and firmly how care will be handled. If you can’t handle her in this, it’s time for professional assistance
Are you working with her in a facility? Or are a paid in-home aid? Or is this your relative and you are providing hands-on care in a home? Just asking for better context of your situation. Frequency/urgency can be a symptom of a UTI so it may be wise to have her tested. UTIs are very common in elderly women and they often come with behavioral changes until the infection is treated with antibiotics. I would start by having her tested. If she doesn't have a UTI then remove all her cloth undies and provide only disposable briefs. Then you will need to ignore her asking to use the bathroom. Is she on any meds for anxiety? If not, this may also help.
I am providing 24/7 care for my wife in our home. I get 8 hours of paid respite care each week. She is fitted with a Foley catheter, which works wonders in that she now gets 10 to 12 hours of un-interrupted sleep each night. She sees a urologist and does not have a UTI. This appears to be one of several compulsive behaviors she has developed, even though we have adjusted her anxiety medications as much as possible. Another compulsive behavior is to repeatedly blow her nose and stack the tissues up in neat little rows. Although gross, it is far less dangerous than going to the bathroom repeatedly. She has Multiple Sclerosis that may eventually weaken her to the point she will legally have to go into a care facility because of the two person lift rule. It will not go well for her in a facility. The bathroom problem becomes more intense during sun-downing.
More info from the OP: "I am providing 24/7 care for my wife in our home. I get 8 hours of paid respite care each week. She is fitted with a Foley catheter, which works wonders in that she now gets 10 to 12 hours of un-interrupted sleep each night. She sees a urologist and does not have a UTI. This appears to be one of several compulsive behaviors she has developed, even though we have adjusted her anxiety medications as much as possible. Another compulsive behavior is to repeatedly blow her nose and stack the tissues up in neat little rows. Although gross, it is far less dangerous than going to the bathroom repeatedly. She has Multiple Sclerosis that may eventually weaken her to the point she will legally have to go into a care facility because of the two person lift rule. It will not go well for her in a facility. The bathroom problem becomes more intense during sun-downing."
It doesn't go well, really, for anyone with dementia in care facility. They aren't going to be cured. What is "going well" to you? That she's happy about it? Forget it. You're never going to find any facility that she will be happy about. Ever. She may agree that it's a nice place, the staff are nice and attentive, but she won't want to be there. So drop the excuses to not place her....soon. The care staff in a facility are well trained and very used to every single issue a dementia patient can have. It won't be her favorite way to handle things. It won't be your favorite way to handle things. But it will be realistic.
Since this is your wife and her brain is now permanently broken it is you and only you that gets to call the shots. And thank God that she has a catheter as you don't have to worry about taking her to the bathroom any more. So when she says she has to go, you just change the subject, and take her for a walk(in her wheelchair) around the house or outside(weather permitting)or offer to give her her favorite treat to get her mind off of having to pee. And as far as her wearing Depends, you just throw away all of her old underwear and tell her that you bought her some new "underwear." Perhaps your wife would do well in an Adult Daycare Center as they keep the folks pretty busy with all kinds of fun activities and will keep her mind of having to pee. You can bring her there, or they will pick her up, and she can be there up to 5 days a week and 8 hours a day, and they will feed her breakfast, lunch and a snack, and even give her a shower if needed. Of course there is a cost but worth every penny, and it will give you time by yourself to do what ever you need/want to. So please check out one in your area. I wish you well as you travel this very difficult road with your wife.
Does this person feel they have to urinate or do they feel they have to defecate, and when they get to the bathroom do they do either?
JoAnn is correct that caterers, especially for females, may lead to UTIs or urethritis. Moreover, they are irritating to the opening--the urethra itself.
In either case this frequency if it involved urine is something to discuss with doctor. More a mystery if this is thinking she needs to empty her bowel and cannot, and involves your attempts to find the right thing. W/c bound have a lack of exercise to keep all systems moving well.
Do have a discussion with medical regarding this. Good luck.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
does not have a UTI. This appears to be one of several compulsive behaviors she has developed, even though we have adjusted her anxiety medications as much as possible. Another compulsive behavior is to repeatedly blow her nose and stack the tissues up in neat little rows. Although gross, it is far less dangerous than going to the bathroom repeatedly. She has Multiple Sclerosis that may eventually weaken her to the point she will legally have to go into a care facility because of the two person lift rule. It will not go well for her in a facility. The bathroom problem becomes more intense during sun-downing.
Sounds like a uti or some type of bladder inflamation.
This could be urethritis irritation from the catheter.
And thank God that she has a catheter as you don't have to worry about taking her to the bathroom any more. So when she says she has to go, you just change the subject, and take her for a walk(in her wheelchair) around the house or outside(weather permitting)or offer to give her her favorite treat to get her mind off of having to pee.
And as far as her wearing Depends, you just throw away all of her old underwear and tell her that you bought her some new "underwear."
Perhaps your wife would do well in an Adult Daycare Center as they keep the folks pretty busy with all kinds of fun activities and will keep her mind of having to pee. You can bring her there, or they will pick her up, and she can be there up to 5 days a week and 8 hours a day, and they will feed her breakfast, lunch and a snack, and even give her a shower if needed.
Of course there is a cost but worth every penny, and it will give you time by yourself to do what ever you need/want to. So please check out one in your area.
I wish you well as you travel this very difficult road with your wife.
JoAnn is correct that caterers, especially for females, may lead to UTIs or urethritis. Moreover, they are irritating to the opening--the urethra itself.
In either case this frequency if it involved urine is something to discuss with doctor. More a mystery if this is thinking she needs to empty her bowel and cannot, and involves your attempts to find the right thing. W/c bound have a lack of exercise to keep all systems moving well.
Do have a discussion with medical regarding this. Good luck.