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My Uncle is my mother's caregiver and POA and he is refusing to let me see my mom. I was told if I am ever allowed to see her my Uncle has to be in the room with us and I am to sit in a chair by her bed with my hand folded in my lap. I was wondering if this is legal or not? My mom wants to see me but also doesn't want to upset my Uncle. On a side note I am not allowed to know when she is in the hospital she has gotten in trouble for telling me one time because I went to the hospital without telling anyone I was going. Now she can't talk to me on the phone unless I am on speakerphone so my Uncle can hear our conversation. Please I need any advice I can get thank you in advance.

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Sounds like there is more to the story here. Can you freely explain why your uncle is POA and not you or another sibling? Also, POA's usually have control over finances and medical decisions, not day to day activities and personal relationships. Please explain how it got to this point. Thanks
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I don't believe it is legal for your Uncle to not permit you to see your Mother UNLESS there is a court order. So, is there a court order signed by a Judge that has a restraining order against you? If not, you can see your Mother if she agrees to see you as much as you want, POA or not. Please elaborate more.
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kimberlitas Sep 2019
Hi mstrbill, I sent you a private message.
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Unless there is more going on here, it sounds like a form of elder abuse, especially since you stated she is afraid of her brother. If you suspect true abuse and your uncle has her PoA, maybe it's time to consult an elder law attorney for options. Good luck!
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Did your uncle make these decisons out of the blue, so to speak, without any incidents precipitating them?
I will only say this; I cannot know his "side of things" without his posting. But if I were you I would tell my Uncle, "Yes, please. I will do ANYTHING to see my Mom. Can you please tell me what you need from me, and let me know when I can see her?" And then I would show up and I would fold my hands in my lap and I would make it a wonderful visit for my Mom. I would do ANYTHING to be able to visit my Mom again. She is gone for many years, was a wonderful woman, and I would do ANYTHING, even stand on my head for the visit duration".
I am sorry you are going through all this. Family trauma makes things so much more difficult. Do anything you can possibly think of to please your uncle would be my advice for just now, because it appears that he is the Lion at the Gate.
I honestly do not know LEGALLY what your Uncle can do to prevent you seeing your Mom; You might want to buy an hour of time with an Elder Law Attorney to ask if there is any way you can arrange a visit with your Mom legally. At least you would know if there is something you can do.
But I would start by doing whatever I could, offering help and support to the Uncle in his care of the Mom. I am assuming of course that his care of your Mom is good.
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His POA does not cover Mom if she is competent. Even if she is, he can't keep u away without good cause. Call APS and see if they can help. I agree, this is abuse of his authority. POA is a tool not guardianship.
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I use to be a drug addict I'm not going to lie. I went to jail on October 5 2017 when I called her from jail to tell her what I got sentenced to ( 6 years probation and one year house arrest) my Uncle informed me that he is was in charge of her and I could call her in a year and we would take it from there well I got out of jail December 12 2017 and I have not been in any trouble since. I have been sober since October 2017 there is no restraining order against me but my Uncle has told me that if I step foot on the property without permission he will press trespassing charges on me. My Uncle and I have never gotten along. I hope this answers some questions about my situation
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mstrbill Sep 2019
Carrie, first of all congratulations on your almost 2 years of sobriety. I wish you continued success with that.

You need to realize that from your Uncle's point of view he is protecting his sister. If your Mom lives with him on his property, then yes, he is in his right to not allow you there. I don't think however he can legally prevent you from seeing her outside of his property. I'm curious though about the hospital incident. How did Mom get in trouble? Trouble by whom? What do you mean by that? What did he do to her? Again, I don't think POA has that authority and I don't know enough about the laws to know if he can prevent you legally from seeing her without a restraining order. I can think of two options, try to play nice with uncle and accommodate his demands so you can see Mom on his terms or go to the authorities, either an attorney or police to see what they would advise.
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