My mother had Lewy Body dementia, COPD, vascular/circulatory issues, and a couple of other conditions. I have been her primary caregiver for 10 years...my life was basically on hold, but I didn't think twice about caring for her. After her passing, it hit me that all of the tasks I used to perform daily are no longer needed. In the subsequent days, I have constantly been reminded that "I won't have to do this anymore...". It's almost like I have a long list of tasks and duties in my head that line by line is being erased, until nothing is left but a blank sheet.
In a span of about 2 weeks, my Mom's condition declined drastically; she was no longer able to support herself walking, barely ate or drank, and the dementia was taking a firmer hold. My sister and I decided that we needed professional help with her care, so we arranged for in-home hospice care. The team we had was phenomenal. She survived for 6 days before peacefully slipping away in her sleep. This was the best possible outcome for her, given the number of health issues she had.
Although I am at peace that she died so peacefully at home with us, and will no longer suffer, the question that looms large in my mind is...what do I do with myself now? I loved that little woman, and we had such a wonderful bond...I miss her so....what do I do now?