More than 10 years ago my grandfather leaving my grandmother with no income. I was paying her bills and mine (as a single parent) . When I could no longer afford two houses, grandma and I agreed I would move into her home. She was in her mid seventies then. Over the years her need for care has increased, I didn't really notice until 2 years ago. When she started putting dirty dishes away, and forgetting to change clothes, and some other things. I talked her into not driving anymore leaving me to provide transportation. This year she seems to have gotten much worse, in fact I have been on FMLA since November just to take care of her.
We are now at a point where I have to do most everything for her, even in the sense of thinking. She no longer has the ability to make decisions. Not that she's not there, just that it overwhelms her to think about it. She can still shower herself if I remind her to, and physically dress her self. However I must place her clothes in the laundry basket every night or she will wear the same thing every day. She has renal faliulre so bladder leaks have been a thing for years. She is now losing control of her bowels. Sometimes leaking on herself, as well as when she does make it to the bathroom she leaves a mess everywhere. Commode, floor, toilet paper, etc. I have noticec she isn't brushing her teeth. I almost can't leave her alone in a room.
All that venting (thanks it helped) to say my son now 25 (still lives at home with us, and helps alot) says it is time to place her. He claims that she has reached a point that home care it not what is in her best interest.
I disagree, I think I can still handle it--- even through I am very tired and waiting for an opportunity to have my own life. I beame a mom 2 weeks after high school. Just as my boys reached teens we move in with grandma. Now that my boys are both grown I am caring for grandma full time. Mom passed 17 years ago so I am in this pretty much alone. One son helps alot the other does not, nor does my only sibling.
As her sole caregiver and POA, I am the one to make the decisions. How do I know when to place her?
I hate feeling guilty for wanting to have my own life... but I am 43 and have never been able to just do me.
If I were not here grandma would have gone to a home a few years ago.
I have no idea what to do?