Follow
Share

What can we do? My sister is the POA to my dad who is dying. She stole his money, there’s a lot of elderly abuse going on. My mother can’t even see him, he only has so much longer to live. We were supposed to go to court for guardianship today January 13, 2022. She had a continuance so she can keep us from seeing him because we don’t have much time. She has been on drugs and it looks like we have no choice but to wait another month to see my father if he lasts that long. I feel like the laws in Nc are so screwed up that they won’t even allow his family to see him even though it’s his dying wish. Is there anything I can do? Or it was either us fighting for guardianship or the state said they were going to take him away from my sister. Because she’s that bad. But for now she decided she was going to Go for a continuation in the courts so it would waste some time for us to see him. We might not have a month left. What else can we do? Please we’re doing everything we can to fight to see my father and for him to see his wife.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
If it would move things along faster, why not allow the state to have guardianship? At least you'd get to be with him and the financial guardians might be able to see the theft you say is happening and build a case against your sister. Just a thought, if even an option.
Helpful Answer (9)
Report
Rick10 Jan 2022
That is the main question. Why is it a bad thing for the state to get involved. I had to get the state, Department of Human Services, Elder Abuse division involved with my sister. The lady with DHS sure took care of a problem in one day that I was told by her bank I would have to get a lawyer to get them to release funds for her AL care. I had a POA, I had her admission paperwork to the AL center, I had her first billing. I had the doctor's letter to the AL center confirmed her needs. And still Regions bank refused to even allow the center to draft their fees. All because a just out of college branch manager locked her account. DHS told them to release the funds or her next call was to the DHS legal department and every local TV newscast would be informed. I understood the bank had responsibilities, but as DHS said, all I wanted was to allow the AL center to draft their fees. The kicker was her deceased son had stolen her money, charged thousands on her cards. She had $1.85 cents in her bank account but her SS and Florida state pension was on auto deposit to Regions and it is just enough to cover her AL costs. Sometimes you have to flank the problem to defeat it. Why not let the state take a look.
(4)
Report
Since you suspect abuse of a vulnerable person (physical or psychological) you are obligated to call Adult Protective Services. You do not need an attorney to do this; just make the call and ask them to investigate immediately. Just give the facts you have observed, including that family is denied access.
Helpful Answer (9)
Report
Jada824 Feb 2022
If the elder tells them everything is fine the investigation stops there.

Most often it’s the “golden child” doing the abuse and the elder thinks they’ll get them in trouble if they speak our.
(0)
Report
All courts are screwed up. But contact an attorney with your story to see if he would order an emergency review of that POA and the current health situation. A judge may suspend that POA if he/she see a high probability of elder abuse and misuse of the POA. Be sure to check for any further documents that your Dad has signed, like a hand written will. If you end up in court and a continuance is considered, ask the judge to suspend or limit the POA. You may need some witnesses willing to be present. Don't bother deposing a witness as its usually not even considered by a judge as the other side has no chance to challenge the statement or question the witness. At any rate, you must contact an attorney that can ask the judge for an emergency, temporary hearing. Be prepared to answer questions not only about your sister's issues but any claims she makes against you. When was the POA signed. Why and how did your sister manage to get it. Who were the witnesses. Did they know what they were witnessing. One question..if she is "that bad" and no reason to doubt you, why would it be a bad thing if the state took control. Isn't getting your sister's care put aside in the short term? The state isn't going to keep you away like your sister has done.
Helpful Answer (6)
Report

Echoing Chris52 below, immediately, call the Social Services or Elder Abuse offices or hotline. Report what is happening.
Helpful Answer (5)
Report

Does the rest of the family have an attorney to represent you against your sister?  If not, why not?   Given the circumstances you describe, you need legal counsel.

Your own attorney could have challenged any continuance, requested injunctive relief, and could have raised the issue of suspected fraud and crimes against an elder.

You need to get an attorney with experience in contested estate planning issues, the broader category of the situation you're facing.  Don't get just an elder attorney, get one with litigation experience. 

The attorney might recommend (and I would strongly agree) that the immediate course of action is to request injunctive relief, through a TRO (Temporary Restraining Order).   This would prevent your sister from any further action or expenditures, if the attorney includes that relief in his Motion.  

This would also likely trigger court involvement and supervision, but it seems from your description that this is what's needed to restrain your sister, initiate a (forensic?) accounting, and protect your father's needs

Good luck, and don't waste any time; this needs to happen quickly.
Helpful Answer (5)
Report

mreguero12: I urge you to telephone the following toll free phone number for assistance in reporting elder abuse in the state of North Carolina. Stay on the line with the phone number 800-662-7030 and there is an option to press to report abuse. This sister's abuse must be halted. I pray that I am not too late in assisting you with this phone number since I am already three days' late in viewing your post and I apologize for that. In addition, you should retain an elder law attorney.
Disclaimer: I tested that phone number to make sure it was correct.
Helpful Answer (5)
Report

File for elderly abuse - emergency. My question is: If his wife is competent, then the law automatically gives her full rights.
Your sister is bluffing you. D owatever you need to do to get this taken care of even if she never speaks to you again.
Also, she will have to PROVE that SHE has spent the money correctly. Otherwise, she will not only lose POA but be liable under the law.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

I’m sorry for your predicament. How did your sister with her issues end up with all this control? What is the deep seated reason for her to keep everyone away? Does she hope to gain further? I do hope you have an attorney. In the meantime, send love to your father through prayers and meditation. It will be good for you both.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

Contact alliance for better long term care giving if he’s in a nursing home. That’s how I got to see my dying mom when my brother wouldn’t let myself or my sons visit my dying mom.

It doesn’t matter if she has POA or not….she’s not acting in his best wishes. Best of luck to you!
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

If you suspect he is being abused, report it to the authorities right away. They must investigate per the laws in every state.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

See All Answers
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter