Do I have any say so when my mom asks me almost daily to bring her home with me? My mom has had a fear of nursing homes for over 50 years. To say it’s her worst nightmare come true is putting it mildly. She continues to state that she wants to revoke my sisters power of attorney because she never thought that she would put her in a home. I am willing and able to bring her back home with me where she was living previously. Do I have any rights here?
Did your sister have the legally required documentation, such as doctor's statements that your mother is not competent, when she placed your mother in the nursing home?
She is scared because she grew up in the age when nursing homes were only a few steps up from insane asylums. Things have changed.
And it takes time to adjust to a new place and new surroundings. Give it time.
No one wants to go into a nursing home or ALF. But there is no choice when things are no longer safe at home.
So this comes down to whether mom is legally incompetent to make changes in her POA documents.
If I'm honest, putting someone in a nursing home is a pretty dicey way to try to get someone's money - for a few reasons. Let's say that she comes in and spends it all - and there is no money left for mom's SNF payments - then there is a good chance that your sister is putting herself on the hook for mom's care if she runs out of money and has to apply for Medicaid. There is a 5 year lookback period during which your mom's money can't be gifted or transferred for anything but HER needs. And if she doesn't try to spend it now - and as you say mom doesn't have much money - using it to pay for a SNF is going to drain that money pretty quickly - leaving nothing for either of you, as her money should be used for her care.
What we see here more often in siblings who just want the money is that they will let the other sibling take on all of the hands on care at home and insist that mom can't go to a SNF because they can't afford it, so that the money is not spent.
There is no inheritance until someone passes. And spending your mother's money now is a good way for your sister to spend the rest of her life caring for your mother herself because she gifted herself that money.
You need to confirm that your sister is the legal POA.
There are two POAs, Financial and Medical. Medical does not have the power to place someone because they are not in charge of Finances. All Medical does is to make sure the principles wishes are carried out. To talk to healthcare staff and Doctors and make decisions for health not covered in the POA.
As a POA, neither financial or Medical can use Moms money for anything but Moms care. 150k is not going to go far at 10k a month for the NH. Mom will eventually need Medicaid and they go back 5 yrs. Any money not used on Mom is considerd gifting and that causes penalties.
Please get that lawyer, now.
move her is to get back at your sister?
Please do not reply on posts this old. It brings them back to the top.
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