She was in a nursing home and missed her cats so much we brought her home. There is no way we can tell her the cat is ok, she will know he is gone. We are planning to have a vet come in and euthanize the cat while we have her out. Then when we get home we will have the cat there and she can think he passed naturally. She is a very difficult person and thinks there is nothing wrong with him. He has been peeing all over the house and it’s very unhygienic. There is no way she can be part of the process because she thinks he is fine and will refuse to have him put down. We thought about saying “oh he’s in the hospital he’ll be home soon” every day forever but I think she is too high functioning for that.
Hope everything goes well, just say you honestly DID feel kitty was unwell, blah blah, and he looks to have gone in his sleep, blah blah. There are times lies are the only comfort left in the face of all the losses.
It's a shame you didn't leave her in the nursing facility she was in as I'm sure in no time she'll have to return there anyway as no one with dementia should be living by themselves. Period, end of sentence.
You can always bring her cats to visit her in the facility when she ends up back there, except of course the one that will be euthanized.
However, I totally understand the unhygenic and exhausting part of cleaning up after this daily. Have you tried to rehome the cat? Or take it to a no-kill shelter? How old is the cat? Older cats are much more difficult to rehome.
Have you considered taking her and the cat to the vet so that the vet can be the bearer of bad news? Would she remember that conversation? Would she then be more amenable to making the decision herself to euthanizing her cat? You can tell her you are no longer willing to clean up after (and she may not care if she has any dementia at all).
I don't envy you, and wish you success in resolving this situation.
Where was the cat while she was in AL? Maybe the changes in routine of a 16-yr old cat are more than it can handle...?
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