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She lives in a 2 story home in Seattle/Everett, WA area and there is only a half bath on first floor. She has been sleeping on couch since she got out of hospital and can’t make it upstairs to the shower. She has not washed her hair in a month. I want to help her but I live 1,200 miles away! Her husband and son are taking care of her.

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So if you live 1200 miles away how do you know she hasn't washed her hair in a month? What have her husband and son been doing all this time? Maybe get them on the phone and ask them what's going on. They don't seem to be "taking care" of her. How old is your sister? Is she the one telling you her hair isn't getting washed? She needs to get her live-in family members to figure this out, not you. I understand that you're concerned for your sister but if 2 people living right there can't make it happen then what are you supposed to do from so far away? None of this story seems right from your sister's end. More information would be helpful.
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Can the husband and son take her to a nearby salon and pay to have her hair washed? Maybe weekly?
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Isthisrealyreal May 10, 2025
Perfect solution to more things than this issue alone.
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I guess I don't understand...why is it incumbent on you, her 1200 mile away sister, to find a service to come into her home and wash her hair when she lives with at least one other (I'm assuming, anyway) competent adult?
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There are such services. Google it for her area.
However, unless her husband and son have no arms, I don't understand why they can't shampoo her hair. Good grief.
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There are shower caps that have shampoo in them. Her family could help her.

Home health can wash her hair and help with hygiene. So she expects you to travel that far to help her? Maybe she isn’t asking for help?
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Ask her doctor to hook her up with a CNA ( certified Nurses assistant ) They do Bathing and deal with hygiene .
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I am presuming your sister cannot walk up the stairs to her bathroom shower?

If this is a permanent issue she will need a permanent solution. Like a stair lift or even a change in home?

However, maybe this is a small fracture, expected to heal? Maybe she is wearing a neck brace for several weeks.

Can she stand? Is there a local friend with a large shower? Maybe room for a shower chair (for added safety). Or a local swimming pool with accessible showers?

If unable to stand, the hair can be washed laying down. It's time consuming but can be done in bed. Hair wet, shampooed up then a few rinses while laying the head on a few towels.

If her family are not up for that, yes, hiring a CNA seems a good solution.

PS Dare I ask about the toileting issue?
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There are dry shampoos. Look up "shampooing for bedridden person" it shows different blow up sinks.

I would also say that sleeping on a couch indefinitely is not good. Your BIL needs to speak to her doctor about some "in home" help. She could get a hospital bed. Maybe an area of the house can be made up as a bedroom. Maybe get her upstairs and thats where she stays. If this will be a permanent problem, they need to sell and move.
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Care.com might be an option for you.

I looked up on Google for traveling hair stylists in the Everett area. Here's Google's response:

Spectrum Mobile Hair:

Provides professional cutting and styling services in the home for individuals with special needs, seniors, and those who find it difficult to travel to a traditional salon, according to their website. 

Home Health Haircuts:

Offers in-home haircuts specifically for the elderly, home-bound individuals, and those with mobility challenges, as mentioned on their website. 

Senior Salons:

Specializes in providing salon services within senior living communities in the Greater Seattle area, offering a range of hair and nail services, according to their website. 
A-Traveling Hair Service:

Offers a variety of hair services, including cuts, blowouts, coloring, and more, with stylists trained to work with the elderly, ill, and incapacitated.
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Beethoven13 May 13, 2025
Yes. I found a stylist at the local Super cuts who was agreeable and eager to come to my elderly parents house for a haircut. About 3 miles from the salon. She charged $25.00 and we tipped generously. I called a local fancy salon, less than 0.5 miles away, they quoted me $130. For a haircut. Look for people who are willing and want to help and compensate them as you can. IMO, this should be common place but it’s not, yet. I also asked caregivers who had cosmetology skills or were in training or had friends.
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What is the long term prognosis?
Will she continue to recover and be able to navigate stairs? Or is this a permanent disability?
If this is temporary:
The doctor should order a Hospital bed and any other equipment that is needed so that your sister is SAFE being cared for and living at home. Sleeping on a sofa is not safe, not supportive.
If this is a permanent disability:
I hate to say it but either renovating their current home so that it is accessible for her now and later
or
Looking for another home that has either been renovated so it is accessible or has been built accessible or can be renovated more easily than their current home.

there are dry shampoos (much better than the ones I recall for many years ado)
there are disposable washing "cloths" that are no rinse and can be used on the hair.
Hiring a caregiver that would come in a few days a week to give her a shower. If she is sleeping on the couch I would imagine with the help of a trained CNA she would safely manage the stairs for a wonderful shower.
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Try her County Office of Aging. They can come in and evaluate the situation. Maybe find these men some resources.
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They sell caps that have a no rinse solution. You can find them on Amazon.
Also, when my mom was with me, I read to put water in a spray bottle
to wet the hair. Use another spray bottle with water and shampoo.
Then, use just the bottle with water to rinse. Also, a wet washcloth can to used to rinse. Like what you would do for a baby.
My mom passed before I could try it.
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Hello: Can she travel in a car, Where you could take her into a salon like J.C. Penny's.
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Any homecare agency can send a CNA (Certified Nursing Assistant) to your sister's home and get her washed up. I was a homecare CNA for many years so I'm telling you it's not hard for an expereinced CNA to get this work done.

Your sister should not be sleeping on a couch. That is unacceptable. She must have a hospital bed that can be raised and lowered and that has side rails. This is the only way a person can safely be given a bedbath and have their hair washed. Get her a hospital bed. Rent one. I am shocked that she was discharged from rehab or a hospital to home without any measures taken to make her home safe.

When she has a hospital bed, her hair can be washed with regular shampoo and here's how.

1) On a drawsheet, pull the person as high up in the bed as possible so the end of the mattress is where their neck is. Then raise the foot of the bed to the highest position comfortable so they don't slide down.

2) Set up a table with containers of warm water next to the bed.

3) I always used a large outdoor cooler to catch the water. Position it right at the end.

4) Then shampoo the hair as you would any person. Then rinse. After you're done pull the cooler into the kitchen and empty it.
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She needs a medical bed - can be through insurance but doctor must authorize it.
NO-RINSE body-hair wash is available so she doesn't need to get out of bed.
Caps sold via Amazon that you place on your head to wash hair.
Depending on some salons they may have a person willing to come out to the home to do hair - for a fee. When my daddy was ill and could not get out of the bed I called the salon and they came out and cut his hair - I paid the regular fee and tipped her a lot because she had to bring her portable salon items. It was worth it!
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CaringWifeAZ May 15, 2025
Ohwow, and Burnt,

A medical bed is a good idea! I didn't even think of that!

Yes! They can have a medical supply company deliver it, set it up on the first floor of the house, then pick up when no longer needed.
Doctor's order (prescription) will be needed for this.
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They make waterless hair shampoo. It’s a bag you put in the head with a gel you massage into the hair. You remove it then dry.
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Contact Grace Connections Home Care
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My mom is bedridden. I have a service that comes by once a day for an hour and changes and cleans her and changes the bed linens if need. They recommended that I get the hair wash caps off of Amazon. You put warm water in the cap, put it on the head, then "wash" the hair. No rinse is needed.
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Mythmara May 15, 2025
Interesting. What area of the country/world are you? If USA, what is the name of the service?
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Like others here, I am somewhat confused by this scenario.
So many questions!
Such as; Why can she not go up the stairs?
Why is she sleeping on the couch? I can't imagine that is a good position on one's neck.
Why are her husband and son not managing this?
Why are you trying to manage this?

Yes, there are in-home care options for helping her with bathing and hair washing. There are also caps you can buy with a shampoo in them, which are gently massaged on the head, then removed with no rinse needed.
She surely must have a friend or neighbor with an accessible shower she can use, or even a good enough friend to help her with the task.
It feels like you don't have the complete story. This doesn't sound like an unsolvable dilemma. Surely the husband can figure out a way, unless he is completely useless.
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When my mom sat in reclining wheelchair, I’d take off top part of wheelchair back , put towel around her neck., use spray bottle to wet hair, shampoo, rinse with big wet washcloth , dry. Easier when she sat up . No leaning backwards into sink. She couldn’t. Now she’s in nursing home & the CNA washes hair in bed. How that is done is beyond me.the other day I had to tell nurse to tell a.m. CNA to wash her hair. I can tell if it’s washed or not. They think if they skip it I won’t notice…they’re wrong.
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Is she wearing a halo? I ask because about 40 years ago my dad broke his neck in a car accident and the hospital fitted him with a halo. Not sure they even do this anymore, it was so long ago. Anyway, Mom used to have Dad lay on his back on the kitchen counter and she washed his hair in the kitchen sink. It worked like a charm.
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Is your sister have temporary or permanent injury!? How about a facility, ordered by her doctor?
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I use a plastic inflatable hair washing basin I bought on Amazon to wash my mother’s hair. She is bedridden. I remove her pillow and replace it with the inflatable sink with a towel under it. Not sure that would work for her because of her injury. She would need to be in bed with someone at the head of the bed doing the washing. Works well for me.
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Please have your sister's husband contact her insurance company to help with this request. They should be able to send an aid to assist with sponge bathing her. A temporaru hospital bed should be provided by insurance. I can't imagine sleeping on the cpych is a good or healthy, healing solution for her. There are prescription waterless shampoos; she can sit or lay and have her hair washed by the aid that is sent out. They should be able to do this while they sponge bathe her.
Her doctor should be contacted, ASAP. He is obviously aware of her surgery and limitations. He should write an order for her care needs and send it to her insurance company ASAP for approval. She may be qualified to go to a rehab facility (per her doctor's order to her insurance company) to heal and receive assistance with the daily help she requires until she is taught how to do it on her own, receive physical thereapy, and well enough to be discharged back home for self care.
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