My adult daughter moved into the upstairs apartment in my mother’s house. She’s just starting out and can’t afford an apartment on her own. My wife and I thought it would be a “win-win” because my 89 year old mother had been living by herself since my father passed in 2002. We felt that our daughter could look after and be company for her. Here’e the issue. My mother is constantly in my daughter’s apartment moving things to where she wants them, unplugging things (she’s of the mindset that leaving things plugged in will cause a fire even though all the outlets are properly wired), adjusting the thermostat down to where it was when my grandparents were alive, and over feeding her cat. She will not respect my daughter’s space. I have tried to explain repeatedly that it’s her space now, and that time marches on. She refuses to accept it and we do nothing but fight with her. Any suggestions would be appreciated as my wife and I are at the end of our ropes with her.
Cut everyone's losses now and tell your daughter it was a mistake to move in with gram. Let her get a job and save for her own place where she can do what wants when she wants w/o interference. Or find a room to rent with other gals her age.
Or, butt out of this chaos totally and let THEM work it out!
Save your relationships with BOTH of these women, that's the wise thing to do.