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She always asks me when he is coming home as the evening goes on. Mom has Dementia.

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I am so sorry. Yes, that must be very upsetting.

I bet you look like your dad.

Your sister doesn't get the final decision on this if she isn't the one caregiving. You are.

She is correct that you will see some decline with a move, but that shouldn't stop you from getting her the care she needs. Not to mention the social stimuli that happens in a facility. (Obviously not currently, but it is short term.)

Best of luck getting mom in a facility that can meet her needs.
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Your profile implies there was a promise made to not move your mom into a NH. This is not a keepable promise and I would not feel guilty about not being *able* to honor it. Many, many adult children make this promise because they (and parents) have NO idea what they are committing to. This cancels the promise. Regarding the sundowning behavior, is it possible to trade shifts with your sister during that time of day? Or hire a agency caregiver for those afternoon/evening hours? I cannot imagine having to replay that day after day. I wish you all the best as you figure out the best care you and your family can provide.
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I think knowing that I’m not alone in this and that many are going through it is a help in itself. My sisters health is not to great. We all know Mom will eventually be in a facility but in the mean time after work my work begins. Time to shift gears now. Tks for the reply’s.
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