My father passed away nearly 5 years ago and my oldest brother is his namesake. He lives in a different state and when mom speaks with him on the phone she thinks she’s talking to her husband. She wants to visit him or move to be with him. After the call she’s very confused and tired. Everything I read tells me to go along with her current story, but I have to say, this lie makes me really uncomfortable. Has anyone else dealt with this situation?
"I know you miss him mom; he can't come right now".
"The doctor says that you are not well enough to travel right now; let's talk to him at your next appointment".
Would those work?
I would encourage your brother to make a point of saying who he is, Hi mom it's your son, how are you? I would say it multiple times during the conversation and when he is hanging up maybe say something about loving her and dad and missing them both.
It obviously hurts her to believe that she can't be with her husband, so I would do everything possible to help her hear and maybe understand it's her son.
I would just let it go and chalk it up to dementia and just use a vague response to deal with it.
There seem to be lots of odd and awkward things family and caregivers are forced to deal with.