So sad. It was 2 weeks ago.
She didn't have her affairs in order, I don't even know where all of her money is.
My father opened a bank account and got the checks the day before the funeral.
They have misc. accounts everywhere. My father won't go through his mail and fights me when I try to help. His bills are past due.
I know he is grieving but he has always been this way, my mother as well. I begged her to get her affairs in order for my sake and she never did. They were never responsible with their money.
I am left with a mess and a father that won't let me help and a sister that made my mother change her will 1 week before she died.
Just venting, it's a mess.
Your mother had a will. If there is an executor, that is the person who is dealing with "the mess".
Leave your father be. Allow yourself time to grieve, to heal and move on
Do you know what kind of change your sister had mom make to her will? Was your mom legally competent to change her will?
If she was competent, there is nothing you can do and you need to find a way to make peace with it and grieve your mom.
What are your dad's issues?
If it's true that your family, for whatever reason, is trying to distance from you, then maybe this is time for you to take care of yourself and blow them off.
Like a lot of people said I have to walk away I should have a long time ago
I have a bag with his paperwork and bills I will set the bills to auto pay and then I am done
He is sitting in self pity (he was the same way when my mother was in the hospital) He puts his head down when anyone says anything practical and feels sorry for himself.
It's all about him, it always was. Selfish bastard
My father went to his doctor and he is ok with his catheter now.
He did let me gather up his bills and get his bank account numbers believe it or not. I am setting him up for auto pay.
My sister has said often she hates us both so we have no contact with her. IDK what was changed in the will. She had it done one week before my mother died as I said. My mother was in terrible pain in the hospital when it was done and was probably on some sort of opioid.
The lawyer also kicked everyone out of the room when he came to change the will including my father.
She never had POA my cousin did. My father was the executor of the old will. If he is still the executor and he can't handle it (he probably can't) I will get POA for him with me as the POA
My father is seeing his lawyer tomorrow
I don't hate him I am just frustrated. Which hurts extra because I am dealing with my loss at the same time.
Thank you all (((hugs)))
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