So sad. It was 2 weeks ago.
She didn't have her affairs in order, I don't even know where all of her money is.
My father opened a bank account and got the checks the day before the funeral.
They have misc. accounts everywhere. My father won't go through his mail and fights me when I try to help. His bills are past due.
I know he is grieving but he has always been this way, my mother as well. I begged her to get her affairs in order for my sake and she never did. They were never responsible with their money.
I am left with a mess and a father that won't let me help and a sister that made my mother change her will 1 week before she died.
Just venting, it's a mess.
My father went to his doctor and he is ok with his catheter now.
He did let me gather up his bills and get his bank account numbers believe it or not. I am setting him up for auto pay.
My sister has said often she hates us both so we have no contact with her. IDK what was changed in the will. She had it done one week before my mother died as I said. My mother was in terrible pain in the hospital when it was done and was probably on some sort of opioid.
The lawyer also kicked everyone out of the room when he came to change the will including my father.
She never had POA my cousin did. My father was the executor of the old will. If he is still the executor and he can't handle it (he probably can't) I will get POA for him with me as the POA
My father is seeing his lawyer tomorrow
I don't hate him I am just frustrated. Which hurts extra because I am dealing with my loss at the same time.
Thank you all (((hugs)))
Like a lot of people said I have to walk away I should have a long time ago
I have a bag with his paperwork and bills I will set the bills to auto pay and then I am done
He is sitting in self pity (he was the same way when my mother was in the hospital) He puts his head down when anyone says anything practical and feels sorry for himself.
It's all about him, it always was. Selfish bastard
I will say, your not the only one on this forum who is like a dog with a bone. You have said in previous posts that Mom and Dad do not want you involved in their care but you keep trying to be involved. They have a POA to handle their affairs. Let your sister do her job. If the bills do not get paid, thats her problem. If she is not doing what needs to be done, report Dad as a vulnerable adult to APS. If Mom had a Will I hope it says what yours is mine. That means Dad automatically inherits. Maybe the change to the Will was Dad being taken off as Executor and Sis being put on. Otherwise, any changes made with the intervention of a POA where they personally profit, I may question. If Sis is Executor and Mom has left money or things to others, your sister needs to follow Moms wishes.
And really, how do you know all this if you are not suppose to be involved. Unless you get guardianship over Dad, you have no say, especially, if he does not want u involved. I think you just need what to do and back off. Let the chips fall where they may.
Do you know what kind of change your sister had mom make to her will? Was your mom legally competent to change her will?
If she was competent, there is nothing you can do and you need to find a way to make peace with it and grieve your mom.
What are your dad's issues?
If it's true that your family, for whatever reason, is trying to distance from you, then maybe this is time for you to take care of yourself and blow them off.
The mess that is left is not your problem.
You have often written us about your family trying to remove you from their lives. It seems they are, some of them, removing THEMSELVES from yours at this point Your Sister was POA and has done whatever she has done, and now hopefully your father is ALSO her problem.
Move on with you life. There is nothing, apparently, from these people for you. Make a better family, one that can treasure what you have to offer.
Your mother had a will. If there is an executor, that is the person who is dealing with "the mess".
Leave your father be. Allow yourself time to grieve, to heal and move on