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My mother -n-law mobility is slow and can be a risk fall. My husband and I take care of her and we both work long hours. We have to stop what we are doing and come home to feed her. It makes me feel like we are not satisfying her needs. We both are pretty tired and her other children does not want to keep her at their home. What should I do?

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My mother didn't want to engage either. She just watched TV in her room all day. As much as we tried to get her to partake, it was of no use. We finally decided that she was happy watching TV.

I don't think this helps, but perhaps only to know that it is very common.
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MargPeck, if no one is willing or able to care for her in their home the logical solution is to transition her into a care facility. Even if she doesn't have much in savings or assets, she can private pay until it runs out then apply for Medicaid. If family members (who are not currently providing care) don't like this solution THEY should take her in, or pay for in-home care agency help. Many, many on this forum are in or have been in your shoes. Your husband is first priority. Your MIL had her whole life to plan for this eventuality. You do have options (but not everyone may be happy about it) so hang in there!

P.S. I worked so hard to get my MIL into a really great place on Medicaid and once there she chose to never get out of bed. Literally. Even though she could. Now, 3 years later, she can't get out of bed. So sad but nothing to be done about it.
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I would suggest moving her to AL so that she can interface with people her own age, join activities and make new friends. Isolation is not the answer for the elderly, they need interaction and do the best when surrounded by their peers, leaving her alone all day, can cause depression.
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