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I'm helping an aging uncle deal with a lot of his life problems, and my mother resents the time I spend helping him, even though she is my first priority. The last time she said something about it, I told her that it's not all about her, which I immediately regretted. Usually I can hold my words. Now she's even more upset with me. Any suggestions?

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Wolf12, I remember when I said that to my Mom. The day we brought Dad back to their house from the hospital after he had a heart attack, Dad could barely walk, so I moved his recliner to the other side of the living room so he could be closer to the bathroom.

Well, Mom didn't like the recliner being moved because it just didn't look good in that location. That's when I said something similar to "it's not all about you". That was a side of Mom I never knew existed, and it took me by surprise.

I just let it pass, as Mom probably realized this time she wasn't the star of her own show.
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Reply to freqflyer
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I agree with Shell. Mother or not, sometimes they have to hear it. It "is" not all about them. Children have spouses, children, and responsibilities. They can't expect to be your priority. I too would feel bad if I said that to my Mom. But sometimes they need to realize that their are others in ur world.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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Is your mother's depression being treated?

If your mother demands your undivided attention and resents any time you spend on anything else, you've got a problem.

Why do you feel the need not to point out her selfishness?
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Reply to BarbBrooklyn
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What is wrong with her being upset? Not everyone gets what hey want when they want it. Most people learn that by age 5. She needs to hear that the word does not revolve around her more often.
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Reply to lkdrymom
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I remember telling my mother a few years back that it wasn't all about her. I just got tired of talking to her about things to do with the house and some how some way it seem she would make it all about her. This was not the mother I grew up with, so it was shocking at first, however, I do not regret telling her that I believe sometimes it is good to put people in their place when they over step.

Wolf do not feel bad for speaking the truth.
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Reply to Shell38314
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